what do retired people do all day?

Toots, don't tell us that you are retiring.

Your husband spent all the money on this new site you can't retire.

Toots, don't tell us that you are retiring.

never!

My mother sends me Hillary jokes all the time so I sent this one to her. She says thanks.

Tootsie - my sentiments exactly on the Hillary thing.

Can't wait to retire!

Made me laugh!!

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an
animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her
attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more!
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.'

The lady can't take this any more, 'You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig,'
she retorted indignantly.In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives.'

Hey, coola down lady,' said the man. 'Who talkin'abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '.'

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again

No offense to anyone but I hear that retired folks go to early bird everyday at 4 then share a meal. If thats not bad enough they steal all the Sweet n' Low packets and jelly!!!

I hope to do the same thing when I retire.

mystified - you're on a roll!!! and you're making me roll!

the siggy is pretty funny too. love robin w. much!!!

No offense to anyone but I hear that retired folks go to early bird everyday at 4 then share a meal. If thats not bad enough they steal all the Sweet n' Low packets and jelly!!!

I hope to do the same thing when I retire.

You have to - per AARP the different colored sugar/sweetener packets are poker chips in Heaven.

There's another crazy theory that if you lived through the Depression or WWII, you'd hoard freebies too! ;-)

Sweetner Packet Poker Value (least to greatest)

Sugar
Sugar in the raw
Sweet N' Low
Equal
Splenda (there yellow cause there gold)

i know what retired people do all day. They wait around and then get out on the road during rush hour and go grocery shopping. They have ALL day to do this but they wait until the rest of the world is trying to rush around after their busy work day.
.

i know what retired people do all day. They wait around and then get out on the road during rush hour and go grocery shopping. They have ALL day to do this but they wait until the rest of the world is trying to rush around after their busy work day.
.

They also like to pay bills during lunch hour. Usually with a bag of buffalo nickerls. :roll:

Run for President.

What do retired people do all day?

Don't know, but it sure as heck takes all day to do it.

I have no idea who was doing all this work when I wasn't home to do it.

p.s. I'm not retired, just not working right now.

we sowal a good bit of the day!

Does anyone else have a real problem with the word "retired?" I'm already tired from working. When I quit work, I want to be un-tired, not re-tired...:angry:

Does anyone else have a real problem with the word "retired?" I'm already tired from working. When I quit work, I want to be un-tired, not re-tired...:angry:

Very good point --it is much too close to sounding like "tired"...I am just going to tell people (when that fateful day comes) that I have been "re-treaded".

How about "done"?

I don't know if ya'll have seen this one, but its funny enough to have another go around.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners..

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

I don't know if ya'll have seen this one, but its funny enough to have another go around.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners..

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

Steele Mama posted those for us recently (and I'm too lazy to tell you where) but I always enjoy reading them, and this seems like the perfect thread for it!

A friend of mine told me her 60-something year old mother bought some Lucky jeans, which apparently say "lucky" on the fly. She said, "What does that mean? That she's lucky if she can zip them? Or that she's lucky if she can get them unzipped before she pees on herself?"

LOL thats cute. My fav is 'Pin the toupee on the bald guy' hehehe.

But ummmm...I've already lost my car in the parking lot a couple of times. My old car had one of those alarms I could activate and find my car that way. The current alram system doesn;t go off until I'm a few feet away.

Run for President.

Does anyone else have a real problem with the word "retired?" I'm already tired from working. When I quit work, I want to be un-tired, not re-tired...:angry:

you are always way sharp!

I don't know if ya'll have seen this one, but its funny enough to have another go around.

GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER

1. Sag, you're It.

2. Hide and go pee.

3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.

4. Kick the bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

6. Musical recliners..

7. Simon says something incoherent.

8. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy

SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:

1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.

OLD IS WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!

.

you are always way sharp!


.

shucks...