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Dawn

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18. You or your kin has run for office in Walton County.

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Reminds me of the time I went to my buddy's double wide for a barbeque. There was a NASCAR race going on, so they had the Zenith 48" TV perched on the old dead washer in the backyard with the cable running maybe thirty feet out the bedroom window. We wuz smoking and joking real good, pitching empty long necks fifty feet into the trash can, complete with chicken wire backstop, until the hound dog ran chasing after a cat, tripped on the dangling cable wire, and took the Zenith tumbling into the dust. Dang dog.

Reminds me of the time I went to my buddy&#039;s double wide for a barbeque. There was a NASCAR race going on, so they had the Zenith 48&quot; TV perched on the old dead washer in the backyard with the cable running maybe thirty feet out the bedroom window. We wuz smoking and joking real good, pitching empty long necks fifty feet into the trash can, complete with chicken wire backstop, until the hound dog ran chasing after a cat, tripped on the dangling cable wire, and took the Zenith tumbling into the dust. Dang dog.

carson

[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][h=2][SIZE=5][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]Redneck Extreme [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][FONT="Times New Roman"][/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE][/h][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]You're An EXTREME Redneck When...[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smokeat the dinner table in front of her kids.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes upand down depending on how much gas is in it.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]3 You've been married three times and stillhave the same in-laws.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]4 You think a woman who is out of yourleague bowls on a different night.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]5 You wonder how service stations keeptheir rest-rooms so clean.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]6 Someone in your family died right aftersaying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]8 Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by aceiling fan.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]9 Your junior prom offered day care.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]10. You think the last words of theStar-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]11. You lit a match in the bathroom andyour house exploded right off its wheels.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch hasmore teeth than your spouse.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]13. You have to go outside to get somethingfrom the fridge.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]14. One of your kids was born on a pooltable.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]15. You need one more hole punched in yourcard to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]16. You can't get married to yoursweetheart because there's a law against it.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]17. You think loading the dishwasher meansgetting your wife drunk.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]And in closing....[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]Two good ol' boys in a Alabama trailer parkwere sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting offwork at the local Nissan plant.[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd,"If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to yourwife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would thatmake us kin?"[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for aminute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about thequestion. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it wouldmake us even!"[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][COLOR=black][FONT="Verdana"]NOWY'ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY[/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=black][/COLOR]
[FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]

[h=2]Redneck Extreme [/h]You&#039;re An EXTREME Redneck When... 
 
 
 
1 You let your 14-year-old daughter smokeat the dinner table in front of her kids. 
 
2 The Blue Book value of your truck goes upand down depending on how much gas is in it. 
 
3 You&#039;ve been married three times and stillhave the same in-laws. 
 
4 You think a woman who is out of yourleague bowls on a different night. 
 
5 You wonder how service stations keeptheir rest-rooms so clean. 
 
6 Someone in your family died right aftersaying, &#039;Hey, guys, watch this.&#039; 
 
7 You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 
 
8 Your wife&#039;s hairdo was once ruined by aceiling fan. 
 
9 Your junior prom offered day care. 
 
10. You think the last words of theStar-Spangled Banner are &#039;Gentlemen, start your engines.&#039; 
 
11. You lit a match in the bathroom andyour house exploded right off its wheels. 
 
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch hasmore teeth than your spouse. 
 
13. You have to go outside to get somethingfrom the fridge. 
 
14. One of your kids was born on a pooltable. 
 
15. You need one more hole punched in yourcard to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 
 
16. You can&#039;t get married to yoursweetheart because there&#039;s a law against it. 
 
17. You think loading the dishwasher meansgetting your wife drunk. 
 
 
 
And in closing.... 
 
Two good ol&#039; boys in a Alabama trailer parkwere sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting offwork at the local Nissan plant. 
 
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd,&quot;If&#039;n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday &amp; make love to yourwife while you was off huntin&#039; and she got pregnant and had a baby, would thatmake us kin?&quot; 
 
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for aminute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about thequestion. Finally, he says, &quot;Well, I don&#039;t know about kin, but it wouldmake us even!&quot; 
 
 
 
NOWY&#039;ALL HAVE A GOOD DAY

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After Hurricane Isaias: Photos of South Walton Beaches

Cars of 30A At Alys Beach: Event Highlights & Photo Gallery

Sixth annual Run Watersound At Watersound Town Center October 24, 2026

Support Our Parks: The 2026 Friends of Camp Helen Pumpkin Patch Is Open