Living Will

It say's this is Maxine's, but it could easily be mine.



I, MAXINE , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

Glass of wine
chocolate
Margarita
chocolate
Martini
Cold Beer
chocolate
Chicken fried steak
cream gravy
chocolate
Mexican food
chocolate
French fries
chocolate
Pizza
chocolate
ice cream
cup of tea
chocolate
Chocolate
Sex
Chocolate


It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubess, let the "fat lady sing". . . and call it a day!

Maxine is my American Idol.

Maxine is my American Idol.

Me too. I like that crusty ole lady. She's a hoot. Thanks Darlene!

I want to be Maxine.....oh wait...maybe I already am..

Here's another Maxine ism I absolutely LOVE!

A win-win situation:

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately....

Illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, wild animals attacking humans in Florida.

Not Me. I concentrate on solutions to problems. The result is a win-win situation.

1. Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border:clap_1:

2. Use the dirt to raise the Levies in New Orleans

3. Put the Florida Alligators in the moat.

Any other problems you need me to solve today?

Maxine

If sex has to be on the list then I'm married to a zombie.

I almost sprayed soda out my nose!! Glad I didn't though, because that just hurts!

... let the fat lady sing!

I'm with Maxine on this one. :clap_1:

OMG, that's too funny.

We showed a living will to my 99 yr. old grandfather and that's exactly what he said....well minus the sex part.
and if you looked in his fridge, you would see large like block size chunks of Hershey's chocolate.