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To: God From: The Dog

DD avatar
DDSoWal Expert
916 views1
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?


Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?


Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?


Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?


Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?


Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.


Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?


Dear God: I will try to do better so I can go to heaven. I promise...


1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.


2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.


3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.


4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.


5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.


6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.


7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.


8. I will not bite the officer' s hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.


9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.


10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".


11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.


12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.


13. I will not throw up in the car.


14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.


15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.


16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


​
And, finally, My last question . . .


Dear God: Why do humans only have 10 Commandments and dogs have 16?





P.S. When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

😀

Replies

22
kathydwells avatar
kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname
#2
I have loved this for a long time. Thanks for posting so I could read it again!
DD avatar
DDSoWal ExpertAuthor
#3
Oops! Didn't know it had been posted before. :oops:
Miss Kitty avatar
Miss KittyMeow
#4
I haven't seen it! :clap_1: I love dogs!!!!
DD avatar
DDSoWal ExpertAuthor
#5
I haven't seen it! :clap_1: I love dogs!!!!

I know you do....enjoy!😀
Allifunn avatar
AllifunnFunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#6
these were so sweet!!!!:wub:
audie avatar
audiefartblossom
#7
makes me want to kiss my dog !
Jdarg avatar
JdargSoWal Expert
#8
My dogs must already be in heaven, since they have many of the privileges and things on this list now!:bang:


:wub: :wub: I am the world's largest face towel.
iwishiwasthere avatar
iwishiwasthereBeach Fanatic
#9
My dogs must already be in heaven, since they have many of the privileges and things on this list now!:bang:


:wub: :wub: I am the world's largest face towel.

Yes, my family believes the dogs are loved the best.

Thanks for posting this as I had not seen it before. I am sure if dogs could talk they would agree.
Miss Kitty avatar
Miss KittyMeow
#10
Yes, my family believes the dogs are loved the best.

Thanks for posting this as I had not seen it before. I am sure if dogs could talk they would agree.

Don't you wish so hard that they could talk to you for just a minute????? :clap_1:
John R avatar
John Rneeds to get out more
#11
my girls, a couple of minutes ago, after i read the letter.

jessie and sadie
Jdarg avatar
JdargSoWal Expert
#12
my girls, a couple of minutes ago, after i read the letter.

jessie and sadie

You must take their picture often- they seem to know what to do! Very pretty puppies!
John R avatar
John Rneeds to get out more
#13
You must take their picture often- they seem to know what to do! Very pretty puppies!

how i wish it was that easy. jessie is around 14+ years old, and doesn't do much she doesn't want to. she was supposed to be sitting for this, but she's kind of stiff these days. she had to dragged over next to sadie. sadie, on the other hand is so rambunctious, that any command sems to be for her. when jessie is asked to come, sadie will come, etc. you can imagine the fun.

i need to get more, so they actually exist. i have a bunch of jessie that are on paper from her mtn days, but digital is so (in)convienient in regards to storage. when a computer dies, so do all the images. blah, blah...

next pics will be when sadie gets her summer 'do'

jr
Allifunn avatar
AllifunnFunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#14
your girls have soulful eyes JR
RudyjohnSoWal Insider
#15
Wow! I love this and have never read this before. Thanks!

Also, love the pix of Jessie and Sadie. :wub:
DD avatar
DDSoWal ExpertAuthor
#16
JohnR-your girls are precious!

Miss Kitty: Oh, yes, I do wish they could talk to us! I talk to Maggie all the time about everything and she looks at me as if she's going to answer any minute!
kathydwells avatar
kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname
#17
OMG John R. What beautiful girls you have!!!!! Their faces are so precious!!! Thanks for posting their pics!!!!
seagrovelover avatar
seagroveloverlittle sugar
#18
Oh I just loved this :wub: my little Duke boy is at the vet today getting neutered........I miss him already :(
Miss Kitty avatar
Miss KittyMeow
#19
Oh I just loved this :wub: my little Duke boy is at the vet today getting neutered........I miss him already :(

Good luck Duke! Is he getting those neuticals????
kathydwells avatar
kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname
#20
Oh I just loved this :wub: my little Duke boy is at the vet today getting neutered........I miss him already :(

He will do great girlfriend. My Buddy did just fine. I couldn't even tell he had anything done the way he acted. Well I could tell because there were two obvious "things" missing, but that was it. Give that Duke a kiss for me when he comes home!!!!

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