Discussion in 'Pets and Animals' started by Geo, Sep 5, 2009.
I'm so sorry...
Thx everyone for the kind words and support. It really means a lot...
I'm really struggling with this. I have never experienced emotional pain of this magnitude. I have had loved ones (human) succomb to terminal illness. And it hurt something terrible. But with them there was an element of relief- like part of me was glad that it "was over" when they passed. But I don't feel any relief at all that AbbyGal is gone. My pain isn't over and in many ways it feels like it is just beginning. I just want her here so badly.
A close friend of mine told me there would be an element of beauty in her passing and that I would experience what he called "exquisite love". At first I didn't get what he was saying but now I understand it.
So much love has come out of me for her. Granted a lot of it feels like it is being ripped out in the form of grief and sadness. But the love is just so big and pure.
I am grateful that we had the time we did and that I got to tell her what she meant to me and I said my goodbyes. But I still long for more time with her.
I don't know if there is a heaven. I hope there is on some level. I told her that as long as there is and we are both there that she should let everyone else know that she is to be the one to greet me when I get there.
I love you so much, AbbyGal. I'm glad you're not suffering but I miss you so badly that I can't stand it.
I'm so sorry for your loss. There is nothing quite like the pain of losing a beloved pet, especially after nursing them through the suffering of the end. Your friend was right about the pure love that you will feel as you deal with this...it is painful, but it gets better with time. A good a smart friend told me to give myself permission to mourn, and that was the best advise. After two or three days, I felt silly that I wanted to cry and be sad -- it was just a pet. That pet was my heart, and a big part of my life for 14 years. I mourned as long as I needed to...and I encourage you to do the same.
You're tribute to Abbygal is beautiful.
So sorry Geo. I have lost a furry loved one and I agree with Skunk. It's OK to grieve and you should allow yourself that. I still miss Sarge and always will. Prayers, hugs and love to you. It will get better.
Geo, so sorry for your loss. They are not just "dogs' or "cats", they are truly members of our family that can teach us the real meaning of unconditional love. Peace be with you.
I lost my 15 year old eskimo after a botched surgery. It hurt much worse than when my husband walked out after 30 years. I'll always miss her and hold her in my heart (it's been 2 years). Will say a prayer for you. Take as long as you need for mourning.
So sorry Geo. You came to the right place though because so many here have been through it. Skunky is right that you should grieve as long as you need to. AbbyGal sure looked like a great dog.
And Linda, thoughts and prayers go out to you too.
Geo, I am so sorry. I wish there were some magic words to lessen your pain. Skunky is right, only time and allowing yourself to grieve as long as you need will do that. And while the pain will eventually diminish, know that the love will always be there.
You're sadness has brought me to tears and I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a beloved dog, also, (my first) and was stunned by the emptiness that followed. It was more painful than I had ever imagined.
I believe it's so painful because we connect with our dogs on a much higher level of consciousness, one that involves all our senses. We feel our dogs love, without them ever speaking a word. We rarely tap into this in any other relationship, so we feel it in ways we never feel when losing a human friend or loved one. I really do believe our souls become one with our animals, and they with us, so take care and grieve for the part of yourself that you have lost, and may time heal your heart.
Geo, so sorry for your loss. An animal loss is really tough. I think it's because the relationship is all about the physical presence and nothing more. I can be away from a person for quite a while and still connect with him/her by phone, e-mail, letters. I'm O.K with this because we can still be communicating. It's not the same as being around them, but it helps. I might go a year without seeing certain loved ones without feeling too badly about it. On the other hand, if I'm away from my pets for a couple of weeks, it really sucks. I can't just call them and see how they're doing. They have to be there, I have to see them, hear them, pet them, hug them, it's an absolute must.
These are just my thoughts on why an animal loss can rival that of a person. Another thing is the sense of innocence. I really doubt that there is any evil in the animal world. They don't have ill intent. It's usually been unconditional love.
[SIZE=+1]Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown... [/SIZE]
So sorry, Geo. They love us unconditionally and break our hearts. Sweet Pea, Cowboy and I send you extra doses of love and licks, too. I found the Rainbow Bridge when The General died. I hope you find peace and comfort!
For me it is their vulnerability---so dependent on we human to do right by them---to love, feed, stroke and be there for them. they can never say wha tis wrong or tell us how they feel other than a wag, lick or following our every demand. Yes, they love unconditionally, but if we are smart, we love them back the same way, in spite of their imperfect ways. They give undconditionally but more importantly teach us how to give back in the same way....a powerful two way love.
I am so sorry for your loss. There are no words...cry, mourn, weep....then celebrate their life with photos and memorials. It is very ok to hurt right now. Don't try to stop it---let it go. I have been thru it several times---some expected---some not, and each time it rips my heart out. The losses mount one upon the other and seem to hurt even more with each new passing........but after time a healing begins and I know it is time to share my life with another. With pets we are allowed to be what we can not be with people, ourselves.
A great book on grieving that helped me the first time I really lost a baby pet is Angel Paws, Reflections on the Loss of a Beloved Pet. It really helped me know it is ok to grieve the passing of a treasured companion. It reflects that this pain has a very long history, going back centuries, not a new phenomenon to the modern man. Somehow there was comfort in that for me-----if other lived thru it then surely I can too. Read the poems, the stories, written even from the pet's point of view. You will find comfort.
My heart to you. Love in pet speak.
Geo, we are so sorry to hear of your loss.
Having lost our Miss Smoothie earlier this year, we definitely your pain -- it was the hardest thing either one of us have ever dealt with. Can't say that it really gets any easier --- but you have to just keep moving forward and honor their memory -- they wouldn't want you to be sad all the time. Your baby will always be with you in spirit.
One of the things that we did that seemed to at least help us remember all the good times was to make a slideshow of all the photos we could find of the old girl -- we use this slideshow as our screensaver. Sometimes we just sit and watch it ... it's bittersweet ... but for some reason it just seems to help. It's nice to walk into the office and see a photo of her --- makes us smile. One of the bohemians also did a life sized painting of Miss Smoothie while she was still with us ... it was a photo of her running and smiling ... it's a pleasant memory.
We're sending you much love and light.
~peace & blessings~
I don't know if you can read this very well. It says
"The life ends, but never the relationship."
Having lost many pets, I thank you for sharing your story with us. It helps heal to have support from others. My dear old dad always told me, "Lala (my family name) you might as well prepare to have your heart broken the moment you get a pet."
Hang in there Geo and take your time. Dogs just do something to us. Even when they are ticking you off you can't imagine being without them. Don't let anyone tell you to go get another dog. I didn't go out and get a new dad when my father died, why would anyone think you can just "replace" your best companion.
After a year I did find Ozzy at a shelter and brought him home with me and love him dearly but 5 years later, anytime I make popcorn I am still expecting to hear Pepper's little "woo woo woo" and see her run into the kitchen.
Oh, so sorry for your loss Geo. This thread has made me weepy. My thoughts are with you.
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