Top this one?

nope. I can't top that one. 😱

are they suppose to be gross out stories?

I think you started AND stopped it! OMG! Did the dog ever want to go near the ocean again?

Inspired from another thread, I thought it would be funn to play Top This One.
If you have a better short story or snip-it than the last one posted, please share it. 😀 :idontno:

Now I need a story. :scratch:
Okay, this one time, when I was in Band Camp... :nono1: No, that wasn't me. :scratch:
When we first moved to the beach, we took our dog to the Gulf where he played for at least an hour, biting the waves and drinking the salt water. Suddenly, he began to look sick. He sat down momentarily then arose. He looked at me then puked out the salt water. It flowed like a fire hydrant. Then, without warning, the salt water sprayed out the back end too. :shock: He looked like a Roman fountain spewing at both ends. That was a long night that followed.

Can you top this story? :idontno: Let's here it. (real stories only, please)

This may take a while I'm laughin too dam hard

Back in the day, my mom had a striped cat named Polka Dot. Well, Polka Dot had kittens and kept them in the cold basement, right next to the warm dryer. So, Polka Dot led all the wee ones into the warm dryer, Grandma transferred all the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer and, of course, the end result was furry underwear. 😱

I was never allowed to have a cat.

That poor dog! This won't top that story, but one day I had Molly up on our bed and she was sitting on an almost brand new duvet cover. All of a sudden, I heard that noise that tells you something is coming up. Instinctively, I put my hands under her mouth and she threw up in them not once, but twice! Score!

:clap_1:

Back in the day, my mom had a striped cat named Polka Dot. Well, Polka Dot had kittens and kept them in the cold basement, right next to the warm dryer. So, Polka Dot led all the wee ones into the warm dryer, Grandma transferred all the wet clothes from the washer to the dryer and, of course, the end result was furry underwear. 😱

I was never allowed to have a cat.

(and yes, that dog still loves the Gulf waters. I think he forgets quickly. If you ever see a dog running up and down the beach biting the waves, that would be one of my dogs. 😀)

Inspired from another thread, I thought it would be funn to play Top This One.
If you have a better short story or snip-it than the last one posted, please share it. 😀 :idontno:

Now I need a story. :scratch:
Okay, this one time, when I was in Band Camp... :nono1: No, that wasn't me. :scratch:
When we first moved to the beach, we took our dog to the Gulf where he played for at least an hour, biting the waves and drinking the salt water. Suddenly, he began to look sick. He sat down momentarily then arose. He looked at me then puked out the salt water. It flowed like a fire hydrant. Then, without warning, the salt water sprayed out the back end too. :shock: He looked like a Roman fountain spewing at both ends. That was a long night that followed.

Can you top this story? :idontno: Let's here it. (real stories only, please)

:floor: Can't top it. Poor Thing. That was a bitter sweet one.

I don't know that Polka Dot tops the Roman Fountain, but...

My dad always tells a great story...Growing up in Long Beach, all his crazy fraternity buddies were just that, crazy. Anyway, one dude had his family all set to go on vacation and were running late, of course, still in their car trying to get to a parking deck. If you have ever been to the LAX, you know it is a complete ZOO. Anyway, dude weighed his options. Either miss the flight, pay for 4 more pricey tickets to vacation point and arrive late or don't miss the flight. Well, the choice was clearly don't miss it. On the count, the whole family jumped out, grabbed all the luggage and ran to make the flight, just leaving the car. It was cheaper to have the car impounded than to buy more tickets.

But can you imagine the people in front of you just bolting in the middle of a traffic jam? I would be peeved, but if I was doing the bolting it would be a different story.

well, this is my grossest story. way back when in highschool, my sister and I were "riding around" with a group of buddies (girls/guys) all doing some experimental liquor drinking (quite a bit if I remember correctly). We were just having a blast laughing and driving all over Birmingham (probably all smoking cigs without exception) - we didn't have designated drivers in the late 70's. Anyway, I'm riding in the front passenger seat with at least two other people, and my sis is riding in the back with several others. She is sitting directly behind me and leans up and throws up all over my head and down my back with absolutely no warning whatsover. end of story.

yuck!!!!!!!!!!

I guess one should not read this while he is eating dinner. :puke:

WTF...I've had a boring life...no story to tell...I have had sex in some interesting places though 😀

WTF...I've had a boring life...no story to tell...I have had sex in some interesting places though 😀

:nono1:

Inspired from another thread, I thought it would be funn to play Top This One.
If you have a better short story or snip-it than the last one posted, please share it. 😀 :idontno:

Now I need a story. :scratch:
Okay, this one time, when I was in Band Camp... :nono1: No, that wasn't me. :scratch:
When we first moved to the beach, we took our dog to the Gulf where he played for at least an hour, biting the waves and drinking the salt water. Suddenly, he began to look sick. He sat down momentarily then arose. He looked at me then puked out the salt water. It flowed like a fire hydrant. Then, without warning, the salt water sprayed out the back end too. :shock: He looked like a Roman fountain spewing at both ends. That was a long night that followed.

Can you top this story? :idontno: Let's here it. (real stories only, please)

Yes I can.....that crap you drink prior to a colonoscopy makes you do the exact same thing, you know what happens the next day, then the bill is about 1K. Your dog is better off!

Yes I can.....that crap you drink prior to a colonoscopy makes you do the exact same thing, you know what happens the next day, then the bill is about 1K. Your dog is better off!

So you were spurting out both ends too? :floor::floor::floor:...and the doctor charged you $1000 for the Epsom Salt and water? :funn:You know he is loving life.

:nono1:

:oops: :oops: :oops:

So you were spurting out both ends too? :floor::floor::floor:...and the doctor charged you $1000 for the Epsom Salt and water? :funn:You know he is loving life.

Yes, "butt" I'm healthy!!!

Oh, I have a story.

I have had TWO occasions in my life where I have been in the same room with other adults when someone defecated in their pants. (Yes, you read right.) Once was when I was a senior in high school taking my final exam, and the other time was 10 yrs. later when I was in a conference room in a meeting with about 10 engineers, and the same thing happened again! And no, this was not the same person. I remember in both situations, watching in total disbelief, the individual being escorted out. (Obviously, these 2 people were seriously "troubled" at the time.)

Believe me, I'll never forget these 2 events for as long as I live. Mr. JR & my son think this is the most bizarre thing - to have witnessed this twice in one's life!

Well, there it is. It's not pretty, but you specified... "can you top this?"

Jdarg--DO NOT READ!

Mr. dd tells this story from his college days when he "was a steel worker." He says there was a guy on their crew who had a particularly weak stomach and they used to "give him the business" all the time--trying to gross him out. Well, one day, they were all in their little trailer eating lunch sometime close to Thanksgiving. The supervisor had pumpkin pie for dessert. He told the guys, "watch this" and spead the pumpkin pie on his boot. The guy came in and they just kept eating their lunch. Pretty soon, the supervisor looks down at his boot and says, "dang, what's that? Looks like s**t." Gets some on his finger and smells, "smells like s**t", licks his finger--"It IS S**T!" The guy ran outside and barfed for a long period of time. Of course, they laughed and laughed and never let him forget it.

hey, I don't make 'em up, I just pass 'em along..........

Inspired from another thread, I thought it would be funn to play Top This One.
If you have a better short story or snip-it than the last one posted, please share it. 😀 :idontno:



Can you top this story? :idontno: Let's here it. (real stories only, please)

:idontno: I :scratch: and I :scratch: and I :scratch: ...but...nuthin' :idontno: guess I'll have to make-up for lost time :clap_1: starting with NY & kf! 😀