Kids Write About the Sea

1) This is a picture of an octopus.
It has eight testicles.
(Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls.
(James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an
Island. If you don't have sea all round
you, you are incontinent
(Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big
teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's
not my friend no more.
(Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an ahole on
the top of its head.
(Billy age 8)

6) My uncle goes out in his boat with pots,
and comes back with crabs.
(Millie age 6)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the
trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes,
when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would
whistle to make the wind come. My brother
said they would have been better off eating
beans.
(William age 7)

8) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I
like their shiny tails. And how on earth do
mermaids get pregnant? Like, really?
(Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby
brother is always screaming and being sick,
my Dad keeps shouting at my Mom, and my big
sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think
what to write.
(Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.
Electric eels can give you a shock. They have
to live in caves under the sea where I think
they have to plug themselves into chargers.
(Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very
cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under
the water. Two divers can't go down alone,
so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

13) On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She
fell off when she was going very fast. She
says she won't do it again because water
fired right up her fat ass.
(Jule age 7)