Things you won't hear in the south....

DD · 2006-05-11T03:11:27.000Z

[list] [*][left]"I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex" [/left] [*][left]Duct tape won't fix that. [/left] [*][left]Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. [/left] [*][left]Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. [/left] [*][left]We don't keep firearms in this house. [/left] [*][left]Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? [/left] [*][left]You can't feed that to the dog. [/left] [*][left]I thought Graceland was tacky. [/left] [*][left]No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe. [/left] [*][left]Wrasslin's fake. [/left] [*][left]Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? [/left] [*][left]We're vegetarians. [/left] [*][left]Do you think my hair is too big? [/left] [*][left]I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy. [/left] [*][left]Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering? [/left] [*][left]Who's Richard Petty? [/left] [*][left]Give me the small bag of pork rinds. [/left] [*][left]Deer heads detract from the decor. [/left] [*][left]Spitting is such a nasty habit. [/left] [*][left]I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. [/left] [*][left]Trim the fat off that steak. [/left] [*][left]Cappuccino tastes better than espresso. [/left] [*][left]The tires on that truck are too big. [/left] [*][left]I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad. [/left] [*][left] I've got it all on a floppy disk. [/left] [*][left]Unsweetened tea tastes better. [/left] [*][left]Would you like you fish poached or broiled? [/left] [*][left]My fianc?e, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's. [/left] [*][left]I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl. [/left] [*][left]Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams. [/left] [*][left]Checkmate. [/left] [*][left]She's too old to be wearing a bikini. [/left] [*][left]Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? [/left] [*][left]Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. [/left] [*][left]I don't have a favorite college team. [/left] [*][left]Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. [/left] [*][left]I believe you cooked those green beans too long. [/left] [*][left]Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. [/left] [*][left]Elvis who? [/left] [/list]

DDSoWal Expertgrapevine, tx. /On the road to SoWal23,871 postsJoined Aug 29, '05View profile MessageSoWal Expert

May 10, '06 · 10:11 PM610

"I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
Duct tape won't fix that.
Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
You can't feed that to the dog.
I thought Graceland was tacky.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Wrasslin's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my hair is too big?
I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
Who's Richard Petty?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad.
I've got it all on a floppy disk.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Would you like you fish poached or broiled?
My fianc?e, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
Checkmate.
She's too old to be wearing a bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Elvis who?

Replies

InletBchDweller InletBchDweller avatar

InletBchDwellerSoWal InsiderPrairieville, La6,802 postsJoined Feb 14, '06View profile MessageSoWal Insider

May 10, '06 · 10:17 PM#2

:clap_1: :clap_1: :clap_1:

Sheila

SheilaSoWal InsiderSnellville, GA., Seacrest/Seagrove as often as we 5,781 postsJoined Jan 13, '05View profile MessageSoWal Insider

May 10, '06 · 10:32 PM#3

Not in this lifetime! :clap_1::clap_1::clap_1:

audie

audiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined May 15, '05View profile Messagefartblossom

May 11, '06 · 12:19 AM#4

:rolling:

Miss Kitty Miss Kitty avatar

Miss KittyMeow47,011 postsJoined Jun 10, '05View profile MessageMeow

May 11, '06 · 6:02 AM#5

:lolabove: ...God Bless us!!!

Allifunn

AllifunnFunnChef - AlisonCooks.comSt Petersburg13,635 postsJoined Jan 11, '06View profile MessageFunnChef - AlisonCooks.com

May 11, '06 · 7:55 AM#6

:floor: :floor: :floor: a good laugh on a rainey day in paradise.

audie

audiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined May 15, '05View profile Messagefartblossom

May 11, '06 · 8:09 AM#7

you must know the clampitts that are staying in this area !!

audie

audiefartblossom10,946 postsJoined May 15, '05View profile Messagefartblossom

May 11, '06 · 8:10 AM#8

:floor: :floor: :floor: a good laugh on a rainey day in paradise.

mr audie and i find it ironic that the only 2 blotches of rain on the national radar are over indiana, and the house here !:idontno:

seagrovelover seagrovelover avatar

seagroveloverlittle sugarSt Louis Missouri2,984 postsJoined Jan 12, '05View profile Messagelittle sugar

May 11, '06 · 11:41 AM#9

LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :floor:

kathydwells kathydwells avatar

kathydwellsDarlene is my middle name, not my nicknameLacey's Spring, Alabama13,303 postsJoined Dec 20, '04View profile MessageDarlene is my middle name, not my nickname

May 11, '06 · 12:45 PM#10

Loved it DD !!!!!