Worst of the Emerald Coast Awards

[30gAy]

The Walton Funn, January 15, 2007

Worst of the Emerald Coast Awards


The Linkside Conference Center in Sandestin was the scene for last Friday’s gala event, the Emerald Coast Journal’s Best of the Beach Awards. The event was filled with local developers/movers and shakers, and their over siliconed escorts who were moving and shaking in their own way.

The evening was primed by the magazine as “An Academy Award style event which will honor the best of the Emerald Coast.” Awards were handed out for Best Beachside Development, Best Golf Course Development, and Best Overall Community.

The winning developments were predictable and closely mirrored the major advertisers in the Emerald Coast Journal.

Clearly, the movers and shakers were patting themselves on the back.

This year, however, one south Walton resident does not intend to let them get away with the annual charade without throwing a few verbal tomatoes. Uber-opinionated local gadfly 30-gAy has announced an awards show of his own.

“I feel that the only appropriate response to this display of old boy back slapping, is a round of gay boy ass slapping. And so I hereby inaugurate the first annual Worst of the Emerald Coast Awards, a take on the Razzies if you will.”, said host 30-gAy.

The event was held in a local sushi bar and was attended by representatives from the area’s Hairdressing, Catering, Interior Design, and Car Maintenance (feeling they needed some female representation, a few lesbians were invited) professions. Awards were handed out in such categories as, Worst Environmental Rape, and Silliest Condo Name.

30-gAy’s good friend, and screaming queen, Ted presented the first award of the evening. “I wanted to mock the pretentiousness of gated communities, and so I gave an award for the Worst Gay-Ted Development, with honors given to the most snobbish community.”, said Ted

The biggest winner of the evening was the south Walton development of Los Alto Palmas, which took the top award in many categories; most notably the Most Outrageous Marketing Claims Award.

“It’s really not much more than some stucco boxes with cheap foam trim details, but you listen to their advertisements and you would think they are selling a slice of the Cote d’Azur. Just listen to a quote from their advertising,…..”‘Jasmine scented breezes waft to upper floor terraces in a scene reminiscent of Casablanca……’ Please, just shoot me.”, said 30-gAy

He went on to add, “They should rename the place Los Jairy Palmas -a result of too much marketing masturbation.”

30-gAy went on to explain that he hopes the awards will become an annual tradition in south Walton. "How else to keep the developers looking over their shoulders?"

[joho]

funny, funny, funny.........

[Miss Kitty]

...was Chateau de Paris one of the nomineez?

[Mermaid]

...was Chateau de Paris one of the nomineez?

Nah, the monastic community beat them to the punch. I hear it was a close run, though.

[drunkkenartist]

Bravo! And though I personally have nothing against Paris, most of the monied right wingers do. So I'm wondering who was the marketing geenyus that came up with "Chateau De Paris"? I think it would be grayt to have an all out awards ceremony that gets bigger and bigger every year.
Put me on the invite list! I love it!

Here's one for ya. Bulldozing one the biggest, bestest, funnest Art Galleries ON EARTH, and letting the property sit vacant for years on end. Deserves a "DUH" award of somesort in my book. Not that I had any personal interest....What a COLLABORATIve cluster fudge that was!

dka


Oh and Miss Kitty, I've gone to calling myself DKA, as the cute moniker of "da" that you've given me sounds too much like "duh", and that is hitting just a little close to home!

[Miss Kitty]

Bravo! And though I personally have nothing against Paris, most of the monied right wingers do. So I'm wondering who was the marketing geenyus that came up with "Chateau De Paris"? I think it would be grayt to have an all out awards ceremony that gets bigger and bigger every year.
Put me on the invite list! I love it!

Here's one for ya. Bulldozing one the biggest, bestest, funnest Art Galleries ON EARTH, and letting the property sit vacant for years on end. Deserves a "DUH" award of somesort in my book. Not that I had any personal interest....What a COLLABORATIve cluster fudge that was!

dka



Oh and Miss Kitty, I've gone to calling myself DKA, as the cute moniker of "da" that you've given me sounds too much like "duh", and that is hitting just a little close to home!

could have called you ta-da, but dka it is.

[Mango]

Oh drothers. I thought my name was going to be somewhere in there.

[DD]

30-gAy....you crack me up!!

[Allifunn]

^5

[drunkkenartist]

"could have called you ta-da, but dka it is. "

Miss Kitty, you can call me anything you want to!

OK, back to "Worst of the Emerald Coast Awards", is this going to be followed up on? I want more details! I think its a great idea .

[Kimmifunn]

Worst Service...Old Florida Fish House
Worst over server...Red Bar
Worst drive home...331

[Miss Kitty]

Worst Service...Old Florida Fish House
1)Worst over server...Red Bar
2)Worst drive home...331

1)... omg, did this happen to you, too???
2)... not if you let Merman drive!

[Teresa]

Worst Gay-Ted Development

great report gadfly!!!