Back to SoWal Lounge

Top this SAT Score!

Rita avatar
margarita brocolia
1,150 views
The following questions and answers were collated from the SAT tests
given to 16 years-old students. Don't laugh too hard -- one of them could
become president one day!


Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants
like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: What is a planet?
A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.

Q: What causes the tides in the ocean?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to
flow toward the moon because there is no water on the moon and nature
abhors
a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen).
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and
the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contain
heart
and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O
and
U.

Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraption by wearing a condominium.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section"
A: The caesarian section is a district in Rome.

Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman Emperor.

Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport.

Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like
umbrellas.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab wears on his head.

And just think, one day our Social Security payments will depend on
these
kids.

Replies

23
picky
#2
I am laughing so much about this one! My daughter takes her 1st SAT next month. Should I show her this Before or After? :funn:

(Next sentiment: Be Afraid! Very Afraid!)
Rita avatar
margarita brocoliaAuthor
#3
How old (grade) is she MM? Some of Jackie's friends tested last year as 7th graders. We didn't have her do that. Not sure about this year? :idontno:

They say it is good to take it a couple times, 'cause most will do better 2nd time around. But beyond that I've heard it isn't always advised. I should keep up with this stuff better, I guess, as time will fly by.
bsmart avatar
brain
#4
How old (grade) is she MM? Some of Jackie's friends tested last year as 7th graders. We didn't have her do that. Not sure about this year? :idontno:

They say it is good to take it a couple times, 'cause most will do better 2nd time around. But beyond that I've heard it isn't always advised. I should keep up with this stuff better, I guess, as time will fly by.


I took it for the first time in 7th grade--I was selected to do so for placement in math classes in High School, got to skip Algebra.
Kimmifunn avatar
Funnkalicious
#5
I am laughing so much about this one! My daughter takes her 1st SAT next month. Should I show her this Before or After? :funn:

(Next sentiment: Be Afraid! Very Afraid!)

I didn't take the SAT's. I took the ACT once, after a Panic show...and then got what I needed to get into Auburn. Tests are so overrated. :clap_1:
picky
#6
Fyl is in her junior year. She took the PSAT earlier this year. Lots of her friends are taking special classes in how to take the SAT to get really good scores. I'm afraid we are bucking the trend because we don't think that is necessary to hook a good college.

Fyl is at a college prep school to start with, is never off the High Honor roll (PM me if you want to know her GPA ;-) ) and is involved in many activities. From what we've heard, colleges look at the whole package and the SAT is only one of the many components. The MerDaughter is confident enough to wing the SAT without stressing out about it.

Oh, by the way, she didn't know all the answers to that test! When I asked her the "varicose" question, she said, "Let's see, Veri means truth, so...." :roll:
picky
#7
I didn't take the SAT's. I took the ACT once, after a Panic show...and then got what I needed to get into Auburn. Tests are so overrated. :clap_1:

Kimmi! That's the way the MerFamily thinks! You summed it up perfectly.
Kimmifunn avatar
Funnkalicious
#8
Fyl is in her junior year. She took the PSAT earlier this year. Lots of her friends are taking special classes in how to take the SAT to get really good scores. I'm afraid we are bucking the trend because we don't think that is necessary to hook a good college.

Fyl is at a college prep school to start with, is never off the High Honor roll (PM me if you want to know her GPA ;-) ) and is involved in many activities. From what we've heard, colleges look at the whole package and the SAT is only one of the many components. The MerDaughter is confident enough to wing the SAT without stressing out about it.

Oh, by the way, she didn't know all the answers to that test! When I asked her the "varicose" question, she said, "Let's see, Veri means truth, so...." :roll:
Mermaid. You know where this thread is going to end up right?
Kimmifunn avatar
Funnkalicious
#9
Kimmi! That's the way the MerFamily thinks! You summed it up perfectly.
I took school very lightly. Parrothead74 on the other hand is a brain. He manages to play football, lacrosse, ect and maintain a ridiculously high GPA. Get this. Ole Gussie almost took his car away for making a B! :rolling: That said...there is something to be said for really working in school. I didn't really, but then again, I'm not a brain surgeon. And I'm fine with that. I had funn in my 5 years of college. I'd do it again and not change a thing. :cool:
picky
#10
Mermaid. You know where this thread is going to end up right?


On a very technical note?
Landlocked avatar
Beach Fanatic
#11
I didn't take the SAT's. I took the ACT once, after a Panic show...and then got what I needed to get into Auburn. Tests are so overrated. :clap_1:

When I was at Auburn, I drove from SoWal straight to my class, with sand still stuck on my legs, took my final, and drove straight back. I think I made a 42. :idontno:
Kimmifunn avatar
Funnkalicious
#12
When I was at Auburn, I drove from SoWal straight to my class, with sand still stuck on my legs, took my final, and drove straight back. I think I made a 42. :idontno:
I had the keys to my parent's house and we would go down for the weekends. We drove down after a formal one night. It's a wonder we never got busted. :roll:

I was down in Sowal one summer when I was taking summer school at Auburn and went to the Seaside doctor- Dr. Varnador- and got an excuse so I could stay an extra day.
picky
#13
I took school very lightly. Parrothead74 on the other hand is a brain. He manages to play football, lacrosse, ect and maintain a ridiculously high GPA. Get this. Ole Gussie almost took his car away for making a B! :rolling: That said...there is something to be said for really working in school. I didn't really, but then again, I'm not a brain surgeon. And I'm fine with that. I had funn in my 5 years of college. I'd do it again and not change a thing. :cool:


You're like my son who is at his first year in college. I've come to the conclusion, though, that there are many kinds of smart. Alex in high school was always an equal opportunity student. On his report card, he'd bring home every letter in the alphabet from A to F. We nearly tore our hair out. But you know what, he's absolutely brilliant in other ways. So what if he's not "book smart." He's a wonderful human being and well-rounded. Just like you are, Kimmi.

Fyl is our book smart kid but I could tell you bimbo stories that would make you fall on the floor laughing.

So you tell me why we or anyone should brag or stress about the SAT? In the scheme of things, it's a cosmic pindrop.
Kimmifunn avatar
Funnkalicious
#14
You're like my son who is at his first year in college. I've come to the conclusion, though, that there are many kinds of smart. Alex in high school was always an equal opportunity student. On his report card, he'd bring home every letter in the alphabet from A to F. We nearly tore our hair out. But you know what, he's absolutely brilliant in other ways. So what if he's not "book smart." He's a wonderful human being and well-rounded. Just like you are, Kimmi.

Fyl is our book smart kid but I could tell you bimbo stories that would make you fall on the floor laughing.

So you tell me why we or anyone should brag or stress about the SAT? In the scheme of things, it's a cosmic pindrop.
Listen. From what I've heard and from my very little experience. Grades don't matter. I was interviewing people to fill my old position at the agency I worked at and if I got a resume from a "smart" school if you will, I put it aside. I didn't even call them in. I knew they wouldn'd be the right fit for what we did. Someone who studied journalism at xxx doesn't want to work at an entertainment/fashion pr firm. And if they do, they usually don't cut it. So that's my peace on that. I interviewed NYU and that's about as private school as I went.
Rita avatar
margarita brocoliaAuthor
#15
You're like my son who is at his first year in college. I've come to the conclusion, though, that there are many kinds of smart. Alex in high school was always an equal opportunity student. On his report card, he'd bring home every letter in the alphabet from A to F. We nearly tore our hair out. But you know what, he's absolutely brilliant in other ways. So what if he's not "book smart." He's a wonderful human being and well-rounded. Just like you are, Kimmi.

Fyl is our book smart kid but I could tell you bimbo stories that would make you fall on the floor laughing.

So you tell me why we or anyone should brag or stress about the SAT? In the scheme of things, it's a cosmic pindrop.


:clap_1: There are most definately different kinds of "smart". What many kids miss out on IMO is developing problem solving kills.
Miss Kitty avatar
Meow
#16
Now this is a topic I can really yak about! First off...A students work for C students! Not always, but the jest of it is...there is more to a person than grades. The SAT prep and private college guidance "expert" are two things I wish I had purchased stock in here. I understand parents wanting to give their child oppotunity, but this has caused a domino effect. Some start and then others catch wind and this being a very competitive world, everyone is lined up and signing up for extra help! Some of these kids are so stressed out trying to be what some colleges "want"...this well-rounded robot, that they forget to be themselves. I have stated earlier that these are the same parents that tick off their child's scores like it was their latest "killing" in the stock market. Very sad to me. I will admit we TRIED to get male spawn interested in some self paced help for the SAT....WHAT A JOKE ON US! It was like pulling teeth to get him to go! UGH! Lots of kids go willingly and have the spirit to want to beat the test, but mine had other things to do!!! Dam* Rita...so sorry...I am off the soapbox! Don't worry...be Happy!
Kimmifunn avatar
Funnkalicious
#17
Now this is a topic I can really yak about! First off...A students work for C students! Not always, but the jest of it is...there is more to a person than grades. The SAT prep and private college guidance "expert" are two things I wish I had purchased stock in here. I understand parents wanting to give their child oppotunity, but this has caused a domino effect. Some start and then others catch wind and this being a very competitive world, everyone is lined up and signing up for extra help! Some of these kids are so stressed out trying to be what some colleges "want"...this well-rounded robot, that they forget to be themselves. I have stated earlier that these are the same parents that tick off their child's scores like it was their latest "killing" in the stock market. Very sad to me. I will admit we TRIED to get male spawn interested in some self paced help for the SAT....WHAT A JOKE ON US! It was like pulling teeth to get him to go! UGH! Lots of kids go willingly and have the spirit to want to beat the test, but mine had other things to do!!! Dam* Rita...so sorry...I am off the soapbox! Don't worry...be Happy!

Experience, experience, experience. Take a summer or 2 and do an internship. Internships turn into jobs.

By the way Miss Kitay...You need to ask your daughter if she knew TBag at SMU. I feel like everyone did.

And...I loved SMU girls. We had 2 working for us at the agency. They made the cut. They were some of the only cute and smart girls that actually "get it". :clap_1:
Rita avatar
margarita brocoliaAuthor
#18
Now this is a topic I can really yak about! First off...A students work for C students! Not always, but the jest of it is...there is more to a person than grades. The SAT prep and private college guidance "expert" are two things I wish I had purchased stock in here. I understand parents wanting to give their child oppotunity, but this has caused a domino effect. Some start and then others catch wind and this being a very competitive world, everyone is lined up and signing up for extra help! Some of these kids are so stressed out trying to be what some colleges "want"...this well-rounded robot, that they forget to be themselves. I have stated earlier that these are the same parents that tick off their child's scores like it was their latest "killing" in the stock market. Very sad to me. I will admit we TRIED to get male spawn interested in some self paced help for the SAT....WHAT A JOKE ON US! It was like pulling teeth to get him to go! UGH! Lots of kids go willingly and have the spirit to want to beat the test, but mine had other things to do!!! Dam* Rita...so sorry...I am off the soapbox! Don't worry...be Happy!

You can stay on your box all you want Miss Kitty!
:?: For a bright student, would the only reason to test early or twice be to get a feel for the type of questions and become more comfortable with the test?

Texas schools spend a huge amount of time preparing kids for TAKS testing. There is only the end of the school year to teach the things the teachers want to teach. It has to be very frustrating to have knowledge and be excited about certain topics but not have time to teach it.
picky
#19
You can stay on your box all you want Miss Kitty!
:?: For a bright student, would the only reason to test early or twice be to get a feel for the type of questions and become more comfortable with the test?

Texas schools spend a huge amount of time preparing kids for TAKS testing. There is only the end of the school year to teach the things the teachers want to teach. It has to be very frustrating to have knowledge and be excited about certain topics but not have time to teach it.


I just asked my daughter that, and she said, Yes, some kids aren't so good at test taking, that they just freeze up a little, so it helps them to have more than one shot at it.
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#20
How old (grade) is she MM? Some of Jackie's friends tested last year as 7th graders. We didn't have her do that. Not sure about this year? :idontno:

They say it is good to take it a couple times, 'cause most will do better 2nd time around. But beyond that I've heard it isn't always advised. I should keep up with this stuff better, I guess, as time will fly by.


Will is taking the SAT as a 7th grader this year through the Duke U. Talent ID Program. We are not making him- he wants to. He took a modified ACT as a 6th grader and did well, and next year he will take the ACT. These tests keep his interest because they are challenging for his age level- and it is mostly the format that is challenging. The SAT and ACT are so different from any other acheievement or state tests, that it is good practice to take them a few times just to practice with the "foreign" test formats. If your child doesn't mind taking these tests, and the pressure is off, I think there is much to be gained-most importantly, what to expect.
Rita avatar
margarita brocoliaAuthor
#21
Will is taking the SAT as a 7th grader this year through the Duke U. Talent ID Program. We are not making him- he wants to. He took a modified ACT as a 6th grader and did well, and next year he will take the ACT. These tests keep his interest because they are challenging for his age level- and it is mostly the format that is challenging. The SAT and ACT are so different from any other acheievement or state tests, that it is good practice to take them a few times just to practice with the "foreign" test formats. If your child doesn't mind taking these tests, and the pressure is off, I think there is much to be gained-most importantly, what to expect.

Thanks jdarg! Jackie started getting the Duke University stuff in 4th grade (for math) and we would have had her do that as it seems like a good extra enrichment, but she wasn't the least bit interested so we didn't push it.
Appreciate your input.
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#22
Thanks jdarg! Jackie started getting the Duke University stuff in 4th grade (for math) and we would have had her do that as it seems like a good extra enrichment, but she wasn't the least bit interested so we didn't push it.
Appreciate your input.


He's shy on top of smart, so he kinda "flies under the radar" in school. We have to keep on top of keeping him interested and getting him into things that will bring him some recognition, because he will not seek it himself. When he excels at something and people notice, you can see him gaining more and more confidence.
Miss Kitty avatar
Meow
#23
He's shy on top of smart, so he kinda "flies under the radar" in school. We have to keep on top of keeping him interested and getting him into things that will bring him some recognition, because he will not seek it himself. When he excels at something and people notice, you can see him gaining more and more confidence.

You certainly wouldn't want to stop that interest! Mine was all about the theater and drama. Very shy, but put him on stage and stand back! He too was an under the radar guy the rest of the time.
OhioBeachBum avatar
Beach Fanatic
#24
Funny - answers to two of the questions are "common sense" correct ;-)
(cigs & milk) :biggrin:

Checking your forum account

Please wait while we verify your forum account.