post one if you got one...no joke too cheesy!!!
The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.
If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments.
My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.
If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.
This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a down payment, get a 1st and 2nd mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.
The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing.
Replies
13
SoWal Insider
"No is a great time to buy real-estate!"
SoWal Insider
was that a typo, or Fruedian slip?
Beach Lover
My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he'd still be there
today if the Governor hadn't pardoned him.
Why do you have your front door leading right into the dining room? So my relatives won't have to waste any
time.
The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.
How much are they asking for your rent now? Oh, about twice a day.
I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose.
Realtor sign--We have "lots" to be thankful for.
Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there.
The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.
There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.
If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments.
My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.
I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.
Did you hear about Robin Hood's house? It has a little John.
My agent was always smiling. I didn't think anybody could have that many teeth without being a barracuda.
If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.
Houses today don't have enough closet space. Sure they do. They're just called guest bedrooms.
Trivia: The floors of buildings are called stories because early European builders used to paint picture stories on
the sides of their houses. Each floor had a different story.
A lot of homes have been spoiled by inferior desecrators.--Frank Lloyd Wright
I bought a two story house. One story before I bought, and another after.
The house is only 5 minutes from shopping . . .if you've got an airplane.
This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a downpayment, get a 1st and 2nd
mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.
Home is where the mortgage is.
A housewarming is the final call for those who haven't sent a wedding present
The best part of a real estate bargain is the neighbor.
The house was more covered with mortgages than with paint.
Home: A place when you go there they have to take you in.
Charity: A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
A man's home is his castle. That's how it seems when he pays taxes on it.
Housebroke--What you are after buying a house.
Sign next to FSBO-We shoot every third agent and the 2nd one just left.
This house has every new convenience except low payments.
The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing.
They have an all electric home. Everything in it is charged.
My buyers want a new home on the outskirts---of their income, that is.
A Happy Home is a place where each spouse entertains the possibility that the other may be right though neither
believes it.
By the time you pay for a home in the suburbs, it isn't.
A Modern home is a place where a switch controls everything but the kids, and it has gadgets to do everything
except make the payments.
The house has a wall to wall carpet and back to wall payment.
A typical home has a TV set that is adjusted better than the kids.
House problem: The oven is self-cleaning, but the kids aren't.
Our new house has one down payment and 240 darn payments.
Homesickness What you feel every month when the mortgage is due.
today if the Governor hadn't pardoned him.
Why do you have your front door leading right into the dining room? So my relatives won't have to waste any
time.
The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement.
How much are they asking for your rent now? Oh, about twice a day.
I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose.
Realtor sign--We have "lots" to be thankful for.
Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there.
The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one.
There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage.
If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments.
My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay.
I listed a maintenance free house. In the last 25 years there hasn't been any maintenance.
Did you hear about Robin Hood's house? It has a little John.
My agent was always smiling. I didn't think anybody could have that many teeth without being a barracuda.
If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut the grass.
Houses today don't have enough closet space. Sure they do. They're just called guest bedrooms.
Trivia: The floors of buildings are called stories because early European builders used to paint picture stories on
the sides of their houses. Each floor had a different story.
A lot of homes have been spoiled by inferior desecrators.--Frank Lloyd Wright
I bought a two story house. One story before I bought, and another after.
The house is only 5 minutes from shopping . . .if you've got an airplane.
This country is great. It's the only place where you can borrow money for a downpayment, get a 1st and 2nd
mortgage and call yourself a homeowner.
Home is where the mortgage is.
A housewarming is the final call for those who haven't sent a wedding present
The best part of a real estate bargain is the neighbor.
The house was more covered with mortgages than with paint.
Home: A place when you go there they have to take you in.
Charity: A thing that begins at home and usually stays there.
A man's home is his castle. That's how it seems when he pays taxes on it.
Housebroke--What you are after buying a house.
Sign next to FSBO-We shoot every third agent and the 2nd one just left.
This house has every new convenience except low payments.
The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing.
They have an all electric home. Everything in it is charged.
My buyers want a new home on the outskirts---of their income, that is.
A Happy Home is a place where each spouse entertains the possibility that the other may be right though neither
believes it.
By the time you pay for a home in the suburbs, it isn't.
A Modern home is a place where a switch controls everything but the kids, and it has gadgets to do everything
except make the payments.
The house has a wall to wall carpet and back to wall payment.
A typical home has a TV set that is adjusted better than the kids.
House problem: The oven is self-cleaning, but the kids aren't.
Our new house has one down payment and 240 darn payments.
Homesickness What you feel every month when the mortgage is due.
Beach Lover
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?"
The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds."
The lawyer looked puzzled. "Gee," he asked, "how did you start the flood?"
SWGB
These are the best prices I've seen in years.
Read: I get 3% and my Mercedes just died.
Beach Lover
"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his broker. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
An agent who was being paid by the week approached his broker and held up his last paycheck.
'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,' he said.
'I know,' the manager said. 'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.'
'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,' the agent answered, 'but when it gets to be a habit, I feel
I have to call it to your attention.'
A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent, "I want to sell my g@d d@#n house."
To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my f*@&ing house!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this office."
So saying, the agent goes over to the broker to tell him about her situation. They both return and the broker asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I want to sell my f*@&ing five million dollar home."
"I see," says the broker, "and this b!t@h is giving you a hard time?"
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Real Estate Agent: That's great, I'll take two of them.
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
A real estate agent walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.
"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make,
your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."
The real estate agent thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "
But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said.
"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the agent said.
Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said.
"And what is your last wish?"
"Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
An agent who was being paid by the week approached his broker and held up his last paycheck.
'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on,' he said.
'I know,' the manager said. 'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.'
'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,' the agent answered, 'but when it gets to be a habit, I feel
I have to call it to your attention.'
A crusty old man walks into a real estate office and says to an female agent, "I want to sell my g@d d@#n house."
To which the astonished female agent replies, "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"
"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to sell my f*@&ing house!"
"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this office."
So saying, the agent goes over to the broker to tell him about her situation. They both return and the broker asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"
"There's no damn problem," the man says, "I want to sell my f*@&ing five million dollar home."
"I see," says the broker, "and this b!t@h is giving you a hard time?"
Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Real Estate Agent: That's great, I'll take two of them.
A broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate office much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read 'BEST AGENTS.' He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading 'LOWEST COMMISSIONS.' The broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read: 'MAIN ENTRANCE'
A real estate agent walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared.
"I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make,
your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."
The real estate agent thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.
Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "
But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said.
"I've always wanted a Ferrari," the agent said.
Instantly a Ferrari appeared. "But your rival has just received two Ferraris," the genie said.
"And what is your last wish?"
"Well," said the salesman, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney for transplant."
Edited
Beach Lover
The Devil tells a Real Estate Agent, "Look, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any Real Estate Agent alive. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever lived."
"Well," says the Real Estate Agent, "what do I have to do in return?"
The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."
"Wait a minute," the Real Estate Agent says cautiously, "What's the catch?"
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."
The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet."
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a real estate agent. He stops working at 5:00 and he is home by 3:45!"
"Well," says the Real Estate Agent, "what do I have to do in return?"
The Devil smiles, "Well, of course you have to give me your soul," he says, "but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children's children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity."
"Wait a minute," the Real Estate Agent says cautiously, "What's the catch?"
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.
The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow."
The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet."
The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a real estate agent. He stops working at 5:00 and he is home by 3:45!"
Beach Comber
Freudian slips
...is this the place to launder freudian slips in public?
was that a typo, or Fruedian slip?
...is this the place to launder freudian slips in public?
Beach Lover
Einstien dies and goes to heaven. First person he see he asks, "Excuse me? What's your IQ"
The person replies, 280. Einstien says, great! We can talk about astro physics!
2nd person he runs into he asks the same question, what's your IQ?
The person replies, 150. Great! says Einstien, we can talk about events of the day!
3rd person he sees he once again asks about their IQ. This time the person says 45!
Einstiens says, Great! Where do you think the real estate market is headed??!!
The person replies, 280. Einstien says, great! We can talk about astro physics!
2nd person he runs into he asks the same question, what's your IQ?
The person replies, 150. Great! says Einstien, we can talk about events of the day!
3rd person he sees he once again asks about their IQ. This time the person says 45!
Einstiens says, Great! Where do you think the real estate market is headed??!!
Beach Crab
A property manager dies and soon finds himself standing in front of St. Peter. St. Peter tells him "You have a choice of going to heaven or to hell and I suggest you check them both out before deciding." So he chooses to check out hell first.
He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody's doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time.
Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around. Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formulas. Others are simply contemplative and serene. He's bored in about five minutes.
St. Peter then says to the property manager, "I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let me know your decision." The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter, "Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I've decided that I want to go to hell". So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell.
When he gets there he sees Satan whipping people and there's fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain. So he goes over to Satan and says "Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What happened?"
Satan looks at him and says "You used to be a property manager so you ought to know the answer to your own question. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you're just another resident!"
He goes down to hell and finds himself in the middle of the biggest party he has ever seen. People are dancing and drinking and doing the limbo (and nobody's doing the Macarena!). Everyone is laughing and having a great time.
Next St. Peter takes him up to heaven to look around. Everything is white and pristine. People are speaking softly about philosophy and mathematical formulas. Others are simply contemplative and serene. He's bored in about five minutes.
St. Peter then says to the property manager, "I want you to sleep on it and meet me back here in the morning to let me know your decision." The next morning he comes back and says to St. Peter, "Heaven is very nice and all, but hell looks great, so I've decided that I want to go to hell". So St. Peter puts him on the escalator down to hell.
When he gets there he sees Satan whipping people and there's fire everywhere and everyone is screaming in pain. So he goes over to Satan and says "Hey, what gives here? Yesterday I came here to check the place out and everyone had me partying and it looked like a great time. What happened?"
Satan looks at him and says "You used to be a property manager so you ought to know the answer to your own question. Yesterday you were a prospect. Today you're just another resident!"
Beach Lover
Lighten up people
Beach Lover
The trouble with owning a home is that no matter where you sit, you're looking at something you should be doing.
Beach Fanatic
1. No Carpets, Please
90% of people hate carpeting. The other 10% hate your carpeting.
2. Novels for Sale
Why don’t real estate agents read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
3. How About an IOU?
If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank 300 grand, that’s the bank’s problem.
4. I’m Kind of a Big Deal
Why didn’t the hipster real estate agent show the oceanside mansion? It was too current.
5. Real Estate Investors
A real estate investor was surprised to see that all of his houses had been broken into. After all, he is the world’s best theft detective. If there’s one thing he does best, it’s that he Sherlock Holmes.
6. Real Estate Sales
I was offered the chance to buy some real estate in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings, but it turned out to be just a pyramid selling scheme.
7. Before and After
My realtor sold me a two story house…one story before the sale, and another after.
8. Happy Realtor
What did the happy realtor put on her sign? I have lots to be thankful for.
9. Best Sellers
My bread and butter are listings with finished basements. They’re my best cellars!
10. Phone Is Ringing off the Hook
“I need a raise in my commission,” the Realtor said to her Managing Broker. “There are four other companies after me.” “Oh really?” asked the manager. “What other companies are after you?”
“The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”
11. Never Tell a Lie
A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move. His rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.
He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.
So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. Then he took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent. He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, “How many children do you have?”
He answered, “12 children.”
The agent asked “Where are the others?’
The lawyer answered, with a sad look, “They are in the cemetery with their mother.”
And that’s the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.
12. Joker Brokers
What’s a mortgage broker? A real estate agent without the sense of humor.
13. Crushing the Competition
A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read, Best Agents.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading Lowest Commissions.
The small real estate broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read, Main Entrance.
14. Picture Perfect
I’m no photographer, but I can picture you in this house.
15. Social Butterfly
You must have a killer Facebook ad strategy because you made quite the impression on me.
16. Pick-Up Artist
With curb appeal like that you’re a prime property in my heart’s MLS.
17. Last Wishes
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor, and his real estate agent to his bedside.
“Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me,” he said.
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.”
The real estate agent was aghast and said, “I’m ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.”
18. Kids These Days
The older generation’s dream was to pay off the mortgage. The younger generation’s dream is to get one.
19. Deal With the Devil
The Devil appears to a real estate agent one day and says to him, “Listen, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any other real estate agent in the world. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever walked the Earth.”
The real estate agent likes the sound of this and asks the Devil, “That sounds good. What do I have to do in return?”
The Devil smiles slyly and says, “Obviously, you have to give me your soul. But you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children’s children. In fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”
“Wait a minute,” the Real Estate Agent says cautiously. “What’s the catch?”
20. Truck Stop
Do truckers prefer houses with long haul ways?
21. Put Me to Sleep
What does an appraiser’s wife say if she can’t sleep? “Honey, tell me about your day at work.”
22. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
I finally figured out how to make a million dollars in the real estate business. You start out with two million.
23. It’s My First Time
Talking to you makes me feel like a first time homebuyer: nervous but thrilled.
24. Condo Culture
Modern Interiors Penthouse Condo Kitchen as a featured image for a piece on a real estate joke about a condo
Is the down payment to buy an apartment a condo-minimum?
25. Traffic Stop
A California Highway Patrolman pulls over a speeding motorist. He walks up to the window, and says, “Can I see your real estate license, please?”
The driver responds, “Don’t you mean my driver’s license?”
“No,” says the patrolman. “Not everyone in California has one of those.”
90% of people hate carpeting. The other 10% hate your carpeting.
2. Novels for Sale
Why don’t real estate agents read novels? Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
3. How About an IOU?
If you owe the bank $100, that’s your problem. If you owe the bank 300 grand, that’s the bank’s problem.
4. I’m Kind of a Big Deal
Why didn’t the hipster real estate agent show the oceanside mansion? It was too current.
5. Real Estate Investors
A real estate investor was surprised to see that all of his houses had been broken into. After all, he is the world’s best theft detective. If there’s one thing he does best, it’s that he Sherlock Holmes.
6. Real Estate Sales
I was offered the chance to buy some real estate in Egypt’s Valley of the Kings, but it turned out to be just a pyramid selling scheme.
7. Before and After
My realtor sold me a two story house…one story before the sale, and another after.
8. Happy Realtor
What did the happy realtor put on her sign? I have lots to be thankful for.
9. Best Sellers
My bread and butter are listings with finished basements. They’re my best cellars!
10. Phone Is Ringing off the Hook
“I need a raise in my commission,” the Realtor said to her Managing Broker. “There are four other companies after me.” “Oh really?” asked the manager. “What other companies are after you?”
“The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”
11. Never Tell a Lie
A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move. His rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.
When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.
He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers cannot and do not lie.
So, he had an idea: he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. Then he took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent. He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, “How many children do you have?”
He answered, “12 children.”
The agent asked “Where are the others?’
The lawyer answered, with a sad look, “They are in the cemetery with their mother.”
And that’s the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.
12. Joker Brokers
What’s a mortgage broker? A real estate agent without the sense of humor.
13. Crushing the Competition
A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read, Best Agents.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading Lowest Commissions.
The small real estate broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own real estate office. It read, Main Entrance.
14. Picture Perfect
I’m no photographer, but I can picture you in this house.
15. Social Butterfly
You must have a killer Facebook ad strategy because you made quite the impression on me.
16. Pick-Up Artist
With curb appeal like that you’re a prime property in my heart’s MLS.
17. Last Wishes
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor, and his real estate agent to his bedside.
“Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me,” he said.
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.”
The real estate agent was aghast and said, “I’m ashamed of both of you, I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000.”
18. Kids These Days
The older generation’s dream was to pay off the mortgage. The younger generation’s dream is to get one.
19. Deal With the Devil
The Devil appears to a real estate agent one day and says to him, “Listen, I can make you richer, more famous, and more successful than any other real estate agent in the world. In fact, I can make you the greatest agent that ever walked the Earth.”
The real estate agent likes the sound of this and asks the Devil, “That sounds good. What do I have to do in return?”
The Devil smiles slyly and says, “Obviously, you have to give me your soul. But you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children’s children. In fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”
“Wait a minute,” the Real Estate Agent says cautiously. “What’s the catch?”
20. Truck Stop
Do truckers prefer houses with long haul ways?
21. Put Me to Sleep
What does an appraiser’s wife say if she can’t sleep? “Honey, tell me about your day at work.”
22. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
I finally figured out how to make a million dollars in the real estate business. You start out with two million.
23. It’s My First Time
Talking to you makes me feel like a first time homebuyer: nervous but thrilled.
24. Condo Culture
Modern Interiors Penthouse Condo Kitchen as a featured image for a piece on a real estate joke about a condo
Is the down payment to buy an apartment a condo-minimum?
25. Traffic Stop
A California Highway Patrolman pulls over a speeding motorist. He walks up to the window, and says, “Can I see your real estate license, please?”
The driver responds, “Don’t you mean my driver’s license?”
“No,” says the patrolman. “Not everyone in California has one of those.”
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