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Thursday funny

scooterbug44 avatar
SoWal Expert
584 views
This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was "Best Come
Back Line Ever."


In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male,
in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.

On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged
with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public
intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a
pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles
or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone
interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked
out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it,
and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it,
you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching
police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I
walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached
Lawrence.

"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a
pumpkin?"

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he
looked me straight in the face and said...



"A pumpkin? ****...is it midnight already?"

Replies

14
sunspotbaby avatar
SoWal Insider
#2
:floor: Oh FTLOG, what a visual!:funn:
Beach Fanatic
#3
:yikes:
GIjo avatar
Beach Fanatic
#4
:rofl: :rofl: :lolabove: :floor: :floor: :clap: :clap: :clap:
Cheering472 avatar
SoWal Insider
#5
:floor: Hope jdarg doesn't read this. She loves pumpkin pie, this could ruin it for her.
Mango avatar
SoWal Insider
#6
:funn: I wouldn't have been able to arrest him after that comment. :floor:
ktschris avatar
Beach Fanatic
#7
I think I would have to move!!! They put his name in the paper!!! :rofl:
ktschris avatar
Beach Fanatic
#8
MENOPAUSE JEWELRY


My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big
red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
dbuck avatar
Beach Fanatic
#9
MENOPAUSE JEWELRY


My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings,
bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be
able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it
turns green and when I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big
red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.


OMG!!!I love this and soooooooooo appropriate for me. :lol:
Beach Fanatic
#10
:funn: I wouldn't have been able to arrest him after that comment. :floor:
She probably wouldn't have but it was only 11:38pm. ;-) :doh:

I went to high school in Gwinnett Co.,GA. :biggrin: Just makes me feel kinda warm and mushy inside... :wub: :roll:

Edited

Miss Kitty avatar
Meow
#11
:eek: ...did she just say warm and mushy inside????
LightWorker avatar
Beach Fanatic
#12
She probably wouldn't have but it was only 11:38pm. ;-) :doh:

I went to high school in Gwinnett Co.,GA. :biggrin: Just makes me feel kinda warm and mushy inside... :wub: :roll:

:eek: ...did she just say warm and mushy inside????
​
DD avatar
SoWal Expert
#13
:floor: :blink: :floor:
Teresa avatar
SoWal Guide
#14
:floor:
Beach Fanatic
#15
:eek: ...did she just say warm and mushy inside????

Yep, just like a punkin' at Oktoberfest :blush: ;-) :lol:

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