Looking for married couples to share their secrets

29 years The best piece of advice I have ever been given. In a discussion with my brother-in-law, and he said, "We treat our friends better than we treat our spouses...we make comments to our spouse or treat them in a way that we would never do to a friend." That really stuck!! So..... Treat your spouse better than you would treat your friend.

I would say the best advice is not to meet on a reality TV show. Like The Bachelor. I am hoping these girls are just looking for fame, and not really looking for lasting marriage on a TV show.

It was 31 years married for us this year. The best advice I can give is: Never go to bed mad. Not only do you not sleep, you are also in a crummy mood in the morning.

Dating 25 years, married 17-yes to the same person. I know we are very lucking to have found each other, but it is hard work. Nothing worth anything comes easy in life. Make time for each other! Find a sitter and get out of town-we prefer Sowal.

weddingeditor....don't let these crazies scare you...most of them are very happily married...Miss Kitty is the best one for this...just go to SoWal by yourself 4 times a year for 1 month each time and you have a grayt marriage! (with a little NYC and Italy thrown in there as together trips) (OH...and not to mention that Kitty is an amazing lady!!!!!! )
I was married 29 years...was pretty happy, had no where else to grow, and now I am happily single and plan to stay that way until I do not have to settle.
Maybe that is the key to a good marriage....not settling for less than what you desire..........

weddingeditor,

One thing NOT to say to your wife when she's walking down the stairs in the morning,

"Wow. Your hair looks evil."

26 yrs I dont think we have any real secrets to a long marriage ,I just found the right person for me and she finds a way to tolerate me !!!!. One thing i like to say is it's okay to go to bed mad just don't wake up that way.

I got a really cute email that says how it really works .
there was a elderly couple on the beach in Hawaii celebrating their 60th anniversary and someone asked them how they stayed together so long and he explained to them when they were on their Honeymoon they went to the Grand canyon and went on the mule ride along the steep canyon walls, well the mule slipped and scared the wife so she bends over and whispers in it's ear that's once!!, shortly he slipped again the wife whispered that's twice. then he slipped again!!! so the wife got off pulled out a gun and shot the mule dead!!. the husband freaked and yelled at her what the heck did you do that for are you crazy!!!!, so she whispered in his ear


THATS ONCE!!!!!!!

ps my wife knows how to handle a gun ,thats my secret

have a great day dogflyguy

one last thing; NEVER FORGET YOUR INTERNET WIFE/FAMILY

weddingeditor....don't let these crazies scare you...most of them are very happily married...Miss Kitty is the best one for this...just go to SoWal by yourself 4 times a year for 1 month each time and you have a grayt marriage! (with a little NYC and Italy thrown in there as together trips) (OH...and not to mention that Kitty is an amazing lady!!!!!! )
I was married 29 years...was pretty happy, had no where else to grow, and now I am happily single and plan to stay that way until I do not have to settle.
Maybe that is the key to a good marriage....not settling for less than what you desire..........

i agree, communication is the key,. my first wife always said i didnt listen to her enough, or somethin like that......

Hmm. MrsSvelte & I will be married 40 years next April (plus 2 more dating). It has not always been easy and there have been a few bumps (or more)along the way. Clearly, most people change over time and change can be uncomfortable and challenging. In our case, changes have been accommodated and we are bascially happier than ever.

Keys to success in our relationship: respect, trust, communication (I'm not so good at this), empathy, shared belief in core values, and simply a fundamental caring for one's partner.

Hmm. MrsSvelte & I will be married 40 years next April (plus 2 more dating). It has not always been easy and there have been a few bumps (or more)along the way. Clearly, most people change over time and change can be uncomfortable and challenging. In our case, changes have been accommodated and we are bascially happier than ever.

Keys to success in our relationship: respect, trust, communication (I'm not so good at this), empathy, shared belief in core values, and simply a fundamental caring for one's partner.

Two months of dating...that's the way to go...!

Two YEARS - check the time frame.

Two YEARS - check the time frame.

My bad! Two "more," not two "months."

My parents actually dated for 9 weeks before they got engaged, and got married less than 3 months after that. 42 years...

one last thing; NEVER FORGET YOUR INTERNET WIFE/FAMILY

Exactly...we may have to put a hurtin' on you......

i could have been happily single for the rest of my life, if i didn't meet somebody that i wanted to be married to. the same is true for my husband.

after 15 years of marriage i would say that when i got married i wasn't sure if i wanted to be with him forever, i just knew i didn't want him to leave. still can't live without him. i agree it's the little things and thinking of each other first

i think the secret is to have your own identity, but be willing to share your life. i don't get these people who feel obligated to be married but vacation with their buddies and only talk about their deepest secrets with their friends. i think it would be difficult to be married if you were just distant roomates or were playing some kind of societal roles instead of getting to be yourself. if you marry the right person, you will always get to be yourself and you will always live with your very best friend!

also, don't be afraid to fight, if you really love each other a little confrontation is not the end of the world supressing stuff however, will doom your marriage eventually! and don't be afraid to makeup either!

most importantly, never let your husband leave the house with a loaded gun... that's a metaphor by the way....a very adult metaphor.

most importantly, never let your husband leave the house with a loaded gun... that's a metaphor by the way....a very adult metaphor.

LOL!

I was about to point out that my hub leaves every day with a loaded gun, but then it dawned on me. :funn:

It is also helpful that both spouses be secure in knowing that when the wife's back and elbow :angry: both hurt, it is ok for the husband to clean the rifle himself, in order to avoid a dangerous misfire later.

I'm enjoying this thread!

Just celebrated 12 years August 20 - and only dated 6 months before we got hitched :roll:

Our secret? We give each other plenty of space to be ourselves. I say as much as I can "you are right", even if it kills me to do so (I found out that it really isn't important to be "right" all the time in conversation). And I don't think it's been mentioned but here I go - keep things spicy in the relationship.

:funn: :funn: :funn: :funn: Heee heeee!!!! is that why it was THE FIRST WIFE????

i agree, communication is the key,. my first wife always said i didnt listen to her enough, or somethin like that......[/quote]

My parents dated for about 3 or 4 months and will have been married 59 years on October 16th. Talk about being married for a long time. They both have obviously done something right all these years. But my mother has had to put up with a lot over the past couple of years having to deal with my dad's Alzheimers.

LOL!

I was about to point out that my hub leaves every day with a loaded gun, but then it dawned on me. :funn:

It is also helpful that both spouses be secure in knowing that when the wife's back and elbow :angry: both hurt, it is ok for the husband to clean the rifle himself, in order to avoid a dangerous misfire later.

or when there's a small load of laundry, it can be certainly be done by hand vs. running the whole washer.

Or you can take turns cleaning weapons like me and Mrs biff do

it always brings out excellent communication!!!!!!!!


honey; did you remember to load my extra magazines? the 50 round 9mm for my MP5; and can you pack me a lunch as well??

LOL!

I was about to point out that my hub leaves every day with a loaded gun, but then it dawned on me. :funn:

It is also helpful that both spouses be secure in knowing that when the wife's back and elbow :angry: both hurt, it is ok for the husband to clean the rifle himself, in order to avoid a dangerous misfire later.

Seperate closets? After I dragged my husband out of his we don't need seperate closets as we can share all of our clothes (without embarassment [sometimes]).

Seriously though, no matter how mad you are at one another never deny the other a return on an "I Love You".

Married almost 11 and together for 13

I once asked one of my mum's friends (who happened to be a marriage therapist and had counseled hundreds of couples in her life) what did she think successful couples did. Her answer was:

60% convergence and 40% divergence.

Convergence is necessary for core values, finances, child raising, work, ethics, etc... but having divergent interests and one's own hobbies, friends, etc that contribute to one's validation is critical for self love and respect. It is obviously important to support your partner's 40% but one does not have to constantly be always aiming for agreement.

Works for us.

Seperate closets? After I dragged my husband out of his we don't need seperate closets as we can share all of our clothes (without embarassment [sometimes]).

If I had a husband I wouldn't want him stretching out my sweaters.