I need suggestions for how to help make the holidays easier. I know the first one after you lose a loved one is the worst.
It will be my mother's first X-mas without a mother, my father's first X-mas without a father, my grandmother's first X-mas as a widow and in a new home, and my brother (who already had to miss Thankgiving) will also have to miss Xmas so that will make it worse for my parents.
Replies
8
SoWal Insider
I always found laughter to be the best medicine. Maybe you can find a way to incorporate a special memory of them from the holidays into your family holiday routine, and also find a new tradition amongst yourselves.
There's no use in skirting it, they will be thinking of them, especially your grandmother. If you have easy access to visiting your grandmother, go over and help her decorate. If not, send her tree of some sort. I gave my grandfather a tree many years ago made out of present boxes that he uses on a table top still.
and keep lots of wine around.
There's no use in skirting it, they will be thinking of them, especially your grandmother. If you have easy access to visiting your grandmother, go over and help her decorate. If not, send her tree of some sort. I gave my grandfather a tree many years ago made out of present boxes that he uses on a table top still.
and keep lots of wine around.
Beach Fanatic
Mango made a good point. Laughter does help. The first Christmas is tough, but knowing that,try to do something a little different. Maybe dinner at a different time or place. Children help so much to keep things upbeat, so use their excitement to offset the sad moments. Thinking of you and your family this season.
Beach Fanatic
Dear Scooterbug:
Sorry for all the losses and sad changes for your family. We start every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with a toast to the people we've lost, we have a good cry together (I think it's the Italian in us), and then we get on with the meal wholeheartedly knowing they're with us in spirit. We also still use their recipes for some of the food at the table so that's another way we remember them. And then, we look to the children - the next generation -- with gratefulness and pride, knowing that the memories and traditions are being passed on. The first year is particularly difficult for sure, but somehow we all get through it -- ideally with a lot of gratitude for being part of a family created by those who came before us.
I also listen to Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli sing "The Prayer" every holiday season (several times) because it's a peaceful reminder of appreciation for those who are no longer with us. But it will make you cry so be prepared. (I love a good cry now and then, though.)
I hope you find peace and joy in the memories this holiday season.
Sorry for all the losses and sad changes for your family. We start every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner with a toast to the people we've lost, we have a good cry together (I think it's the Italian in us), and then we get on with the meal wholeheartedly knowing they're with us in spirit. We also still use their recipes for some of the food at the table so that's another way we remember them. And then, we look to the children - the next generation -- with gratefulness and pride, knowing that the memories and traditions are being passed on. The first year is particularly difficult for sure, but somehow we all get through it -- ideally with a lot of gratitude for being part of a family created by those who came before us.
I also listen to Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli sing "The Prayer" every holiday season (several times) because it's a peaceful reminder of appreciation for those who are no longer with us. But it will make you cry so be prepared. (I love a good cry now and then, though.)
I hope you find peace and joy in the memories this holiday season.
Beach Fanatic
Losses are so hard especially with a first or special holiday after the loss...sometimes I think it is better to start anew...and maybe for the first year take a break away from what she shared with the person that is gone from you.
Then maybe the next year you will have the space of a new memory to take you forward and enjoy the comfort of the traditions again...but sometimes the old memories and the loss of not sharing the tradition with the one you loved can be very lonely and difficult....and not very enjoyable...especially when well meaning people are always asking you if you are ok
Then maybe the next year you will have the space of a new memory to take you forward and enjoy the comfort of the traditions again...but sometimes the old memories and the loss of not sharing the tradition with the one you loved can be very lonely and difficult....and not very enjoyable...especially when well meaning people are always asking you if you are ok
Beach Fanatic
I have to agree with JUL, this is the firsts without my Dad and for Thanksgiving we went to the Mts. instead of Mom's. It really did help.
For Christmas we are going to Mom's but changing up things somewhat with a different procedure for gift giving and dinner. I know it will still be hard but we want to be together to share the memories of Dad.
For Christmas we are going to Mom's but changing up things somewhat with a different procedure for gift giving and dinner. I know it will still be hard but we want to be together to share the memories of Dad.
SoWal Insider
Scooter, when you figure something out, fill me in.
I plan on celebrating the lives of the ones I just lost. Watching movies, looking at photos and probably doing lots of crying.
Crashing in on friends at their houses (yall get ready
)
Laughter is the best medicine and SoWal is not bad either.;-)
I plan on celebrating the lives of the ones I just lost. Watching movies, looking at photos and probably doing lots of crying.
Crashing in on friends at their houses (yall get ready
) Laughter is the best medicine and SoWal is not bad either.;-)
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
Scooter, when you figure something out, fill me in.
I plan on celebrating the lives of the ones I just lost. Watching movies, looking at photos and probably doing lots of crying.
Crashing in on friends at their houses (yall get ready
Laughter is the best medicine and SoWal is not bad either.;-)
Awww.....I wish I was there so you could crash my place.
Meow
Scooter, when you figure something out, fill me in.
I plan on celebrating the lives of the ones I just lost. Watching movies, looking at photos and probably doing lots of crying.
Crashing in on friends at their houses (yall get ready
Laughter is the best medicine and SoWal is not bad either.;-)
Please crash with me when I get there!
Checking your forum account
Please wait while we verify your forum account.