My Holiday

Beach Fanatic

Jan 3, '06 · 10:17 AM2,494

I hope everyone had a great holiday. I got a stomach virus for Christmas this year.

My whole family came down with it and I was the last one to fall to it. I started feeling queasy Monday night so I decided to run to Publix while I was still able. I was going to pick up the upset stomach necessities (sprite, ginger ale, saltines and toilet paper).

So I'm standing on the soft drink isle with my buggy and I had one big dry heave. I took off in a full run across the store and didn't quite make it to the toilet. I slammed the door of the bathroom open and I exploded like a damn volcano. The poor bag boy at the urinal didn't know what he had just seen. I didn't know puke could fly that far. I'm sure it was some kind of record.

I cleaned myself and the bathroom up as well as I could and headed back to fetch my buggy. Apparently he had already told everyone in the store what I had done because they were all staring at me. Maybe it was the barf on my jeans and boots that tipped them off.

On the drive home, I had my head hanging out the window, dry heaving all the way home. I'm sure the people in traffic got a kick out of it.

I wish I had a video of the episode. I'm sure it would have been hysterical.

Replies

SoWal Expert

Jan 3, '06 · 10:36 AM#2

OMG. I just spit sunflower seeds all over my computer. I feel guilty for laughing so hard at your misfortune, and hope you are feeling much better.

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 10:41 AM#3

OMG. I just spit sunflower seeds all over my computer. I feel guilty for laughing so hard at your misfortune, and hope you are feeling much better.

I'm just glad its over. I'm also glad the volcano didn't erupt from the other end.

Funnkalicious

Jan 3, '06 · 10:51 AM#4

I'm just glad its over. I'm also glad the volcano didn't erupt from the other end.

You'll have to ask old Gussifunn about that. His favorite quote is "I just couldn't make it!" :floor:

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 10:56 AM#5

You'll have to ask old Gussifunn about that. His favorite quote is "I just couldn't make it!"

I don't know him but I can see him waddling in a half run towards the toilet. :floor:

Funnkalicious

Jan 3, '06 · 10:56 AM#6

I don't know him but I can see him waddling in a half run towards the toilet.

In Home Depot none the less.

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 10:57 AM#7

In Home Depot none the less.

He sharted.

Beach Fanatic

Jan 3, '06 · 11:08 AM#8

"it must have been nanoseconds... i almost had it"

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 11:12 AM#9

"it must have been nanoseconds... i almost had it"

I saw a guy do this at home depot one time. He was picking up a five gallon bucket of paint and he had a little 'accident'. :floor:

got any pics?

Jan 3, '06 · 11:41 AM#10

So I'm standing on the soft drink isle with my buggy and I had one big dry heave. I took off in a full run across the store and didn't quite make it to the toilet. I slammed the door of the bathroom open and I exploded like a damn volcano. The poor bag boy at the urinal didn't know what he had just seen. I didn't know puke could fly that far. I'm sure it was some kind of record.

I am LMOAO!!! :floor:

Seriously wiping tears from my eyes :lolabove:

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 11:43 AM#11

I am LMOAO!!! Seriously wiping tears from my eyes

You should see the looks you get when you run full speed through a grocery store.

SoWal Expert

Jan 3, '06 · 11:44 AM#12

I have learned a lesson from your story- i'm going to notice every single person within 50 feet of my cart when I'm at the grocery. And be prepared to dive out of the way if anyone looks green!

got any pics?

Jan 3, '06 · 11:44 AM#13

You should see the looks you get when you run full speed through a grocery store.

Good thing somebody didn't try to stop you thinking you were shoplifting. :funn:

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 11:45 AM#14

Good thing somebody didn't try to stop you thinking you were shoplifting. :funn:

That would be the last time they ever stopped someone. :floor:

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 11:46 AM#15

I have learned a lesson from your story- i'm going to notice every single person within 50 feet of my cart when I'm at the grocery. And be prepared to dive out of the way if anyone looks green!

Just wear a rain coat or a poncho and you'll be fine.

SoWal Expert

Jan 3, '06 · 11:53 AM#16

Just wear a rain coat or a poncho and you'll be fine.

I'm one of those people that "sympathy pukes"- if I had been anywhere within earshot of you, I'd have been hurling too!

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 11:58 AM#17

I'm one of those people that "sympathy pukes"- if I had been anywhere within earshot of you, I'd have been hurling too!

I am too. I was unfortunately involved in the School Bus Barf-o-rama when I was in the fourth grade. It was a chain reaction of kids barfing all over each other.

Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname

Jan 3, '06 · 12:00 PM#18

I knew that your first post back, post holiday would be a good. I am laughing so hard. I am sorry that happened to you. I hope you are feeling much better now. My son has had it for several day's now. Just last night, I heard him in the bathroom, I call down the hall and ask him if he is ok. Yes, mom was the reply, but after he finished he had to come and give me a report. "Mom did you hear that? It sounded like a bomb went off, and of course he was making all the sounds that go along with the diarreha.....and mom, I have used 2 rolls of toilet paper in 2 days and I am working on third one...UGH...TMI for me son.

Anyway, welcome back LL. Have missed your humor!!!!

quirty

Jan 3, '06 · 12:02 PM#19

I am too. I was unfortunately involved in the School Bus Barf-o-rama when I was in the fourth grade. It was a chain reaction of kids barfing all over each other.

So glad I decided to check out this thread on my lunch hour!

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 12:12 PM#20

I knew that your first post back, post holiday would be a good. I am laughing so hard. I am sorry that happened to you. I hope you are feeling much better now. My son has had it for several day's now. Just last night, I heard him in the bathroom, I call down the hall and ask him if he is ok. Yes, mom was the reply, but after he finished he had to come and give me a report. "Mom did you hear that? It sounded like a bomb went off, and of course he was making all the sounds that go along with the diarreha.....and mom, I have used 2 rolls of toilet paper in 2 days and I am working on third one...UGH...TMI for me son.

Anyway, welcome back LL. Have missed your humor!!!!

I'm sorry but that's just funny! It's good to be missed!

Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname

Jan 3, '06 · 12:13 PM#21

I'm sorry but that's just funny! It's good to be missed!

Oh, don't be sorry....I was on the floor laughing so hard at him. He was too!!!!

Beach FanaticAuthor

Jan 3, '06 · 12:15 PM#22

So glad I decided to check out this thread on my lunch hour!

If you see a thread started by me, it will more than likely contain either potty humor or something about boobs.

brain

Jan 3, '06 · 12:26 PM#23

I'm one of those people that "sympathy pukes"- if I had been anywhere within earshot of you, I'd have been hurling too!

OH me too! I have a very weak stomach when it comes to bodily fluids.

Meow

Jan 3, '06 · 12:29 PM#24

I tried, I really tried not to laugh LL...BAAAAAAWAAAAAA!!! I bet you broke some track and field record!! What an awful experience. I am going to go wash my hands right now!