The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER:Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS:Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Wow, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE:Here, have some chocolate
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one
13. Potential Murder Suspect
Replies
34
SoWal Expert
Kiss my A$$! You think you are funny????
Pass My freakin' sweatpants or I will kill you.
;-)
Pass My freakin' sweatpants or I will kill you. ;-)
directionally challenged
SJ, I'm surprised at you:nono1: . Did you have an argument with one of your midget girlfriends? (sorry couldn't resist).
OK, I take it back right now but be good or you're gonna get slammed by all these PMS women :rofl:
OK, I take it back right now but be good or you're gonna get slammed by all these PMS women :rofl:
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
OH Wait SJ, you forgot my favorite line during that "time". BITE ME !!!!!! 
SoWal ExpertAuthor
SJ, I'm surprised at you:nono1: . Did you have an argument with one of your midget girlfriends? (sorry couldn't resist).
OK, I take it back right now but be good or you're gonna get slammed by all these PMS women :rofl:
Actually, it was given to me by a female, and she says that it is critical that every man know this guide and that it, "should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet..."
So are you ladies bringing up "Rule 2 (from The Rules): The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification?"
SoWal Insider
You try getting PMS and put on one of those pads with "wings," then fly off the roof laughing hysterically while riding your broom. :nono1:
It's not easy.
It's not easy.
SoWal Insider
You're jumping up and down on my last nerve SJ 
You better have some chocolate to calm me down.
You better have some chocolate to calm me down.
SoWal Insider
One you missed. My son asked FBB long ago, "Dad what does PMS mean?" Without one seconds hesitation he replied, "Possesed Monthly by Satan, son."
I didn't laugh right away.
I didn't laugh right away.
SoWal ExpertAuthor
You're jumping up and down on my last nerve SJ
SoWal Insider
One you missed. My son asked FBB long ago, "Dad what does PMS mean?" Without one seconds hesitation he replied, "Possesed Monthly by Satan, son."
I didn't laugh right away.
...and is he still alive? Is he bruised or lumpy from this statement?SoWal Insider
That should take care of me. Tell that skinny chick to put the chocolate down and back out of the room for her own safety
Beach Fanatic
It seems to me that this guy sticks up for you ladies all the time and he gets sh** for having some fun. What's up with that?
SoWal ExpertAuthor
It seems to me that this guy sticks up for you ladies all the time and he gets sh** for having some fun. What's up with that?It was my fault. I forgot to give them chocolate. :funn:
SoWal Insider
Yeah. I let him live. I'm sure he prayed for death a few times. But we all survived it.
Beach Fanatic
It was my fault. I forgot to give them chocolate. :funn:Awful mean and rotten of you but funny:funn:
Meow
OH Wait SJ, you forgot my favorite line during that "time". BITE ME !!!!!!
and the ever popular and my favorite...STFU!!!
I applaud you SJ for this PSA. Now, what do we do with men that are OTR?
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
and the ever popular and my favorite...STFU!!!
I applaud you SJ for this PSA. Now, what do we do with men that are OTR?
I so forgot about STFU...yes, another one of my favorites!
I better not answer the "men OTR" right now...it hits a little to close to home for me.
Edited
superJfunn
jerk :roll: i hate chocolate
SoWal ExpertAuthor
jerk :roll: i hate chocolateAt my risk of getting Biotch-Slapped, ...
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
At my risk of getting Biotch-Slapped, ...
OH SNAP!!!!!
Meow
Midol, SJ, Midol.
SoWal Insider
At my risk of getting Biotch-Slapped, ...
Didn't you mean this?
Edited
Meow
:clap_1: ...great minds think alike!!!
brain
How convenient that you posted this Sminling JOe...as of today I am no longer single.
SoWal Insider
How convenient that you posted this Sminling JOe...as of today I am no longer single.
Ok...spill it....we want the details!
Beach Fanatic
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