Life in the Buff Theme Park
Hoping to capture a slice of a niche market that goes underserved by mainstream theme parks, local gadfly turned developer 30-gAy has announced plans to open America’s first clothing optional theme park. The park called Life in the Buff, is to be located in scrubland near Ebro, Florida.
“I originally intended to announce my plans sometime in June, but what with rumors about Disney coming I felt it was best to get to the head of the pack. Come to think about it, it is always best to be first in line when your junk is hanging out…..”, said 30-gAy.
The park will feature numerous feature rides such as the Tit-a-Whirl, It’s a Small ****, Hairy-Go-Round, and Privates of the Caribbean.
“I anticipate that the park will attract up to 1.2 million naturists a year.”
The announcement has not been without controversy. Members of Panama City’s Air-brush T-Shirt Guild have complained that the land could be better used by people who wear and buy clothing. “It is just the latest assault on our way of life here in northwest Florida”, said Beth Hawthorn -a Guild member, “Just you wait and see. Those nudists will kill our business just like those damn PETA folks destroyed the shell-animal figurine industry.”
A scene from the ride Privates of the Caribbean