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Fake a clean home in 30 minutes

scooterbug44 avatar
SoWal Expert
878 views
Fake a Clean Home

By Alonna Friedman
Friends coming over in T-minus 30 minutes? Save yourself a freak-out with our cheater's guide to speed-cleaning.


1. DECLUTTER
Do a pass-through of key rooms, picking up clutter as you go. Forget about putting things in their proper places. Just collect any of the following and put in a closet:
  • Catalogs, bills, and newspapers
  • Pets' toys
  • Handbags and shoes
  • Sports equipment
  • Stray DVDs
Time: 4 minutes

2. WIPE DOWN
Slap on your gloves and carry all of these items in a small cleaning caddy so you can easily move from room to room.
Spray an all-purpose cleaner on your kitchen countertop and wipe away grime with paper towels or a microfiber cloth.
Remove fingerprints from stainless steel surfaces using a glass cleaner, specialty cleaner, or plain water and a cloth.
Wipe down the dining table and other surfaces like a china cabinet or server (if you have hardwood, just remove dust with a damp rag or microfiber cloth).
Spray the bathroom sink, vanity, and counters with an all-purpose disinfectant.
Wipe down the outer edge of the tub (it's something all guests will see) and pull the curtain or shower door closed.
Clean the mirror with vinegar and wipe with newsprint (odd but it works). Paper towels leave a fuzzy residue.
Spritz all outside surfaces of the toilet with disinfectant before moving inside. Wipe clean.
Lift the toilet seat lid and spray cleaner on the top and bottom, then squeeze bowl cleaner under the rim or pour in a cup of cleaner. Use a toilet brush to scrub under the rim and inside of the bowl. Flush.
Time: 10 minutes

3. SWIFF
pronunciation: 'swiff'
function: verb
1: the action of using a Swiffer
2: a lifestyle choice for Nest editors

Swiff your coffee table after spraying it with an all-purpose cleaner. Next, tackle the TV (including screen) and entertainment center and quickly swiff any frames and collectibles on display. Then, swiff the floors in the kitchen, living room, and bathroom -- and finish up by defurring couches and chairs with a lint roller.
Time: 5 minutes

4. EMPTY
Clear out the sink. This is self-explanatory. Just put dishes into the dishwasher.
Empty the wastepaper basket in the bathroom.
Take out the trash.

Time: 2 minutes

5. RESTOCK
Put out fresh hand towels, a box of tissues, extra TP, air freshener, and hand soap.
Do a chair count and haul out the extras.
Replenish your table with fresh placemats if there are stains on the current set, or flip them over to the clean side.
Fill the napkin holder.

Time: 4 minutes

6. DISPLAY
Take out serving dishes and wine glasses (check for smudge spots) so they are within reach when guests arrive.
Fluff and arrange wayward throw pillows and push in couch cushions that may be off-kilter.
Make an instant centerpiece by throwing fruit or vegetables into a decorative bowl in the center of the dining table.
Dim the lights and light candles. Nothing hides cleaning imperfections better.
Put on your game face. People are at the door!

Time: 4 minutes

Replies

10
Lady D avatar
SoWal Insider
#2
Fake a Clean Home

By Alonna Friedman
Friends coming over in T-minus 30 minutes? Save yourself a freak-out with our cheater's guide to speed-cleaning.


1. DECLUTTER
Do a pass-through of key rooms, picking up clutter as you go. Forget about putting things in their proper places. Just collect any of the following and put in a closet:
  • Catalogs, bills, and newspapers
  • Pets' toys
  • Handbags and shoes
  • Sports equipment
  • Stray DVDs
Time: 4 minutes

2. WIPE DOWN
Slap on your gloves and carry all of these items in a small cleaning caddy so you can easily move from room to room.
Spray an all-purpose cleaner on your kitchen countertop and wipe away grime with paper towels or a microfiber cloth.
Remove fingerprints from stainless steel surfaces using a glass cleaner, specialty cleaner, or plain water and a cloth.
Wipe down the dining table and other surfaces like a china cabinet or server (if you have hardwood, just remove dust with a damp rag or microfiber cloth).
Spray the bathroom sink, vanity, and counters with an all-purpose disinfectant.
Wipe down the outer edge of the tub (it's something all guests will see) and pull the curtain or shower door closed.
Clean the mirror with vinegar and wipe with newsprint (odd but it works). Paper towels leave a fuzzy residue.
Spritz all outside surfaces of the toilet with disinfectant before moving inside. Wipe clean.
Lift the toilet seat lid and spray cleaner on the top and bottom, then squeeze bowl cleaner under the rim or pour in a cup of cleaner. Use a toilet brush to scrub under the rim and inside of the bowl. Flush.
Time: 10 minutes

3. SWIFF
pronunciation: 'swiff'
function: verb
1: the action of using a Swiffer
2: a lifestyle choice for Nest editors

Swiff your coffee table after spraying it with an all-purpose cleaner. Next, tackle the TV (including screen) and entertainment center and quickly swiff any frames and collectibles on display. Then, swiff the floors in the kitchen, living room, and bathroom -- and finish up by defurring couches and chairs with a lint roller.
Time: 5 minutes

4. EMPTY
Clear out the sink. This is self-explanatory. Just put dishes into the dishwasher.
Empty the wastepaper basket in the bathroom.
Take out the trash.

Time: 2 minutes

5. RESTOCK
Put out fresh hand towels, a box of tissues, extra TP, air freshener, and hand soap.
Do a chair count and haul out the extras.
Replenish your table with fresh placemats if there are stains on the current set, or flip them over to the clean side.
Fill the napkin holder.

Time: 4 minutes

6. DISPLAY
Take out serving dishes and wine glasses (check for smudge spots) so they are within reach when guests arrive.
Fluff and arrange wayward throw pillows and push in couch cushions that may be off-kilter.
Make an instant centerpiece by throwing fruit or vegetables into a decorative bowl in the center of the dining table.
Dim the lights and light candles. Nothing hides cleaning imperfections better.
Put on your game face. People are at the door!

Time: 4 minutes

We've been guilty of that. Had to do that on numerous occasions when my husband's brother called up and said he was on his way over with our Christmas gifts. It's amazing how fast you can clean up. :lol:

Edited

peapod1980 avatar
percy
#3
Anybody remember "the 10-second tidy" from "The Big Comfy Couch"?
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJa7P6dfmco"]YouTube - The Big Comfy Couch - Ten Second Tidy[/ame]
Allifunn avatar
FunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#4
:blink: :blink: If they don't love me the way I am ....then ...........:wave: bye bye.....:biggrin:
John R avatar
needs to get out more
#5
We've been guilty of that. Had to do that on numerous occasions when my husband's brother called up and said he was on his way over with our Christmas gifts. It's amazing how fast you can clean up. :lol:

Did something change in that quote that i missed? I read the entire thing, but it looked the same.:idontno:
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#6
Raise your hand if you can do everything on this list in 30 minutes. Of course if you say yes, I will hate you.:biggrin:
Lady D avatar
SoWal Insider
#7
Did something change in that quote that i missed? I read the entire thing, but it looked the same.:idontno:

I had thought about adding another comment to my reply and didn't. Even if you don't add or change anything, it still shows that you edited it. :idontno:
Hop avatar
Beach Fanatic
#8
4. EMPTY
Clear out the sink. This is self-explanatory. Just put dishes into the dishwasher.
Empty the wastepaper basket in the bathroom.
Take out the trash.

Time: 2 minutes

...i'm not sure what kind of clock you have ....but my clock won't let me do all this in 2 minutes...:blink: the sink by itself is usually about 20 minutes...daily...
Miss Kitty avatar
Meow
#9
Fake a clean home while under the influence of drugs in 30 minutes.
NoHall avatar
hmmmm......can't remember
#10
I do a better job of faking a clean house in about 30 seconds:

  1. walk out on porch
  2. pull door closed behind you
  3. go out to eat in town, don't worry about whether the house is clean or not

(Alternate/even better: When someone calls and says they're coming over unexpectedly, tell them you'll be at the beach. Then go to the beach.)

This belongs on the "tiny house" thread, but if you have a tiny house, you can clean it (no faking) in under 2 hours. Very cool.
Ocean Lover avatar
bean
#11
I do a better job of faking a clean house in about 30 seconds:
  1. walk out on porch
  2. pull door closed behind you
  3. go out to eat in town, don't worry about whether the house is clean or not
(Alternate/even better: When someone calls and says they're coming over unexpectedly, tell them you'll be at the beach. Then go to the beach.)

This belongs on the "tiny house" thread, but if you have a tiny house, you can clean it (no faking) in under 2 hours. Very cool.

You nailed my cleaning philosophy.:biggrin:

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