Thursday Funny

[scooterbug44]

Courtesy of Papa Scooterbug! :roll:

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.


The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."


"Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."


Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles.


The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10:00 A.M. every day."


The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 A.M. to 4:00 P.M., why don't you want me here until 10:00 A.M.?"

"This is a government job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

 

[sunspotbaby]

 

[Teresa]

balls.









:funn:

 

[Matt J]

The U.S. Government, we do less before 9AM than the dead do all day.

 

[DuneLaker]

Thanks, Papa Scooterbug. The smile for the day. And thanks for sharing Scooty.

 

[DD]

 

[Lynnie]

Good funny, scooterbug~~~~
One of those lingering smile ones~~~~~~

 

[sunspotbaby]

*****es 'til the End !



The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer and you'd best put your affairs in order.'


The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.


'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.


After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'


'Because I don't want any of those *****es sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'


And THAT, my friends, is what is called,
'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'

 

[Matt J]

 

[Teresa]

*****es 'til the End !



The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad news. You have cancer and you'd best put your affairs in order.'


The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.


'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.


After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'


'Because I don't want any of those *****es sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'


And THAT, my friends, is what is called,
'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'