What do you expect from such simple creatures? ;-)
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
kathydwellskathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined View profileMessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname
kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined View profileMessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname717 views
Replies
15
CastlesOfSandCastlesOfSandBeach Fanatic2,486 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic
CastlesOfSandBeach Fanatic2,486 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach FanaticSooooo true!!! :lolabove:
CilCilBeach FanaticAmelia Island, FL1,491 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach Fanatic
CilBeach FanaticAmelia Island, FL1,491 postsJoined View profileMessageBeach FanaticWow, for as long is it is, that list was staggeringly spot on!
The only ones I take issue with are the suitcase one, but I suppose I am a rare bird for being female and a light packer, plus I've been to some horrid restrooms cuz sometimes ya just gotta go.
The rest, to me, are pure gold.
The only ones I take issue with are the suitcase one, but I suppose I am a rare bird for being female and a light packer, plus I've been to some horrid restrooms cuz sometimes ya just gotta go.
The rest, to me, are pure gold.
Smiling JOeSmiling JOeSoWal Expert31,643 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Expert
Smiling JOeSoWal Expert31,643 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal ExpertCil, I love your avatar!
Darlene, thanks for the reminder, " A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase." I almost forgot to pack for my trip. :oops: When going on vacation, I tend to pack more crap for my dogs than for me. That has changed from not too many years ago when I packed everything, just in case.
Darlene, thanks for the reminder, " A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase." I almost forgot to pack for my trip. :oops: When going on vacation, I tend to pack more crap for my dogs than for me. That has changed from not too many years ago when I packed everything, just in case.
JdargJdargSoWal Expert18,040 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Expert
JdargSoWal Expert18,040 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal ExpertCil, I love your avatar!
Darlene, thanks for the reminder, " A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase." I almost forgot to pack for my trip. :oops: When going on vacation, I tend to pack more crap for my dogs than for me. That has changed from not too many years ago when I packed everything, just in case.
Don't forget to "do" your nails with the pocketknife before your trip. Also, get at least one well-rendered belch in as well!
seagroveloverseagroveloverlittle sugarSt Louis Missouri2,984 postsJoined View profileMessagelittle sugar
seagroveloverlittle sugarSt Louis Missouri2,984 postsJoined View profileMessagelittle sugarVery, Very TRUE!!!!!!!! :clap_1: :clap_1: :clap_1:
TeresaTeresaSoWal GuideSouth Walton, FL30,984 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Guide
TeresaSoWal GuideSouth Walton, FL30,984 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal GuideI've seen this before, and love it, especially:
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
:funn:
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
:funn:
TeresaTeresaSoWal GuideSouth Walton, FL30,984 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Guide
TeresaSoWal GuideSouth Walton, FL30,984 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal GuideCil, I love your avatar!
I adore Cil's avatar too - very interactive!
but Uncle Smiling Joseph - what's the deal with your signature / quote of Ms Kitty? spill the story - or is it top secret? :idontno:
audieaudiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined View profileMessagefartblossom
audiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined View profileMessagefartblossomi think i may want to be a man !
Smiling JOeSmiling JOeSoWal Expert31,643 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Expert
Smiling JOeSoWal Expert31,643 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Expertbut Uncle Smiling Joseph - what's the deal with your signature / quote of Ms Kitty? spill the story - or is it top secret? :idontno:
Good question. I heard only part of the conversation. :funn:
Smiling JOeSmiling JOeSoWal Expert31,643 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal Expert
Smiling JOeSoWal Expert31,643 postsJoined View profileMessageSoWal ExpertDarlene, you forgot to add that men don't have to endure the pain of waxing our bikini line. :floor:
Miss KittyMiss KittyMeow47,011 postsJoined View profileMessageMeow
Miss KittyMeow47,011 postsJoined View profileMessageMeowI adore Cil's avatar too - very interactive!
but Uncle Smiling Joseph - what's the deal with your signature / quote of Ms Kitty? spill the story - or is it top secret? :idontno:
You know my life is an open book! No secrets here! I was explaining how funny it was that I knew so much about the basketball games...my son had them on when he was home last week for SB. I made the comment that I had become quite "intimate" with basketball. One thing I am sure you have learned about me....you never know what will come out of my big mouth next! :blink:
Miss KittyMiss KittyMeow47,011 postsJoined View profileMessageMeow
Miss KittyMeow47,011 postsJoined View profileMessageMeowCil, I love your avatar!
Darlene, thanks for the reminder, " A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase." I almost forgot to pack for my trip. :oops: When going on vacation, I tend to pack more crap for my dogs than for me. That has changed from not too many years ago when I packed everything, just in case.
When do you leave? Please come back all refreshed so you can endure another kayak trip!!! Molly still wants to meet you!
kathydwellskathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined View profileMessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameAuthor
kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined View profileMessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameAuthorI've seen this before, and love it, especially:
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
:funn:
I know, FTLOG what did EVE do that was so bad that we as woman have to deal with issues such as this. Picture this, I have blonde hair, and I am very fair. So this is how I know when I need to go and pluck, when my son say's "Mom, GOD, look at that hair on your lip, (or chin, or wherever the hell it is growing at the time)". My problem is, I can't see the damn thing!!! I have to reach up and feel it so I know where it is. Add to the fact that I am 44, and my near vision is not what it used be, so now I have to use the friggen magnifying side of my makeup mirror to try and see the stray "mustache hair(s)" that are all of a sudden growing on my face!!! I used to watch my aunt pluck them from her face and I swore I was NEVER going to do that. Well, touche' here I am, and I am plucking away!!!!!!
KimmifunnKimmifunnFunnkaliciousHollyhood9,699 postsJoined View profileMessageFunnkalicious
KimmifunnFunnkaliciousHollyhood9,699 postsJoined View profileMessageFunnkaliciousI know, FTLOG what did EVE do that was so bad that we as woman have to deal with issues such as this. Picture this, I have blonde hair, and I am very fair. So this is how I know when I need to go and pluck, when my son say's "Mom, GOD, look at that hair on your lip, (or chin, or wherever the hell it is growing at the time)". My problem is, I can't see the damn thing!!! I have to reach up and feel it so I know where it is. Add to the fact that I am 44, and my near vision is not what it used be, so now I have to use the friggen magnifying side of my makeup mirror to try and see the stray "mustache hair(s)" that are all of a sudden growing on my face!!! I used to watch my aunt pluck them from her face and I swore I was NEVER going to do that. Well, touche' here I am, and I am plucking away!!!!!!:funn: OMG. You are so my hero. This may be the funniest thing I've read...ever!
audieaudiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined View profileMessagefartblossom
audiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined View profileMessagefartblossomI know, FTLOG what did EVE do that was so bad that we as woman have to deal with issues such as this. Picture this, I have blonde hair, and I am very fair. So this is how I know when I need to go and pluck, when my son say's "Mom, GOD, look at that hair on your lip, (or chin, or wherever the hell it is growing at the time)". My problem is, I can't see the damn thing!!! I have to reach up and feel it so I know where it is. Add to the fact that I am 44, and my near vision is not what it used be, so now I have to use the friggen magnifying side of my makeup mirror to try and see the stray "mustache hair(s)" that are all of a sudden growing on my face!!! I used to watch my aunt pluck them from her face and I swore I was NEVER going to do that. Well, touche' here I am, and I am plucking away!!!!!!
i can so sympathize with you. nothing like trying to pluck those stray hairs that grow to 6 inches long overnight when you can't see them ! i was trying to do my eyebrows last night and gave up.
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