Signs your cat may want to kill you.

Love this!:lol:

The thread title hooked me laughing...
especially given that my 8yr old 'sweet' cat launched a full frontal attack on me a couple weeks ago. Just flew at me out-of-left-field howling, hissing, bat-$heet swiping & clawing.

Me: :shock: WTF???? Dial 1-800-Xorcist

Then I got my broom and chased him around screeching at the top of my lungs:blush:. That cat did NOT back down! Neutering calms them???? I'd say he's still harboring latent p$$d-offedness over that l'il procedure, and in that moment his desire to kill me exceeded his addiction to snax!

The thread title hooked me laughing...
especially given that my 8yr old 'sweet' cat launched a full frontal attack on me a couple weeks ago. Just flew at me out-of-left-field howling, hissing, bat-$heet swiping & clawing.

Me: :shock: WTF???? Dial 1-800-Xorcist

Then I got my broom and chased him around screeching at the top of my lungs:blush:. That cat did NOT back down! Neutering calms them???? I'd say he's still harboring latent p$$d-offedness over that l'il procedure, and in that moment his desire to kill me exceeded his addiction to snax!

RIP DuneAHH.

Have you been watching my warrior cats? :lolabove:
View attachment 18945View attachment 18946

Actually, I was almost murdered by a cat once.
Mr. DD had this cat that I gave him, but I never claimed that little b*tch. She had had a litter of kittens. We lived in some apartments and someone had dumped another kitten down a ditch by the parking lot. I heard it crying and went to save it. I made the dumbass decision to bring the orphan kitten into the apartment. Let me jsut tell you that Mama Cat came at me and shredded my shorts clad legs to ribbons! She was trying to get at the kitten. By the time Mr. DD pulls her off me, I have lost a lot of blood. It looked like a murder scene.😱
I backed out the door and he slammed it behind me.
I didn't like the cat before and I sure didn't like her then. Strangely, she got out right after that and disappeared. I swear I had nothing to do with it. Her kittens were still nursing when she left. I had two of them for 17 years.
So yes, they do think about this.:lol:

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:yikes:

I knew there was a reason we've never had a cat!


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I've always had cats and love them, but that cat was possessed.

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:yikes:

I knew there was a reason we've never had a cat!


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:lol: I'm thinking the same thing... actually, we did have one who lived to be very very old. she was wonderful in her own neurotic way.

Bubba, my 20 year old baby and also a ti--y kitty, was kneading my stomach last night in fact!! I just thought it was because it was the softest place in the whole house. We also call this "marching in place".

Mine buries her nose in my armpit and tries to drink the man milk out of my moobs, leaving behind a saliva stain on my shirt. Another one gets on my chest and could give me CPR if he knew how to do mouth-to-mouth. Dad designs some crazy stuff, doesn't he?

I am still laughing about this post 3 days later :clap_1: :wub::lolabove:

I don't doubt it - friend had an EVIL Siamese cat - she kept a super soaker in the house just to scare him away from me.

Her other cat loved me. :idontno:

Really if you want to assess the possible homicidal tendencies of your feline "companion", you might start by checking his Internet browsing history. Sites like www.killowner.com and www.ripjugular.com are dead giveaways. Also are there any sudden changes in behavior? Does he have new friends? You might want to listen in on some of your pet's conversations. Often times killer cats are very vocal about their intentions, but nobody takes them seriously. This a a big mistake. A little vigilance may be all it takes to prevent actions your felines leading to the creation of your chalk lines.

Really if you want to assess the possible homicidal tendencies of your feline "companion", you might start by checking his Internet browsing history. Sites like www.killowner.com and www.ripjugular.com are dead giveaways. Also are there any sudden changes in behavior? Does he have new friends? You might want to listen in on some of your pet's conversations. Often times killer cats are very vocal about their intentions, but nobody takes them seriously. This a a big mistake. A little vigilance may be all it takes to prevent actions your felines leading to the creation of your chalk lines.

Also beware cat-atonia due to high cat-college loan balances and cat-astrophically high unemployment rates in the field of mousing.

Really if you want to assess the possible homicidal tendencies of your feline "companion", you might start by checking his Internet browsing history. Sites like www.killowner.com and www.ripjugular.com are dead giveaways. Also are there any sudden changes in behavior? Does he have new friends? You might want to listen in on some of your pet's conversations. Often times killer cats are very vocal about their intentions, but nobody takes them seriously. This a a big mistake. A little vigilance may be all it takes to prevent actions your felines leading to the creation of your chalk lines.

Jesus: I think I saw your cat at the local gun and knife show... I'm just watching your back, bro'. :cool:

Y'all crack me up!:lol::floor:

.................. Dad designs some crazy stuff, doesn't he?

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:wave:





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:lolabove::lolabove:
:lolabove::lolabove:

I think this photo of my brother's cat, Gatorbait, proves that... well... that she'd like to kill EVERYONE!

Yep. :shock: She's possessed...