Those were great!!!! I have a couple to share!
The Wailing Wall
In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about
a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray,
twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time.
So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to
leave, she approached him for an interview.
"I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you
been coming to the Wall and praying?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and
the Muslims. I pray for all thr hatred to stop and I pray for all our
children to grow up in safety and friendship."
"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"
"Like I'm talking to a fuc**** wall."
_____________________________________________________
The Costume Party
The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife went up to him and, being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband. After more drinks he finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate sex in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, ?Did you dance much?" He replied, I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening." You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your brother, apparently he had the time of his life!
). Merman is a stealth bomber of the comedian world. He's really quiet--hard to get a word in edgewise when there's a Mermaid around--and then, wop! when you least expect it he delivers a one-liner that takes your breath away. The man has an amazing element of surprise in him. Keeps me on my toes. 
