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The Purina Diet

Sandcastle avatar
Beach Fanatic
890 views
The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no.. ...I'd been sitting in the street licking my b*lls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

Replies

21
bsmart avatar
brain
#2
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! :lolabove:
audie avatar
fartblossom
#3
:rofl:
jessifunn avatar
superJfunn
#4
you don't have a labrador retriever :roll:
Beach Fanatic
#5
BWHAAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Franny avatar
Beach Fanatic
#6
Ha Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :lolabove: :floor: :floor: :lolabove:
TripleB avatar
Beach Fanatic
#7
That explains why I haven't been getting much action lately. Mrs.TripleB has started the Meow Mix diet. Sorry..i'm a verrrry bad boy..slap...slap
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#8
That explains why I haven't been getting much action lately. Mrs.TripleB has started the Meow Mix diet. Sorry..i'm a verrrry bad boy..slap...slap

😱

:floor:
Allifunn avatar
FunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#9
:rofl: :floor: :rofl: :floor: Good one SandC
kathydwells avatar
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
#10
That explains why I haven't been getting much action lately. Mrs.TripleB has started the Meow Mix diet. Sorry..i'm a verrrry bad boy..slap...slap

:nono1: :funn: Will she share? The Meow Mix, I mean. :floor:
seagrovelover avatar
little sugar
#11
Sand C....if this diet would really work I just bet there would be tons of people out there to try it!!!!!!!!!!!! :floor: :floor: :floor:
Allifunn avatar
FunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#12
Sand C....if this diet would really work I just bet there would be tons of people out there to try it!!!!!!!!!!!! :floor: :floor: :floor:
As long as you stay out of the road!:floor:
Bobby J avatar
Beach Fanatic
#13
I must say that I for one would try the diet. I do not need to lose any weght but the thought of licking my own b*lls is appealling 😀
Allifunn avatar
FunnChef - AlisonCooks.com
#14
I must say that I for one would try the diet. I do not need to lose any weght but the thought of licking my own b*lls is appealling 😀
:roll: Typical male......:funn:
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#15
:nono1: :funn: Will she share? The Meow Mix, I mean. :floor:

What happened to the rabbit food diet??:idontno:
kathydwells avatar
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
#16
What happened to the rabbit food diet??:idontno:

What rabbit food diet? What am I forgetting jenay???
Jdarg avatar
SoWal Expert
#17
What rabbit food diet? What am I forgetting jenay???

The rabbits that are always discussed!
kathydwells avatar
Darlene is my middle name, not my nickname
#18
The rabbits that are always discussed!

Well DUH. :doh: My most prized possessions, how could I forget!!!
InletBchDweller avatar
SoWal Insider
#19
I must say that I for one would try the diet. I do not need to lose any weght but the thought of licking my own b*lls is appealling 😀

Mr. IBD said that dogs r lucky.....:floor:
Beach Fanatic
#20
:popcorn:


Mr. IBD said that dogs r lucky.....:floor:
DD avatar
SoWal Expert
#21
I must say that I for one would try the diet. I do not need to lose any weght but the thought of licking my own b*lls is appealling 😀

:floor: :rofl:
Sandcastle avatar
Beach FanaticAuthor
#22
you don't have a labrador retriever :roll:

Well, we almost have a Yorkiepoo. It will be fully cooked on August 18.:clap_1: Brighteyes will have some competition.:(

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