Winter Joke

COLD IS RELATIVE IN BUFFALO

50 DEGREES
New Yorkers turn on the heat. People in Buffalo plant gardens.

40 DEGREES
Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Buffalo sunbathe.

35 DEGREES
Italian cars won't start. People in Buffalo drive with the windows down.

32 DEGREES
Distilled water freezes. Buffalo water gets thicker.

20 DEGREES
Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Buffalo throw on a T-shirt.

15 DEGREES
Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Buffalo go swimming.

ZERO DEGREES
New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Buffalo have the last cookout before it gets cold.

10 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
People in Miami cease to exist. People in Buffalo lick flagpoles.

20 DEGREES BELOW
Californians fly ZERO away to Mexico. People in Buffalo throw on a light jacket.

40 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
Hollywood disintegrates. People in Buffalo rent videos.

60 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
Mt. St. Helens freezes. Buffalo Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.

80 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Buffalo Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

100 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Buffalo pull down their ear flaps.

173 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Buffalo get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.

297 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
Microbial life start to disappear. Buffalo cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
All atomic motion stops. People in Buffalo start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 DEGREES BELOW ZERO
Hell freezes over. Buffalo wins the Stanley Cup.