Official: UT to Big East

[buster]

(AP) Knoxville - In a surprise move The University Tennessee announced today it intends to change conference affiliation from The SEC to The Big East.

UT president, C. Emmett Beaver, made the surprise announcement the day after The Tennessee football team lost to The University of Florida for the 7th straight time.

"There are several reasons we think this move makes sense. It's apparent we are no longer competitive when we play Big Boy Football. Look, we haven't been able to compete with Florida, Alabama or LSU for years. Now, Arkansas, Mississippi State, Auburn, South Carolina and Georgia have all passed us by," Said Beaver. "Even Vandy is now better than us. The writing was on the wall when we tried to hire a new coach. First six guys we called all turned us down. The Coach at Duke turned us down. People weren't even returning our calls. And look at the guy we got. Did you see those pants he was wearing? Looked like a damn Kansas City...... Never mind. Guy can't even count to eleven."

"We thought this pre-emptive move was in our best interest. Also, The Big East is a better fit academically. The Big East promised that any recruit with the IQ of hand ball would be able to play for us."

 

[Beach Runner]

Wha-wha-what? This is just too stressful for me. Xanax time.

 

[Miss Kitty]

Ha! That sounded strange to me! Ya' know, here in Texas, UT means something entirely different!

 

[elizabethg]

this cannot be real.

 

[Lady D]

(AP) Knoxville - In a surprise move The University Tennessee announced today it intends to change conference affiliation from The SEC to The Big East.

UT president, C. Emmett Beaver, made the surprise announcement the day after The Tennessee football team lost to The University of Florida for the 7th straight time.

"There are several reasons we think this move makes sense. It's apparent we are no longer competitive when we play Big Boy Football. Look, we haven't been able to compete with Florida, Alabama or LSU for years. Now, Arkansas, Mississippi State, Auburn, South Carolina and Georgia have all passed us by," Said Beaver. "Even Vandy is now better than us. The writing was on the wall when we tried to hire a new coach. First six guys we called all turned us down. The Coach at Duke turned us down. People weren't even returning our calls. And look at the guy we got. Did you see those pants he was wearing? Looked like a damn Kansas City...... Never mind. Guy can't even count to eleven."

"We thought this pre-emptive move was in our best interest. Also, The Big East is a better fit academically. The Big East promised that any recruit with the IQ of hand ball would be able to play for us."

I so hope this isn't true. And I cannot believe the president making these comments about Derek Dooley. Talking about rude. Enough of a reason to be fired right there. Dooley is a nice person, and a good coach. Can't even count to eleven. C'mon now. These comments make me angry. What a moron. What the heck is he doing being a president of a university. If they cannot compete in the SEC anymore they won't be able to in the Big East for sure. And look what he is saying about the recruits and their IQ. It takes a lot to get into UT.

 

[hkem1]

I so hope this isn't true. And I cannot believe the president making these comments about Derek Dooley. Talking about rude. Enough of a reason to be fired right there. Dooley is a nice person, and a good coach. Can't even count to eleven. C'mon now. These comments make me angry. What a moron. What the heck is he doing being a president of a university. If they cannot compete in the SEC anymore they won't be able to in the Big East for sure. And look what he is saying about the recruits and their IQ. It takes a lot to get into UT.

Wait... are you serious?

 

[Lady D]

Wait... are you serious?

Serious about what exactly? And I find nothing on two UT sites to do with the Vols to corroborate this as being true. Nothing on Knox News, nothing on utsports.com, etc!

 

[hkem1]

I'm pretty sure it was satire.

 

[Beach Runner]

Exactly. As a Tulane alum, I know that UT is "Hook 'em, horns." UTenn is the pale orange school. BUT WTF? Sorry, Lady D.

As TI would say, big sheet poppin' right now in Div. I football. Makes me sad.

 

[buster]

There are a few IQ points missing on this thread. :rofl: