[b][font=Comic Sans MS] [list=1] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]It's always darkest before dawn.[/b] [b][/font][/b][b][font=Verdana]So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.[/font][/b][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]Sex is like air --[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]it's not important unless you aren't getting any.[/b][/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]If you think nobody cares if you're alive,[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]try missing a couple of car payments.[/b] [/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]Before you criticize someone,[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]you should walk a mile in their shoes.[/b] [b]That way, when you criticize them,[/b] [b]you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.[/b] [/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]If at first you don't succeed,[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]skydiving is not for you.[/b] [/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a[/b] [b]boat and drink beer all day.[/b] [/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]If you lend someone $20[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]and never see that person again, it was worth it.[/b] [/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]Don't worry--[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]It only seems kinky the first time.[/b] [/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]Good judgment comes from bad experience,[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.[/b] [/font][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]There are two theories about arguing with women.[/b] [b][/font][/b][b][font=Verdana]Neither one works.[/font][/b][/left] [*][left][b][font=Verdana]Experience is something you don't get[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]until just after you need it.[/b][/font][/left] [*][left][size=2][b][font=Verdana]Never, under any circumstances,[/font][/b][font=Verdana] [b]take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.[/b][/font][/size][/left] [/list][/font][/b]
