The Good Napkins

kathydwells kathydwells avatar

kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined Dec 20, '04View profile MessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname

Nov 23, '05 · 10:06 AM543

THE GOOD NAPKINS...ahhhhh...the joys of having girls.

My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom.

Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake).

Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone.

Mine was to set the table. When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!! My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!!"

Isn't it easier to just tell the truth?????????

Replies

Smiling JOe Smiling JOe avatar

Smiling JOeSoWal Expert31,643 postsJoined Nov 18, '04View profile MessageSoWal Expert

Nov 23, '05 · 10:09 AM#2

Oh my God! That is too much. With that story, I think you have the makings for the first one page book Best Seller.:clap_1::floor:

kathydwells kathydwells avatar

kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined Dec 20, '04View profile MessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameAuthor

Nov 23, '05 · 10:16 AM#3

Oh my God! That is too much. With that story, I think you have the makings for the first one page book Best Seller.:clap_1::floor:

Well, I didn't actually do it. A friend sent this to me this morning. However, it does sound like something I would have done!

seagrovelover seagrovelover avatar

seagroveloverlittle sugarSt Louis Missouri2,984 postsJoined Jan 12, '05View profile Messagelittle sugar

Nov 23, '05 · 12:11 PM#4

OMG Kathy D D.....that is just too funny!!!! :clap_1:

Ocean Lover Ocean Lover avatar

Ocean LoverbeanBuckeye Country9,491 postsJoined Apr 16, '05View profile Messagebean

Nov 23, '05 · 12:41 PM#5

True story and a funny memory from elementry school: When I was in third grade a few of us girls were very curious to find out what a "feminine napkin" looked like. I imagined it being all pretty and lacy. I'm not sure why we thought they were hanging on a wall in the girls restroom though. One day someone brought in a dime and we bought one on recess. We opened it up and then were even more confused. But we also sensed we had done something bad so one of us hit it in our coat and went out on the playground. Somehow one of the boys got a hold of it and they were playing keep away with it. Of course the teacher got involved and we had to have a good talking to. I think our parents were called and then I had to have the very beginnings of "the talk".