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I have had so many cases lately with big parties on who pays the bill. Often the people visiting want to pay as a way of saying thank-you to theirs hosts. While the hosting couple want to pay because "they are hosting their guest". As a server, I have to pick whose credit card I use to pay the bill. I always accept the credit card from the person who tells me first that they will take care of the bill. Sometimes this offends the second party. Is this good manners for the server to do this?
 

scooterbug44

SoWal Expert
May 8, 2007
16,732
3,330
Sowal
Mama Scooterbug has almost broken my hand smacking it away from the bill - don't get in the middle!

Usually, whoever gets the check paid off first wins (this usually involves a well timed trip to the restroom and intercepting the server with a credit card).

IMO most of the "I want to pays" are for show and the guests should pay for their hosts as a thank you for the lodging/sightseeing/homecooked meals.
 
My husband just has a air of authority around him, so he always gets the check. My brother always disappears to the bathroom when it's time for the check. On Mother's Day when he'd been away so long that hubby had already paid and we had to wait on bro to leave, hubby told him, "We were afraid you fell in." :rotfl:

So millseynz, give the check to the person leaving the table first.
 
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The "well timed restroom visit while dropping off a credit card" is what always happens. It's the protocol for not offending my "locals" and avoiding that awkward bill pay situation I'm seeking?
Mama Scooterbug has almost broken my hand smacking it away from the bill - don't get in the middle!

Usually, whoever gets the check paid off first wins (this usually involves a well timed trip to the restroom and intercepting the server with a credit card).

IMO most of the "I want to pays" are for show and the guests should pay for their hosts as a thank you for the lodging/sightseeing/homecooked meals.
 

bluemtnrunner

Beach Fanatic
Dec 31, 2007
1,502
144
As the server I don't think there is anything you can do. We have a friend who slips to the bathroom during the meal but actually goes to give the waiter his card so that the bill never comes, just the receipt. Pretty slick.
 

scooterbug44

SoWal Expert
May 8, 2007
16,732
3,330
Sowal
Getting mad at the server for accepting payment is as classy as getting mad because someone just bought you dinner.
 

SneakyPete

Beach Lover
May 8, 2009
113
61
I agree with Alicia -- if there seems to be a struggle at the table, then step away for a few minutes until they can work it out. If a diner sneakily wants to take care of it, then he/she must REALLY want to take care of it and the "struggle" isn't for show, so you should put it on their card and assume the treated party will graciously accept the gift.

Hopefully those reading this thread will realize they need to spell out payment BEFORE they put their server in this position.
 

Geo

Beach Fanatic
Dec 24, 2006
2,750
2,782
Santa Rosa Beach, FL
"I won't argue with crazy people".

That is what I now say to my family from Chicago whenever we dine out and they insist on paying.

It used to be this long, painful discussion where I would explain to them that they don't need to pay every single time just because they are my parents/grandparents/uncles, etc. (and I'm almost 40 years old now) but yet they would still insist and become hostile when I wouldn't relent. I would explain to them that it would be much better if they would just say thank you if/when I paid rather than the drama.

Sometimes there would be a physical struggle (literally) for the bill. And sadly they even get mad at the server if they took my credit card/let me pay.

But no. No more. The slightest mention by my people that they have the check and I immediately say-
Awesome- thanks. The bill's all yours because I won't argue with crazy people.

And then I order another round on them. lol
 
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