Listening skills...does anyone have them any more???

**30ABandMan** · 05-28-2009, 09:04 PM

Ya know, I may just be jaded because in a former life/career my job and other people's safety depended on my listening skills. I don't know if it is just because it is the end of the school year or what but I AM SICK of having to repeat myself!!! Have any of you noticed that you can't go anywhere like a restaurant or other public serving place and not have to repeat yourself multiple times? And how often do they mess your order up anyway?

I am amazed at how carelessly people perform their jobs.

Rant off...
Thanks for listening...

Now, I can eat my ill prepared yet clearly ordered pizza.

p.s. Domino's on HWY 84 in Dothan sux.

**Miss Critter** · 05-28-2009, 09:07 PM

I'm sorry, did you say something? Let me remove these earbuds. Maybe you could send me a text???

DD · 05-28-2009, 09:10 PM

God luv ya, 30ABM. I can so relate. In fact, I think it's one of my pet peeves (search pet peeves threads

). In fact, it's probably time for another volume of pet peeves, but I'm trying to be more upbeat these days.

Anyway, yes, I find myself repeating myself time and time again--generally to no avail.

**30ABandMan** · 05-28-2009, 09:12 PM

As my father in law used to say...Ya know why they don't send donkeys to school? Because no one likes a smart @ss hahaha!!!

**Lynnie** · 05-28-2009, 09:50 PM

Y'all, I don't know if this related or not but I have a GF who talks nonstop! I was on the phone one day gossipping and was asked how GF was.

"If she ain't talkin' she ain't listening." Everyone knew exactly what I was talking about.

DD · 05-28-2009, 10:02 PM

Originally Posted by Lynnie

Y'all, I don't know if this related or not but I have a GF who talks nonstop! I was on the phone one day gossipping and was asked how GF was.

"If she ain't talkin' she ain't listening." Everyone knew exactly what I was talking about.

**NoHall** · 05-28-2009, 10:32 PM

I have a hard time with people who can't SPEAK. I have Clark Kent-type super hearing--I can hear a bird fart in the next county. It makes it hard for me to filter out background noise from the person who is standing in front of me talking.

So I thought it was just me. I started turning the captions on during movies a few years ago, and now I use them to just watch t.v. I figured it was my funky hearing.

But when I show a movie at school (as a legitimate part of the curriculum!) the boys will tell me to turn it on, too. People talk too fast, they mumble, they slur, they don't articulate.

I HATE phone conversations--It's impossible to understand! Every other sentence on my end is, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," "Can you repeat that?" or "Huh?"

Arrrrrrrgh!

**Carol G** · 05-29-2009, 01:14 AM

Originally Posted by NoHall

I have a hard time with people who can't SPEAK. I have Clark Kent-type super hearing--I can hear a bird fart in the next county. It makes it hard for me to filter out background noise from the person who is standing in front of me talking.

So I thought it was just me. I started turning the captions on during movies a few years ago, and now I use them to just watch t.v. I figured it was my funky hearing.

But when I show a movie at school (as a legitimate part of the curriculum!) the boys will tell me to turn it on, too. People talk too fast, they mumble, they slur, they don't articulate.

I HATE phone conversations--It's impossible to understand! Every other sentence on my end is, "I'm sorry, I didn't catch that," "Can you repeat that?" or "Huh?"

Arrrrrrrgh!

I am so right there with you on this... It took me a while to figure out what the problem was, because I knew I wasn't losing my hearing, I could hear EVERYTHING! But if there is background noise, especially something repetitive or droning, I cannot distinguish words unless a person very clearly enunciates, and even then sometimes it is a problem. This can happen even with an air conditioning hum or traffic noises, or especially phone static/noises. Sometimes I just give up and pretend I've heard whatever the person is saying out of embarrassment or frustration. I believe it's a neurological issue personally, not necessarily a "hearing" problem. I turned the captions on during tv & movies a few months ago, and I'll never go back, it makes such a difference!

Anyway, I don't mean to derail the thread, and I'm not excusing poor service... I think losing our ability to truly focus is a consequence of all of the digital visual/aural/intellectual stimulation we are now constantly exposed to, with texting and chatting and IM'ing and googling and TV and video games and phones and near constant processing of multitudes of information. I posted an article a while ago on that *other* website that deals with faces and books ;) about the phenomenon of people remarking that they are losing the ability to read books, because they cannot focus their concentration long enough to finish it. Interesting stuff.

**NoHall** · 05-29-2009, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by WaterCourseWay

I am so right there with you on this... It took me a while to figure out what the problem was, because I knew I wasn't losing my hearing, I could hear EVERYTHING! But if there is background noise, especially something repetitive or droning, I cannot distinguish words unless a person very clearly enunciates, and even then sometimes it is a problem. This can happen even with an air conditioning hum or traffic noises, or especially phone static/noises. Sometimes I just give up and pretend I've heard whatever the person is saying out of embarrassment or frustration. I believe it's a neurological issue personally, not necessarily a "hearing" problem. I turned the captions on during tv & movies a few months ago, and I'll never go back, it makes such a difference!

I don't think it's neurological with me. There is a hearing condition, whose name I can't remember--a friend of mine's father has it so bad that he literally can't stand to be in public. Silverware on a plate causes him physical pain.

I don't think we were meant to have so much background noise. A few years ago I went with some friends to a place in the mountains. We were out in the middle of a cemetery surrounded by national park land late at night. I was blown away--it was the first time in many, many years that I recall ever being in complete silence.

Originally Posted by WaterCourseWay

Anyway, I don't mean to derail the thread, and I'm not excusing poor service... I think losing our ability to truly focus is a consequence of all of the digital visual/aural/intellectual stimulation we are now constantly exposed to, with texting and chatting and IM'ing and googling and TV and video games and phones and near constant processing of multitudes of information. I posted an article a while ago on that *other* website that deals with faces and books ;) about the phenomenon of people remarking that they are losing the ability to read books, because they cannot focus their concentration long enough to finish it. Interesting stuff.

I didn't mean to derail it either, but I think that there is something to speaking clearly, making and maintaining eye contact with the person you are addressing, etc. (And I'm not accusing 30ABandman of being a poor speaker--he probably knows this.)

**Miss Kitty** · 05-29-2009, 09:39 AM

I am waiting for a cell phone with subtitles. I HATE talking on the cell phone. I have a few friends that I cannot for the life of me catch what they are saying on the jailcell phone.

**NoHall** · 05-29-2009, 09:42 AM

Originally Posted by Miss Kitty

I am waiting for a cell phone with subtitles. I HATE talking on the cell phone. I have a few friends that I cannot for the life of me catch what they are saying on the jailcell phone.

Me, too! Grrrrrr...

**Beauty hunter** · 05-29-2009, 10:25 AM

The restaurant business is one of the high stress jobs that people can't understand if they have never worked in that industry. Some people work well in that environment- alot of people don't - they just need the money. Chefs are notorious for being cranky, and people always complain about the help- try tipping better- money is the best communicator in this society, unfortunately. ok, I see another thread starting on the chef comment in rebuttals- put a lock on that one Kurt or hang a gone shopping sign on it. cluck cluck feathers flyin
I absoluuuuuuutely love u chefs by the way- maybe that will work.......

Communication is a never ending process that constantly requires fine-tuning.

Examples:1. Divorce is a major example of communication breakdown- usually the communication before the actual tie isn't clear.2. The first thing in a war in order to gain control is to shut down all type of communication, this gives the target focus comprehensive access with minimal leaks to accomplish victory. Turn that one around to get the point- keep communication open until you get the desired result.

Even the same language that we speak(english) has many ways to be spoken and many ways to be heard. Depending on our background experience, state of mind, former hurts from relationships, and just not hearing due to whatever, the listening factor is something else lost in the shuffle of societies quest to do everything fast.

Fights begin when people's communication is not clear or the terms of communication have been breached or there hasn't been any communication.

To me it is always better to continue to communicate in a friendly manner until the problem is solved.

TMI I know, but I would rather spend the extra time trying to come to an agreement to gain a friend than ignore the situation and gain an enemy. Even close long-time friends hit the snag of communication at times, and of course, we know we are a society of humans full of imperfections.

Sorry u asked now? Love ya!

**momof2kids** · 05-29-2009, 01:01 PM

I can relate - but on the other side. Working retail in the outlet mall so many people come to the counter to be checked out and then procede to answer their cell phon interrupting the customer service I am trying to give them! When I don't say anything & just start handing the stuff to them & walk away sometimes I will get a comment about how I was rude... hmmmm... was I the one who answered the call? Nope, I was making sure you had a great time in the store and found what you needed... I refuse to talk to the customer while they are on the phone. People have no attention spans anymore.

**Lynnie** · 05-29-2009, 05:01 PM

Yes, we do need cell phone etiquette.

**ShallowsNole** · 05-29-2009, 08:13 PM

My co-workers tell me I sometimes talk too loud, and my family tells me that I mumble and need to speak up.

Perhaps it's a female (co-workers) vs male (family) thing, but I'm getting a complex over it.

**Beauty hunter** · 05-29-2009, 08:22 PM

Have a t-shirt printed up that says $1.00/comment- you'll either get rich or they'll shutup- either way you win

**Seasheller** · 05-29-2009, 10:36 PM

Originally Posted by momof2kids

I can relate - but on the other side. Working retail in the outlet mall so many people come to the counter to be checked out and then procede to answer their cell phon interrupting the customer service I am trying to give them! When I don't say anything & just start handing the stuff to them & walk away sometimes I will get a comment about how I was rude... hmmmm... was I the one who answered the call? Nope, I was making sure you had a great time in the store and found what you needed... I refuse to talk to the customer while they are on the phone. People have no attention spans anymore.

Have done that before (taken a call whilel checking out) and I remember thinking I was being
really rude. I am going to try not to do that anymore...thanks for the reminder.
Along the lines of poor listening skills....there's a quote by Oprahs fav poet, maya Angelou is it?
"People don't remember what you said or what you did but how you made them feel". .....I agree,
And when people use poor eye contact or give mumbled responses (or use the cell phone during a customer transaction!) it certainly leaves a lasting impression. It's becoming a very ADD world...way too much tech stuff and constant interruptions. And repeating and asking people to repeat. EXHAUSTING.....you can tell I need my 30A fix. Will be down in 3 wks:)

**ShallowsNole** · 05-30-2009, 10:20 AM

Originally Posted by Seasheller

Have done that before (taken a call whilel checking out) and I remember thinking I was being
really rude. I am going to try not to do that anymore...thanks for the reminder.
Along the lines of poor listening skills....there's a quote by Oprahs fav poet, maya Angelou is it?
"People don't remember what you said or what you did but how you made them feel". .....I agree,
And when people use poor eye contact or give mumbled responses (or use the cell phone during a customer transaction!) it certainly leaves a lasting impression. It's becoming a very ADD world...way too much tech stuff and constant interruptions. And repeating and asking people to repeat. EXHAUSTING.....you can tell I need my 30A fix. Will be down in 3 wks:)

It happens on 30A too - that's how this thread got started!

But at least you won't be on the "business" end of it down here...hope you have a great time!

**scooterbug44** · 05-30-2009, 11:35 AM

Part of it could be where you are ordering/who you are ordering from - people seem to forget that part of the price for food, goods, etc. is SERVICE and corporations don't make big profits by hiring experienced staff and paying them well.

You get what you pay for - I don't remember the last time I was served the "wrong" thing at a local restaurant. (And I am one of those people who likes my dressing and anything else I am unsure about on the side, the goat cheese and anchovies deleted from any dish, the sandwich special on greens instead of a bun/bread etc.)

If you get bad service somewhere, stop going there and TELL them* that is the reason you have stopped patronizing their business.

*Via email, call/letter to manager etc. Not as part of your snit when your order is wrong.

I hate all the ambient noise too - between cell phones, tvs, screaming kids, and music that is too loud, many people are even harder to hear/understand!

**Seasheller** · 05-30-2009, 03:20 PM

Originally Posted by ShallowsNole

It happens on 30A too - that's how this thread got started!

But at least you won't be on the "business" end of it down here...hope you have a great time!

THANKS!

(Where did that llittle "thanks" button go?)

**Minnie** · 05-30-2009, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by Seasheller

THANKS!

(Where did that llittle "thanks" button go?)

In the Lounge, the "Thanks" button is not an option.

**Seasheller** · 05-30-2009, 06:39 PM

Oh. Thanks

**SWGB** · 05-30-2009, 09:59 PM

Originally Posted by scooterbug44

Part of it could be where you are ordering/who you are ordering from - people seem to forget that part of the price for food, goods, etc. is SERVICE and corporations don't make big profits by hiring experienced staff and paying them well.

You get what you pay for - I don't remember the last time I was served the "wrong" thing at a local restaurant. (And I am one of those people who likes my dressing and anything else I am unsure about on the side, the goat cheese and anchovies deleted from any dish, the sandwich special on greens instead of a bun/bread etc.)

If you get bad service somewhere, stop going there and TELL them* that is the reason you have stopped patronizing their business.

*Via email, call/letter to manager etc. Not as part of your snit when your order is wrong.

I hate all the ambient noise too - between cell phones, tvs, screaming kids, and music that is too loud, many people are even harder to hear/understand!

Dearest scootybug,

The underlined has earned you some nicknames I can't post on sowal for fear of banning. No waiter or chef enjoys the person who orders off menu and then complains that the food doesn't taste right. If you want it your way stay home or go to Burger King.

Sincerely,

SWGB

**scooterbug44** · 05-30-2009, 10:27 PM

Originally Posted by SWGB

Dearest scootybug,
The underlined has earned you some nicknames I can't post on sowal for fear of banning. No waiter or chef enjoys the person who orders off menu and then complains that the food doesn't taste right. If you want it your way stay home or go to Burger King.

Sincerely,

SWGB

Not so dear SWGB,

The whole point of that post was that I know I can be a P.I.T.A. when ordering/dining, yet don't experience "listening problems".

Thanks for making me feel like crap,

Scooterbug

**NoHall** · 05-30-2009, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by SWGB

Dearest scootybug,

The underlined has earned you some nicknames I can't post on sowal for fear of banning. No waiter or chef enjoys the person who orders off menu and then complains that the food doesn't taste right. If you want it your way stay home or go to Burger King.

Sincerely,

SWGB

Originally Posted by scooterbug44

Not so dear SWGB,

The whole point of that post was that I know I can be a P.I.T.A. when ordering/dining, yet don't experience "listening problems".

Thanks for making me feel like crap,

Scooterbug

Dear SWGB and Scooty,

Please make up! You're only hurting the rest of us kids! Scooty, it's okay to be Sally. I don't like goat cheese, either. I also don't like mushrooms--I've seen where those things grow.

However, I agree that if I order something "my way," I'm under obligation to like it!

Hoping that everyone will just be happy,

Noitall

**SWGB** · 05-30-2009, 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by NoHall

Dear SWGB and Scooty,

Please make up! You're only hurting the rest of us kids! Scooty, it's okay to be Sally. I don't like goat cheese, either. I also don't like mushrooms--I've seen where those things grow.

However, I agree that if I order something "my way," I'm under obligation to like it!

Hoping that everyone will just be happy,

Noitall

We'll just have a death match at Grayton tomorrow.

**NoHall** · 05-30-2009, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by SWGB

We'll just have a death match at Grayton tomorrow.

**Miss Kitty** · 05-30-2009, 11:20 PM

...y'all jsut made me do a happy dance reading this! (And on a swolllen ankle no less!)

**SWGB** · 05-31-2009, 12:24 AM

Originally Posted by Miss Kitty

...y'all jsut made me do a happy dance reading this! (And on a swolllen ankle no less!)

Okay is this a new injury? If not please see a doctor on Monday if this is related to the attack bench.

**Lynnie** · 05-31-2009, 08:24 AM

Originally Posted by SWGB

Okay is this a new injury? If not please see a doctor on Monday if this is related to the attack bench.

Jitty, I danced, too. And, I agree with SWGB - go see a doc. What happened this time?

DD · 05-31-2009, 11:20 AM

Originally Posted by scooterbug44

Not so dear SWGB,

The whole point of that post was that I know I can be a P.I.T.A. when ordering/dining, yet don't experience "listening problems".

Thanks for making me feel like crap,

Scooterbug

Darling Scooty:

Don't let him make you feel like crap. You want it the way you want it. So what if it makes you a PITA. You're paying the bill.

Hugs,
DD