While in China, a man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he awakes one morning to find his prized possession covered with bright green and purple spots. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results.
The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, "I've got bad news for you, you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost
unheard of here. We know very little about it." The man looks a little perplexed and says, "Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc."
The doctor answers, "I'm sorry, there's no known cure. Amputation is the only answer." The man screams in horror, "Absolutely not! I want a second opinion." The doctor replies, "Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but I assure you that surgery is your only choice."
The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines him and proclaims, "Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Vely rare disease."
The guy says to the doctor, "Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My doctor wants to operate and perform an amputation.!" The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs, "Stupid Amelican docta, always want to opelate.
Make more money that way. No need to opelate!"
"Oh, thank God!" the man replies.
"Yes," says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait two weeks. Faw off by itself!"
kathydwellskathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined View profileMessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname
kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined View profileMessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname951 views
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Miss KittyMiss KittyMeow47,011 postsJoined View profileMessageMeow
Miss KittyMeow47,011 postsJoined View profileMessageMeow:yikes:...:floor:...:wave:
DDDDSoWal Expertgrapevine, tx. /On the road to SoWal23,871 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Expert
DDSoWal Expertgrapevine, tx. /On the road to SoWal23,871 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Expert:floor::yikes::funn:
Cheering472Cheering472SoWal Insider5,295 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Insider
Cheering472SoWal Insider5,295 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Insider:floor:
MermaidMermaidpicky7,871 postsJoined View profileMessagepicky
An economical doctor!!! :floor:
Teresa ClineTeresa ClineBeach FanaticPoint Washington, Florida795 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic
Teresa ClineBeach FanaticPoint Washington, Florida795 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic:funn::funn::clap:
BiffBiffBeach FanaticBedFord Falls3,255 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic
:funn:
Matt JMatt JSWGB24,862 postsJoined View profileMessageSWGB
Matt JSWGB24,862 postsJoined View profileMessageSWGBFunny, but ouch!
GIjoGIjoBeach FanaticSan Francisco, CA571 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic
GIjoBeach FanaticSan Francisco, CA571 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic:floor::floor::funn::clap::clap:
drunkkenartistdrunkkenartistBeach FanaticSunny Hills, FL1,733 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic
drunkkenartistBeach FanaticSunny Hills, FL1,733 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach FanaticI just crossed my legs.:funn::clap::rolling::lolabove:😀:yikes:
audieaudiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined View profileMessagefartblossom
audiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined View profileMessagefartblossom:clap: vewy funny
sunspotbabysunspotbabySoWal InsiderSanta Rosa Beach5,000 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Insider
sunspotbabySoWal InsiderSanta Rosa Beach5,000 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Insider😀Monday funny even funny on Tuesday:floor:
sunspotbabysunspotbabySoWal InsiderSanta Rosa Beach5,000 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Insider
sunspotbabySoWal InsiderSanta Rosa Beach5,000 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal InsiderA cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit,
so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson.
I studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.
Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.
Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
:floor:
so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson.
I studied hard and got good grades.
When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.
Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.
Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.
Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
:floor:
TeresaTeresaSoWal GuideSouth Walton, FL30,972 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Guide
TeresaSoWal GuideSouth Walton, FL30,972 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Guide:lolabove::floor::funn:
I like the theme of these jokes.:wave:
I like the theme of these jokes.:wave:
Edited
RitaRitamargarita brocoliaDune Allen Beach5,207 postsJoined View profileMessagemargarita brocolia
Ritamargarita brocoliaDune Allen Beach5,207 postsJoined View profileMessagemargarita brocolia#151
.
Not a good way to start the week for Mr. Potatohead!
:funn:
Not a good way to start the week for Mr. Potatohead!
:funn:
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