Thank you note etiquette

I never expect a thank you note in return for any gift. Why would you need to bring it up unless you were uncertain that the gift was delivered?

It's not necessarily gratitude I expect. I'd just like to know the gift got where it was headed.

It's not necessarily gratitude I expect. I'd just like to know the gift got where it was headed.

Gotcha. In that case, after enough days have passed without you hearing back, I would contact the recipient, and let them know that you were just checking to make sure they received the gift. I'm sure the number of days to wait may vary upon the occasion.

Everything you need to know about gifting/taking/finding/trading can be learned from Dances With Wolves.

Everything you need to know about gifting/taking/finding/trading can be learned from Dances With Wolves.

:roll::funn: I'm sure there is much truth to that.

Everything you need to know about gifting/taking/finding/trading can be learned from Dances With Wolves.

😀

i agree with sj, don't expect a thank you note, a lot of people just don't seem to do that anymore. i see nothing wrong with checking to see if they go the gift tho.

I don't like the Thank You note system. It might be because my mom keeps yelling at me because I keep forgetting to send them.

:whack:

I just noticed that one and it's one of my favs now.

I guess I'm an old grouch.
I know it's the thought that counts and we should selflessly give gifts expecting no kind of reciprocity blah blah blah.
And it's not like I go around with some sort of Miss Manners check list in my head of who has been naughty or nice.
Still, I think it's kinda sad if thankyou notes now seem to be considered quaint and passe.`
My kid got some nice checks in the mail for HS graduation and he is writing notes to each and every gift-giver.
But if a person can't be bothered with that, they could at least email or pick up the phone.

Cil, I so agree with you, totally. I hesitated to respond to this thread because I don't want to get "blessed out" for being so anal about my opinions or my .02. But I've always believed it is the right thing to do. I've even been thanked FOR my thank you notes. Anyway, it's a very minor inconvenience and sacrifice to thank the gift giver.

And potatovixen, I'd say you should send an email just to check to see if they got the gift. I live in an area where we have the worst mail system in the country so no one knows if packages have ever been received!!

Good luck!

i always send a thank you because i know how pleased and surprised i am to receive one

i always send a thank you because i know how pleased and surprised i am to receive one

I do the same. I just think of it as common courtesy. Plus, when I know that someone appreciates the gift, I feel more inclined to send them gifts in the future. (I always thought my mom was making that part up about, "If you write a thank-you note, they'll want to send you more presents." It's true, though.)

i always send a thank you because i know how pleased and surprised i am to receive one

that's true...

Particularly in the electronic world we live in, there is no greater treat than to go to the mailbox and find a hand addressed personal letter!😀 😀

Particularly in the electronic world we live in, there is no greater treat than to go to the mailbox and find a hand addressed personal letter!😀 😀

i agree - it is so nice to receive personal mail that isn't a bill !

i agree - it is so nice to receive personal mail that isn't a bill !

I love many things about the computerized era...but thankfully my parents eschew the computer/email age & my mother still writes & sends old fashioned "newsy" letters (complete w/ clippings!). Receiving one of Mom's chunky taped up envelopes in the mail is better than Christmas!

I'm a proponent of some "quaint" old fashioned niceties... like Thank You Notes, Saying Please & Thankyou, being a Gracious winner or loser... that make the world a nicer place to share with one another.

I love many things about the computerized era...but thankfully my parents eschew the computer/email age & my mother still writes & sends old fashioned "newsy" letters (complete w/ clippings!). Receiving one of Mom's chunky taped up envelopes in the mail is better than Christmas!

I'm a proponent of some "quaint" old fashioned niceties... like Thank You Notes, Saying Please & Thankyou, being a Gracious winner or loser... that make the world a nicer place to share with one another.

i agree :wub:

I was taught that you ALWAYS send a thank you note (within 2 weeks) for any gift (even a card w/ $) the gift giver didn't get to see you open.

Old relatives/family friends always get a thank you card even if they saw you open it.

Large events like weddings, graduation parties, baby showers etc. you send a thank you even if they saw you open the gift, but you have up to 3 months depending on the event.

My mother's policy is no thank you note, no more presents!

My son's birthday is tomorrow and he got a card and some $$ from a family friend on Saturday. I mentioned to him that he needed to call them and thank them for the gift. Before I could even get in the house he was on the phone with them thanking them for the gift. I think a call or a thank you note is the gracious thing to do. IMHO.