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Jdarg told me to post this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

greenroomsurfer avatar
Beach Fanatic
437 views
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. ​



The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : ​




Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
​



Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. ​



One student, however, wrote the following: ​



First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. ​



Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. ​



This gives two possibilities: ​



1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. ​



2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. ​



So which is it?​



If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.' ​




THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
​

Replies

10
SoWal Insider
#3
This is so great! I love it! :floor::clap:
NoHall avatar
hmmmm......can't remember
#4
I'm screaming out loud at school. That's awesome.
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#5
I think he used the large print because I am old and use readers to read the computer screen.:roll:

Edited

30A Skunkape avatar
Skunky
#6
pv=nRT
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#7
pv=nRT

:idontno:what is this? At first my eyes read "pervert".
potatovixen avatar
Beach Fanatic
#8
pv=nRT

:idontno:what is this? At first my eyes read "pervert".

me too, but now I'm just thinking, "pv equals what?"
scooterbug44 avatar
SoWal Expert
#9
It's the Ideal Gas Law - Skunky was being smart!

A law relating the pressure, temperature, and volume of an ideal gas. Many common gases exhibit behavior very close to that of an ideal gas at ambient temperature and pressure. The ideal gas law was originally derived from the experimentally measured Charles' law and Boyle's law. Let P be the pressure of a gas, V the volume it occupies, and T its temperature (which must be in absolute temperature units, i.e., in Kelvin). Then the ideal gas law states
(1)
​
where n is the number of moles of gas present and R is the universal gas constant, or equivalently
(2)
​
where N is the number of atoms of gas present and k is Boltzmann's constant.
Boltzmann's constant and the universal gas constant are related by
(3)
​
where is Avogadro's number. Equation (1) can be written in terms of the mass density and molar mass m of the gas as
(4)
​
since the number of moles of gas per unit volume is given by
(5)
seaside2 avatar
Beach Fanatic
#10
You do a grayt job of cutting and pasting Scooter!!!:floor::clap:
sunspotbaby avatar
SoWal Insider
#11
This student deserved an A. I wish I had been this intelligent/witty in school. :clap:

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