Tuesday morning funnies

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren?t as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men....

Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the **** out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.


The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough.It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get in the end of it? A
death.What's that, a bonus?

I think the life cycle is all backwards.
(1) You should die first, you know, start out dead, get it out of the
way. You wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day.
(2) You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension,then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.
(3) You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your
retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you're generally promiscuous (hey,you've only got a few years left, what's the big deal?!?) and you get ready for High School.
(4) Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have
no responsibilities, and, finally, you become a baby;
(5) The last step, you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully
with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap,larger quarters
everyday, and finish off as an orgasm! :lolabove: