Tebow as a con artist?

Let me guess, Tebow performed the appendectomy

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  [*]Tim Tebow can eat five times his body weight in tigers.
  [*]Tim Tebow won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.
  [*]Tim Tebow could drink 24 gallons of milk in an hour without throwing up if wanted. He chooses not to because the calcium would make his bones so strong he would instantly kill anyone he touched.
  [*]Tim Tebow' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  [*]What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.
  [*]Tim Tebow ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  [*]Tim Tebow is helping Santa this year, no reindeers needed and he'll be finished before midnight.
  [*]When Tebow scores a touchdown it's worth 7 points without the extra point kick, but he always gives one back in the spirit of being a missionary.
  [*]Tim Tebow can get Chick-Fil-A on Sundays.
  [*]Companies that produce solar powered products are studying Tim Tebow because he can always find daylight.
  [*]If at first you don't succeed...you are not Tim Tebow.
  [*]Michigan players have been caught around campus running into brick walls and trying to bring down lampposts. Unfortunately they will still not be prepared to tackle Tim Tebow.
  [*]When Tim Tebow does push ups, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the world down.
  [*]When the bogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks the closet for Tim Tebow.
  [*]People with amnesia still remember Tim Tebow.
  [*]Tim Tebow's family once threw him a surprise party. Once.
  [*]Tim Tebow hits blackjack with just one card.
  [*]The only reason you're still conscious is because Tim Tebow hasn't stiff-armed you in the face.
  [*]When Tim Tebow was a kid, he made his mom finish his vegetables.
  [*]Superman's only weakness is kryptonite. Tim Tebow laughs at Superman for even HAVING a weakness.
  [*]Tim Tebow doesn't do pushups. Instead, he pushes the earth down.
  [*]Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas.
  [*]Tim Tebow counted to infinity. Twice.
  [*]In the beginning there was nothing. Then Tim Tebow stiff-armed that nothing in the head and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
  [*]When life gives Tim Tebow lemons, he uses them to kill terrorists. Tim Tebow hates lemonade.
  [*]When Google can't find something, it asks Tim Tebow for help.
  [*]What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.
  [*]Tim Tebow has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.
  [*]Tim Tebow once stiff-armed a horse. That animal became what is now known as the giraffe.
  [*]Tim Tebow is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  [*]Tim Tebow is the reason Waldo is hiding
  [*]When Tim Tebow wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
  [*]When taking the SAT, write "Tim Tebow" for every answer. You will score more than 1600.
  [*]Tim Tebow can dribble a football.
  [*]Tim Tebow was once asked to repeat himself. The last thing that person ever heard was the whooshing sound of a stiff-arm.
  [*]Tim Tebow can kick start a car.
  [*]Tim Tebow gets called for roughing the tackler.
  [*]When Tebow spikes the ball, he strikes oil.
  [*]Barry Bonds didnt take steroids, he injected tim tebows saliva.
  [*]Tim Tebow scares the grim reaper to death.
  [*]You can lead a horse to water, but Tim Tebow can make him drink.
  [*]Tim Tebow doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  [*]Tim Tebow can get breakfast at McDonald's after 10:30 A.M.
  [*]Tim tebow once sneezed at the line of scrimmage and knocked over a linebacker.
  [*]The Heisman Trophy won Tim Tebow.
  [*]David didn’t beat Goliath, Tim Tebow did.
  [*]When Tim Tebow drives the lights automatically turn green because he can’t be stopped.
  [*]Tim Tebow’s the reason vampires don’t come out during the day.
  [*]Police clocked Tim Tebow going 50 in a 25, only they couldn’t ticket him because he was running.
  [*]Jimmy Hoffa is buried under the Meadowlands because he tried to tackle Tim Tebow and got run over.
  [*]Tim Tebow wins a golf scramble, by himself.
  [*]The speed limit on the University of Florida campus is 20 because that’s how many defenders Tim Tebow runs over on one play.
  [*]Yoda never heard of the force until he met Tim Tebow.
  [*]Rome wasn’t built in a day because Tim Tebow wasn’t born yet.
  [*]When Tim Tebow eats, he doesn’t have to wait 30 minutes to swim.
  [*]Freddy Krueger is scared to sleep because he might meet Tim Tebow in his dream.
  [*]Tim Tebow’s number is 15 because that’s how many players it takes to tackle him.
  [*]A meteor didn’t kill the dinosaurs; Tim Tebow did in a pickup football game.
  [*]Referees created instant replay so they could admire Tim Tebow more than once.
  [*]College football has the BCS instead of a playoff so only one team has to face Tim Tebow.
  [*]Area 51 doesn’t study aliens, it studies Tim Tebow.
  [*]"Godzilla" won't face Tim Tebow because Tim's too tough.
  [*]Sony created PlayStation 3 because it was the only way to fit Tim Tebow’s greatness onto one screen.
  [*]Ponce de Leon wasn’t looking for the fountain of youth; he was looking for Tim Tebow.
  [*]“I am Legend” isn’t about the last man on Earth; it’s about Tim Tebow.
  [*]Tim Tebow can eat just one Lay’s Potato Chip. Don’t tell Tim what he can’t do.
  [*]The recent earthquake off the coast of Florida measured 6.0 on the Richter scale, or .024 Tim Tebows.
  [*]Every time you hear a bell ring, an angel got a Tebow autograph.
  [*]There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Tim Tebow lives in Florida.
  [*]When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Tim Tebow signal.
  [*]God has a Tim Tebow complex.
  [*]Tim Tebow invented the cesarian section when he jumped out of his moms stomach, he thought it was fourth and one.
  [*]Tim Tebow saved the manatees. Then he stiff armed them back on the endandered species list so they wouldnt get cocky.
  [*]Tim Tebow invented the pedestal. Then he invented the stiff arm to have something to knock people off it.
  [*]A spike in Tim Tebow stiff arms caused the tooth fairy to go broke in 2007.
  [*]An Ohio St Fan once told a joke at Tim Tebow's expense... well we all know what happened next.
  [*]Tim Tebow told Steve Irwin not to mess with stingrays.
  [*]You don't hit Tim Tebow, Tim Tebow hits you!
  [*]Tim Tebow doesn't get sacked. Tim Tebow sacks defensive linemen.
  [*]Tebow doesn't throw interceptions, he throws the ball to you so he can hit you on the return.
  [*]Tim Tebow built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Tebow met all three bullets with his stiff arm, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  [*]Tim Tebow can touch MC Hammer.
  [*]At birth, Tim Tebow came out arms first so he could stiff arm the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Tim Tebow but Tim Tebow.
  [*]Tim Tebow sleeps with a night light. Not because Tim Tebow is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Tim Tebow.
  [*]The quickest way to a man's heart is with Tim Tebow's forearm.
  [*]Ray Lewis once was asked if he'd like to run full speed at Tim Tebow, and he said "No".

Where's the part about him wearing jorts? And Gator Crocs?

I think Kurt has a man crush, what do you people think?