Rednecks need love too

RED-NECK VALENTINE'S LOVE POEM

Collards is green

my dog's name is Blue

and I'm so lucky to have

a sweet thang like you.



Yore hair is like cornsilk

a-flapping in the breeze

Softer than Blue's

and without all them fleas.



You move like the bass,

which excite me in May.

You ain't got no scales

but I luv you anyway.



Yo're as satisfy'n as okry

jist a-fry'n in the pan.

Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"

right out of the can.



You have som'a yore teeth,

for which I am proud;

I hold my head high

when we're in a crowd.



On special occasions,

when you shave under yore arms,

well, I'm in hawg heaven,

and awed by yore charms.



Still them fellers at work,

they all want to know,

what I did to deserve

such a purdy, young doe.



Like a good roll of duct tape

yo're there fer yore man,

to patch up life's troubles

and fix what you can.



Yo're as cute as a junebug

a-buzzin' overhead.

You ain't mean like those far ants

I found in my bed.



Cut from the best cloth

like a plaid flannel shirt,

you spark up my life

more than a fresh load of dirt.



When you hold me real tight

like a padded gunrack,

my life is complete;

Ain't nuttin' I lack.



Yore complexion, it's perfection,

like the best vinyl sidin'.

despite all the years,

yore age, it keeps hidin'.



Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie

with a RC cold drank,

we go together

like a skunk goes with stank.



Some men, they buy chocolate

for Valentine's Day;

They git it at Wal-Mart,

it's romantic that way.



Some men git roses

on that special day

from the cooler at Kroger.

"That's impressive," I say.



Some men buy fine diamonds

from a flea market booth.

"Diamonds are forever,"

they explain, suave and couth.



But for this man, honey, these won't do.

Cause yo're too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,

more useful than diamonds...

IT'S A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!