Walton County Legalizes Gay Marriage
Linda Betts couldn?t believe her eyes Sunday morning as she scanned the local paper, "I was reading the Walton County Commission Meeting Report, like I do every week; and there it was -Walton County Approves Gay Marriage Proposal. I thought to myself, this can?t be true, can it?"
It is. Or sort of.
It seems that the county records do show the approval of a Gay Marriage proposal, but there?s a twist.
The story begins when Bob and Martha Wendel, of Freeport decided to open a quaint little Bayfront Wedding Chapel on their Choctawhatchee bayfront property. The property isn?t zoned for business however and so the Wendels had to petition the county for a zoning variance.
The variance was placed before the County Commissioners as the Bay Wedding Proposal.
And that is where our story goes awry.
It seems that Walton County Government, like all employers in the area, is feeling the pinch from a lack of qualified workers. The lack of affordable housing is cited as the primary reason most area businesses report difficulty in attracting, and retaining employees. It is widely seen as the greatest threat to growth in our area.
The county had recently hired Ms. Jo-Anna Crawford of Paxton, to act as Clerk of Records for the county, even though Ms. Crawford had not graduated high school and reads at a 4th grade level. "She was the only person we could find, to be honest" said personnel director Sandy Pinkerton.
It seems that Ms. Crawford incorrectly entered the approved proposal as the ?Gay Wedding Amendment."
"It cout happen to enybawdy", Ms. Crawford explain, "them letters is jus next ta each othern on the keyboard. Sides, I runned the spel checker on it, wern?t no problems wit it."
County Commissioners were quick to schedule an emergency meeting for next Tuesday to address the issue.
"This unfortunate incident has opened our eyes to what is clearly a HUGE problem here in Walton County and we will move aggressively to fix it." Commissioner Bailey said. "The future growth of the area depends on our creative solutions. When pressed to clarify, the commissioner explained that he was, of course talking about addressing the growing homosexual menace, not affordable housing."
"If I'd knowed I waz helpin the faggets, I word've kilt myself." ,Ms. Crawford
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