Divorce advice

So I was supposed to stay married to my first husband who left me 2 days after having a miscarriage with our child? He told me he didn't want kids, after he had told me BEFORE we got married that he wanted a house full. THEN, 1 week after he moved out I saw him and his girlfriend who was at least 7 months pregnant with his child. Yep, I guess I should have stayed married to him to avoid the fires of hell? I don't think so. I think I will take my chances on judgement day.

Good gravy! Sounds like the two of you will be in quite different locations in the afterlife. What a scumbag!

So many of you people thought so little of the vows you took before God? Gonna be warmer than south Walton. Divorce is not an option. Instead of contemplating divorce, spend the energy working your marriage.

:nono1: :yawn:

You know that sometimes staying married is not an option. :cool:

So many of you people thought so little of the vows you took before God? Gonna be warmer than south Walton. Divorce is not an option. Instead of contemplating divorce, spend the energy working your marriage.

God also denouced adultery. I spent alot of energy on my 21 year marriage, while my husband spent his energy on chasing women. Divorce is an option sometimes, let's try not to be so judgemental. God warns against that also.

God also denouced adultery. I spent alot of energy on my 21 year marriage, while my husband spent his energy on chasing women. Divorce is an option sometimes, let's try not to be so judgemental. God warns against that also.

:clap:

No one in their right mind actually wants a divorce. Sometimes it is the only answer, however. Mine was more successful than the marriage--God knows, it has lasted longer!

Donna, I respectfully disagree with your notion that divorce laws are written by men for men. While, yes, most have probably been written by men since they've dominated the legal profession historically, I would say (at least in the State of Georgia) that divorce laws are written for women.

My personal belief is that responsible, attentive divorced dads have been rare over the years in this state (a large percentage don't pay their child support and simply disappear) so the system unduly penalizes those divorced dads who do want to be part of their kids' lives and who do pay child support in full and on-time. The percentages per-child are brutal -- and they're based on gross income so you also get to pay the taxes over and above the amount being garnished from your paycheck and going directly into your ex's bank account.

Even the state legislature has begun to acknowledge the inequity in the laws by introducing bills during the last two sessions that would balance financial responsibility more appropriately. Of course, politicians being politicians, the legislation got hung up in committee and nothing has been changed -- yet.

I paid $369,000 in child support over 16 years for two kids. I paid all medical/dental/eyewear insurance premiums for 14 years. I paid for half of their college expenses which I didn't have to do (but I would have done, anyway). I gave her 2/3 of the house and only took possessions that were clearly mine. She got $150,000 of my 401k at the time (50%) and still came after me every two years to increase the child support.

She also made every effort to alienate my kids from me (i.e., booking back-to-back camps throughout the summer so I could never exercise the two, two-week stretches of visitation that I was entitled to each summer ... saying the kids were sick on my visitation weekends ... etc.). I had to have her arrested for barging into my house once and shoving my second wife -- long after we were divorced. Somehow, the charge was quietly dismissed by an assistant prosecutor who was fired shortly afterward. (Her dad is an influential cardiologist and his connections have worked conveniently over years.)

It took four years to get divorced as she somehow found ways to legally un-do the first two signed agreements which, to this day, amazes me. (Again, thanks, Daddy.) Oh, and along the way, I spent over $70,000 in legal fees -- all this from a woman who was the one who actually filed for the divorce. We both wanted out but she did the filing.

Even after doing the math and considering all the headaches over the years, it was the best decision I ever made. I love my second wife and have been happily remarried for 13 years. So, while my circumstances likely aren't typical, I hope you can understand why I don't agree with your perspective. The system allows a vindictive woman to cause havoc. It does.

Oh, did I mention that she isn't a fundamentally happy person?

I feel your pain. I could sign my name to this story and it would be pretty accurate. The most important part is that "all's well that ends well".

Doesn't everyone know that there's no hell!!!!!! We're living in it!:lolabove:

I feel your pain. I could sign my name to this story and it would be pretty accurate. The most important part is that "all's well that ends well".

I feel your pain,but I am a woman.😀 :floor:

EVERYTHING was gone! Even my high school yearbooks, everything. Personal momentos from my childhood, my parents, etc.

Your ex stole your parents?

Ideas I've come up w/ so far:
1) Separate bank account in her name only in case he empties/freezes their joint account
2) Rent a storage locker under someone else's or a fake name to store momentos etc.
3) Figure out what the assets are/get a copy of their last tax return in case he tries to hide assets
4) Find a long term place for her and her pet to stay.

Ideas I've come up w/ so far:
1) Separate bank account in her name only in case he empties/freezes their joint account
2) Rent a storage locker under someone else's or a fake name to store mementos etc.
3) Figure out what the assets are/get a copy of their last tax return in case he tries to hide assets
4) Find a long term place for her and her pet to stay.

You are a scary guy.

Tell her to never trust that this once nice guy she married, will not turn nasty and vindictive.
When I got divorced, many, many moons ago (after a short 1yr. marriage), I left my apt. to go to work. When I returned at the end of the day, EVERYTHING was gone! Even my high school yearbooks, everything. Personal momentos from my childhood, my parents, etc. He charmed the landlord, explaining that he was moving his stuff out because of the divorce. And the weird thing is, my ex really was a nice guy. But he turned into a hateful bast**d once he realized the divorce was real. And I turned into a raving lunatic, trying to retrieve some of my personal things. The atty's were unsuccessful. I had to drop the whole thing and just get the divorce over with.

Moral of the story, divorces are rarely pleasant or reciprocal. It does reveal the disappointing side in a person.

Good luck to your friend. It will probably be the best thing she ever does.

I'm sorry you had to endure that.

You are a scary guy.

Or a woman trying to prevent the horror stories posted in this thread from happening to a friend of mine.

Your ex stole your parents?

Forgot the apostrophe. My parents' mementos that they had given me.