I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
Replies
14
SoWal Expert
I just read thesse to my mother!
Beach Fanatic
I guess mothers all over the country are the same, because I have definitely heard most of these.
SoWal InsiderAuthor
I just read thesse to my mother!
Did she use all of these too?! Mine sure did!
I guess mothers all over the country are the same, because I have definitely heard most of these.
I swear my mother said every single one of these. :roll:
FunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
LOVE this BB!!!!
picky
Oh dear. I am thinking I am a chip off the old block. When Alex cut himself slicing a bagel, I said "Don't bleed on the rug." And last week, when I caught him smoking in the house, I marched down to the basement and told him "NO smoking in the house, young man!" The killer was that he was in the basement, in the locked storage room, and I was 2 flights up in the bedroom folding sheets and I still knew. Even though I couldn't see him or hear him. Kind of like that mothers have eyes in the back of their head syndrome. (If you want to know how I knew, it was because the smell of the smoke wafted up through the ducts when the heat turned on...not exactly rocket science, but I didn't tell him that. ;-) )
SoWal Expert
I guess mothers all over the country are the same, because I have definitely heard most of these.
I have said most of them!
SoWal Insider
I remember some of them, but the one that sticks out most clearly is
"Turn off that light, we don't own the electric company you know"
I think MAN-go's mother was too tired by the time she had him her 5th child, so I am always following him around turning out lights.
"Turn off that light, we don't own the electric company you know"
I think MAN-go's mother was too tired by the time she had him her 5th child, so I am always following him around turning out lights.
picky
I remember some of them, but the one that sticks out most clearly is
"Turn off that light, we don't own the electric company you know"
I think MAN-go's mother was too tired by the time she had him her 5th child, so I am always following him around turning out lights.
My mother's variation was "Turn off that light, what do you think this is, Luna Park?" (Luna Park being the now-defunct amusement park on Coney Island that she knew from her childhood.)
SoWal Insider
UH OH- I get the late night munchies and the mention of Coney Island makes me crave an egg cream. 
Not sure if I have all the ingredients.:shock: 
Not sure if I have all the ingredients.:shock: picky
UH OH- I get the late night munchies and the mention of Coney Island makes me crave an egg cream.
That's so weird that you said that because I was thinking of an egg cream today when I popped open a can of cream soda. I haven't made one since last summer. I have everything but the club soda on hand.
Unless you have a NYC background, the rest of you might not have any idea what Mango and I are talking about:
http://www.nycvisit.com/content/index.cfm?pagePkey=674
Edited
SoWal Insider
Article by Tony the Tour guide. .......
I liked my egg creams frothy with real egg but I'll take anything right now.
I liked my egg creams frothy with real egg but I'll take anything right now.
Edited
Beach Fanatic
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother, at 83, still threatens me with that one. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Parents never grow old or die. They take over your body and soul in a slow form of possession.:roll:
I lost my dad a few years ago at 80, and ever since I've been clipping coupons, complaining about "highway robbery", have inherited his laugh, snort, belch and what not. I've pre-inherited my mothers sharp tongue and quick wit. My Dad's sarcasm. His handwriting. His comments and put-downs. :shock:
Love 'em while ya got 'em!
dka
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother, at 83, still threatens me with that one. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Parents never grow old or die. They take over your body and soul in a slow form of possession.:roll:
I lost my dad a few years ago at 80, and ever since I've been clipping coupons, complaining about "highway robbery", have inherited his laugh, snort, belch and what not. I've pre-inherited my mothers sharp tongue and quick wit. My Dad's sarcasm. His handwriting. His comments and put-downs. :shock:
Love 'em while ya got 'em!
dka
SoWal Insider
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
My mother, at 83, still threatens me with that one. I've said this before and I'll say it again. Parents never grow old or die. They take over your body and soul in a slow form of possession.:roll:
I lost my dad a few years ago at 80, and ever since I've been clipping coupons, complaining about "highway robbery", have inherited his laugh, snort, belch and what not. I've pre-inherited my mothers sharp tongue and quick wit. My Dad's sarcasm. His handwriting. His comments and put-downs. :shock:
Love 'em while ya got 'em!
dka
So true.
fartblossom
:clap_1: :clap_1: very good bb !
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