Misty avatar
Banned
62,566 views1


An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey . He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

Replies

819
Teresa avatar
SoWal Guide
#2
LOL. good one.
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#3
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd really like to ride in that helicopter.'

Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'

To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy manoeuvres, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'
Jimmy T avatar
Beach Fanatic
#4
Three sisters age 92, 94 and 96 live in a house together.
One night the 96 year old draws a bath, puts her foot in and pauses.
She yells down the stairs, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94 year old yells back, "I don't know, I'll come up and see."
She starts up the stairs and pauses, then she yells,
"Was I going up the stairs or coming down?"
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having tea
listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says,
"I sure hope I never get that forgetful." She knocks
on wood for good measure. She then yells,
"I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see
who's at the door."
Leader of the Banned avatar
Beach Fanatic
#5
A priest, a mullah and a rabbi walk into a bar. Bartender looks and them ands says "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Will B avatar
Moderator
#7
Had to wait a bit for the payoff, but it's funny.
Matt J avatar
SWGB
#8
Link doesn't work anymore.
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#9
Hmmm,
It won't allow me to add the link here either.

Try this...go to FB search for Mike Jacobs, click the first one of the little girl..wait for it.

Click the first video. Can't believe the guy didn't youtube this, He could have made money on the video, it has over 380,706 shares,

Edited

Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#10
Cornbread anyone?


P.S. Danny Glidewell says this is how his daughter cooks!! Roflmao!
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#11
Not sure which is cuter!

Will B avatar
Moderator
#121
Baby Aspirin

Baby Aspirin.jpg
Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#13
Man, talk about a drug problem...
Will B avatar
Moderator
#14
Man, talk about a drug problem...

Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water.
Matt J avatar
SWGB
#15
Why, my Uncle Thumper had a problem with HIS probate, and he had to take these big pills, and drink lots of water.

That's a well written will.
Lake View Too avatar
SoWal Insider
#16
Will B what will be.
JoeWormwood avatar
Beach Lover
#17
Probate, prostate. It's all the same. You're gonna need medication.
JoeWormwood avatar
Beach Lover
#18
Hey, did you hear about the new reality show about the transsexual community? It's called "Parts Unknown". :floor::clap::rofl:
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#19
Will B avatar
Moderator
#20
That's a well written will.

Thank. ..can't take credit for Who Framed Roger Tabbit, though! One of the more memorable lines...
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#21
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#22
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#23
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#24
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#25
Misty avatar
BannedAuthor
#26

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