Lawyers

kathydwells · 2006-06-14T21:12:52.000Z

[font=Courier New]Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.[/font] [font=Courier New]In a trial,a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his[/font][font=Courier New] first[/font][font=Courier New] witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached [/font][font=Courier New]her and[/font][font=Courier New] asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"[/font] [font=Courier New]She responded, "Why, yes,I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known [/font][font=Courier New]you [/font][font=Courier New]since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big[/font] [font=Courier New]disappointment to me. [/font] [font=Courier New]You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk [/font][font=Courier New]about[/font][font=Courier New] them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you [/font][font=Courier New]haven't the [/font][font=Courier New]brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a [/font][font=Courier New]two-bit [/font][font=Courier New]paper pusher. Yes, I know you."[/font] [font=Courier New]The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,he pointed[/font] [font=Courier New]across the[/font][font=Courier New] room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"[/font] [font=Courier New]She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he [/font][font=Courier New]was a[/font][font=Courier New] youngster, too. He's lazy,bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. [/font] [font=Courier New]He can't[/font][font=Courier New] build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one [/font][font=Courier New]of[/font][font=Courier New] the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his [/font][font=Courier New]wife with[/font][font=Courier New] three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,I[/font][font=Courier New] know him."[/font] [font=Courier New]The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to[/font][font=Courier New] approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of [/font][font=Courier New]you idiots asks[/font][font=Courier New] her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."[/font]

kathydwells kathydwells avatar

kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined Dec 20, '04View profile MessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname

Jun 14, '06 · 4:12 PM279

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial,a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes,I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me.

You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do,he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy,bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes,I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."