Where is the Friday Funny???

I didn't see the Friday funnies today???? So this is all I have. I don't know if it's that good or not........but I only have 54 min to post it so here goes.............

Subject: Women

This is for all you women 40 years and over.... and for those who are
turning 40, and for those who are scared of moving into their 40's...AND
for guys who are scared of girls over 40!!!!...This was written by Andy
Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.

Andy Rooney says:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are
just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask,
"What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman
over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining
about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually
something more interesting.

A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is,
what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40
give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with
you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course,
if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they
can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what
it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women
friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best
friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over 40
couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows
her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a
woman over 40. They always know.

A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not
true of younger women.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if
you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder
where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately,
it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman
of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of
himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk
for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against
marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire
Pig, just to get a little sausage.