Growing Old, it ain't pretty but it sure is funny

and it ain't for sissies!!!!

Funny Darlene!!!

Those made me laugh out loud !!!!!! thank you, thank you :clap_1:

Here is some more aging wisdom!

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

--- Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" the reporter asked. She simply replied, "No peer pressure."

--- The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.!

--- Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied. "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

--- I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees. Fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license

--- An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart "Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?" "Then I'll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week ."

---My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

--- Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

---I'm getting into swing dancing. Not on purpose. Some parts of my body are just prone to swinging.

---It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.

---These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, "For fast relief."

---Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.

---Don't let aging get you down It's too hard to get back up!

--- Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.

- --THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

You my dear are endless!!!!! :clap_1: those are great!!! :clap_1:

Love where her tits are, KD!!! :rolling:

Love where her tits are, KD!!! :rolling:

That was one of my favorites!!!!

:funn: Wonderful, thanks for the smile!

:floor: Reality bites!

:floor: Reality bites!

amen!

That cartoon with the old geezer and his walking stick in bed--that'll be Merman and me in forty years. That made me laugh my * off.

After seeing cartoon of gravity and breasts, it made me wonder. There is Viagra for men, why cannot something be created that is non-surgical to give those puppies a lift? Any ideas?

After seeing cartoon of gravity and breasts, it made me wonder. There is Viagra for men, why cannot something be created that is non-surgical to give those puppies a lift? Any ideas?

:lolabove:

After seeing cartoon of gravity and breasts, it made me wonder. There is Viagra for men, why cannot something be created that is non-surgical to give those puppies a lift? Any ideas?

I shouldn't be laughing but I am. At the thoughts of some old lady taking "female bust-enhancing Viagra" and watching her boobies levitate slowly but surely...up and up and up and up...the visual is too much!

Isn't it funn to have pictures in your head? I think it makes life so much richer...my imagination works really well.