#1 - Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door'
#2 - Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, ?Windy, isn't it??
?No,? the second man replied, ?it's Thursday.?
And the third man chimed in, ?So am I. Let's have a beer.?
#3 - A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say ?Supersex.?
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him, she said, ?Supersex.?
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, ?I'll take the soup.?
#4 - Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, ?Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..?
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes; she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, ?How soon do you need to know??
#5 - As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, ?Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
Please be careful!?
?Heck,? said Herman, ?It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!?
#6 - Two elderly women were out driving in a large car--both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, ?Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!?
Mildred turned to her and said, ?Oh, crap, am I driving?"
Replies
13
beats on hood
:lol:
Hey, it's already me. I sometimes try to open my office door with my car's remote control.
Hey, it's already me. I sometimes try to open my office door with my car's remote control.
Beach Fanatic
#3 broke me and my wife up. At my age, all the above applies.
Beach Fanatic
:clap:I liked number 1
Beach Fanatic
ROFLMAO! Just can't remember why.
Beach Fanatic
S'okay. I once left my office, got in my car, buckled my seatbelt... and sat there wondering why the car wasn't moving.
Then I realized that in order for it to go anywhere, I'd have to get in the driver's seat... :doh::blush::lol:
Then I realized that in order for it to go anywhere, I'd have to get in the driver's seat... :doh::blush::lol:
SoWal ExpertAuthor
Yes - Papa Scooterbug sent that because it IS our family!
My signature move is to turn on the cold water faucet and then freak out because I think the hot water heater is broken.
And Mama Scooterbug's family is about 1/4 on calling someone by the correct name.
My signature move is to turn on the cold water faucet and then freak out because I think the hot water heater is broken.
And Mama Scooterbug's family is about 1/4 on calling someone by the correct name.
Beach Lover
S'okay. I once left my office, got in my car, buckled my seatbelt... and sat there wondering why the car wasn't moving.:clap:Gurl, you are way too young to do that!!!!!
Then I realized that in order for it to go anywhere, I'd have to get in the driver's seat... :doh::blush::lol:
Beach Fanatic
So I don't think this is an old age thing I do, but still. For as long as I can remember (my mother does this too), when we run out of something -- say black peppercorns, or cans of coconut milk, or Dijon mustard, or toilet paper -- I will stock up once at the store, then forget I stocked up, and will stock up two or three more times at the store until we have a survivalist supply of whatever the item-du-jour may be. I'm just glad it's not motorcycles or boats or some other great big thing that I stock up on!
Beach Fanatic
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
We both brayed and hee-hawed like a coupla mules over ALL of these... mainly 'cuz we're in the autobahn-express-lane to that destination (and loving laughing at ourselves all the way)!
We both brayed and hee-hawed like a coupla mules over ALL of these... mainly 'cuz we're in the autobahn-express-lane to that destination (and loving laughing at ourselves all the way)!
margarita brocolia
.
:floor:...Those were good!
This eve I told my husband we got some return labels in the mail from "someone, I can't remember who" ................ "oh yeah, the Alzheimer Association"
He just looked at me and cracked up!
.
:floor:...Those were good!
This eve I told my husband we got some return labels in the mail from "someone, I can't remember who" ................ "oh yeah, the Alzheimer Association"
He just looked at me and cracked up!
.
SoWal ExpertAuthor
The Scooterbug family actually developed hand signals to help us track - flashing 2 fingers (ala peace sign) means "you already told me/us this story" (on phone or out of eye line you just say "2 times") and a sideways motion w/ whole hand (fingers together) means "I'm making a left turn - aka major change of subject."
got any pics?
LOL - Good stuff :lol:
Beach Fanatic
So I don't think this is an old age thing I do, but still. For as long as I can remember (my mother does this too), when we run out of something -- say black peppercorns, or cans of coconut milk, or Dijon mustard, or toilet paper -- I will stock up once at the store, then forget I stocked up, and will stock up two or three more times at the store until we have a survivalist supply of whatever the item-du-jour may be. I'm just glad it's not motorcycles or boats or some other great big thing that I stock up on!
:lolabove:
I SO relate to this (though survivalist supplies of toilet paper are a comfort to me)!!
Last week I bought a box of nutty nuggets cereal... I was just sure of it. I 'remember' searching for it on the cereal shelf at Publix. I 'remember' unpacking groceries and placing it in 'the cereal space' in my cabinet.
When I went to eat breakfast a few days later...
that box of cereal had mysteriously transformed into a box of graham crackers! I tore the house apart looking for that cereal. Maybe I zoned out and put the cereal in the cabinet where the toilet paper lives?? Then I checked the cars... probably slipped out of the bag and lodged under one of the seats, right?
Nary a sign of nutty nuggets except the ones knocking around in my head.:blush:
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