These past days have been rough. I am drained. Today was Doug's Father's funeral. His name was Daniel. He had planned everything down to the meal we would all eat together afterwards. It was his way of taking care of us even after he had left. The priest said that he worried about what to say about Dan all morning, as Dan was a man who planned everything ahead of time. He said that sometime during his pacing he felt a peace come over him and he heard Dan's voice say to him not to worry that everything was okay and to just speak from his heart. Dan had taken care of even the priest.
I DO NOT KNOW HOW DOUG is doing it, but he went down and opened the cafe....in his own way taking care of those who come in to dine tonight. I hear it is very busy...and with me not there they are short handed!!! I am on the couch under a quilt with my son and daughter. I feel like the bottom of a cloud has been ripped open and I am drenched in tears....mine and a whole community's.
I miss my own Mother and younger sister who died two years ago. I miss my little baby boy, who died when he was three days old, and I miss a fiancee that was murdered three months before I moved to Grayton back in 1989. I haven't cried like this in a long time. Not even at my own mother's funeral....as I had to be the strong one. Actually, I always have to be the strong one in my family. But today, I didn't have to be strong....and it showed. A pain was revisited that I thought I wouldn't have to go through again, but I was wrong. Time does help, but it never heals. At least that's what I experienced today.
Now, I wait for the peace that follows this kind of pain. Thank God for those who are strong right now for others....you are so needed by those in your life that cannot be strong right now. God bless all of you who have sent your words of strength, kindness, comfort, and love to me and Doug. Being able to share with you all has been a such a blessing.
Sorry to cry on so many shoulders tonight....but actually it takes a lot of shoulders to carry these tears. If any of you were dining with us tonight I pray all went well.
Much Love
Kathy
I DO NOT KNOW HOW DOUG is doing it, but he went down and opened the cafe....in his own way taking care of those who come in to dine tonight. I hear it is very busy...and with me not there they are short handed!!! I am on the couch under a quilt with my son and daughter. I feel like the bottom of a cloud has been ripped open and I am drenched in tears....mine and a whole community's.
I miss my own Mother and younger sister who died two years ago. I miss my little baby boy, who died when he was three days old, and I miss a fiancee that was murdered three months before I moved to Grayton back in 1989. I haven't cried like this in a long time. Not even at my own mother's funeral....as I had to be the strong one. Actually, I always have to be the strong one in my family. But today, I didn't have to be strong....and it showed. A pain was revisited that I thought I wouldn't have to go through again, but I was wrong. Time does help, but it never heals. At least that's what I experienced today.
Now, I wait for the peace that follows this kind of pain. Thank God for those who are strong right now for others....you are so needed by those in your life that cannot be strong right now. God bless all of you who have sent your words of strength, kindness, comfort, and love to me and Doug. Being able to share with you all has been a such a blessing.
Sorry to cry on so many shoulders tonight....but actually it takes a lot of shoulders to carry these tears. If any of you were dining with us tonight I pray all went well.
Much Love
Kathy