Who Is Your Child, Anyway? From The College Board

[ItzKatzTime]

From The College Board....I thought this was a great article. And, even though it came to sophmore parents I believe this is helpful for children of all ages.

Who Is Your Child, Anyway?


It happens all the time. Somewhere, in their desire to make sure their children get a great education and every opportunity for growth, parents lose sight of who those children really are. You might imagine your child arguing cases in court or taking over the family business, but your child's true path may lie elsewhere.


How can you really get to know your child? As with any relationship, the key is strong communication. Once you start a meaningful dialogue, you and your child can explore values, goals, and interests?together.


Letting go of your own plans for your child's future can help you enjoy the person your child is today. Taking time now to listen to your child's dreams helps you become a trusted ally.

Getting to know your child

 

[ShallowsNole]

Katz, did this come in the mail or did they give it to them at school? I'd like to track down the full article.

 

[ItzKatzTime]

It comes in my e-mail. When my daughter took the PSAT they sent a link to join. She gets one and I get one. Mine are geared to the parents and hers is geared to where she is now and what to do for the upcoming years....all about college, SAT's, how to prepare and register. It is really informative. Keeps us in the know.

Do you want me to e-mail it to you. If so send me a pm.

 

[Jdarg]

It comes in my e-mail. When my daughter took the PSAT they sent a link to join. She gets one and I get one. Mine are geared to the parents and hers is geared to where she is now and what to do for the upcoming years....all about college, SAT's, how to prepare and register. It is really informative. Keeps us in the know.

Do you want me to e-mail it to you. If so send me a pm.

Or you can go to :: College Planning Made Easy | Inside Source for College Admissions Requirements and register- they have lots of great info! We get a SAT question every morning in the inbox- it has become the geeky Darg family challenge.

 

[ItzKatzTime]

Or you can go to :: College Planning Made Easy | Inside Source for College Admissions Requirements and register- they have lots of great info! We get a SAT question every morning in the inbox- it has become the geeky Darg family challenge.

Thanks jdarg I couldn't get it to come up as a link. Don't you love having all that information at your fingertips.

 

[ShallowsNole]

Thanks y'all - I'll do the link from home. I only vaguely remember squirt taking the PSAT, and obviously he didn't mention anything to me (and if it was in his backpack, see ya, goodbye).

 

[Rudyjohn]

I get emails everyday from the Collegeboard. Good stuff.

 

[Beach Runner]

It happens all the time. Somewhere, in their desire to make sure their children get a great education and every opportunity for growth, parents lose sight of who those children really are. Letting go of your own plans for your child's future can help you enjoy the person your child is today. Taking time now to listen to your child's dreams helps you become a trusted ally.

Amen! Our daughter is so smart that everyone, including us, her teachers, and a college consultant we hired in Atlanta, planned for her destiny at an Ivy or MIT. When she showed joy doing art, we just thought of that as an avocation.

She wasn't happy at MIT. Lots of reasons. That cost her time because Georgia Tech didn't accept all of her hours (not the physics "because they teach it differently at MIT"), not all of the math hours ("because their calculus is 6 hours, and we only allow 4" even though Calc I and II at MIT is equivalent to Calc I, II, and III at Georgia Tech), etc.. She changed majors after one semester at Georgia Tech. That cost her time.

Then she told us last summer that all she had ever wanted was to be an art major. She is an art major now and is very happy. Her prof told her today that she is incredibly gifted. We are glad she has found her calling.

But time is money. A year at MIT cost us $40,000 -- they give no merit scholarships because they say everyone has merit if they get into MIT, so all scholarships are need-based. Then the time lost due to changing majors at Georgia Tech, plus the two years to pursue a totally different major.

Bottom line: Ask your child what s/he truly wants to do. Don't assume they want to go to a highly-ranked school just because they can. Tell them that you want them to be happy, not live up to the expections of others. Happiness is more important than prestige.

I realize that this is very personal, but maybe some of you can learn from our mistakes. It will make your child happier, and it will be less costly.

 

[ItzKatzTime]

Amen! Our daughter is so smart that everyone, including us, her teachers, and a college consultant we hired in Atlanta, planned for her destiny at an Ivy or MIT. When she showed joy doing art, we just thought of that as an avocation.

She wasn't happy at MIT. Lots of reasons. That cost her time because Georgia Tech didn't accept all of her hours (not the physics "because they teach it differently at MIT"), not all of the math hours ("because their calculus is 6 hours, and we only allow 4" even though Calc I and II at MIT is equivalent to Calc I, II, and III at Georgia Tech), etc.. She changed majors after one semester at Georgia Tech. That cost her time.

Then she told us last summer that all she had ever wanted was to be an art major. She is an art major now and is very happy. Her prof told her today that she is incredibly gifted. We are glad she has found her calling.

But time is money. A year at MIT cost us $40,000 -- they give no merit scholarships because they say everyone has merit if they get into MIT, so all scholarships are need-based. Then the time lost due to changing majors at Georgia Tech, plus the two years to pursue a totally different major.

Bottom line: Ask your child what s/he truly wants to do. Don't assume they want to go to a highly-ranked school just because they can. Tell them that you want them to be happy, not live up to the expections of others. Happiness is more important than prestige.

I realize that this is very personal, but maybe some of you can learn from our mistakes. It will make your child happier, and it will be less costly.

Thanks BR I love that your daughter chose what she really wanted to do. That makes for a much happier person as they live their adult life.

 

[Rudyjohn]

Amen! Our daughter is so smart that everyone, including us, her teachers, and a college consultant we hired in Atlanta, planned for her destiny at an Ivy or MIT. When she showed joy doing art, we just thought of that as an avocation.

She wasn't happy at MIT. Lots of reasons. That cost her time because Georgia Tech didn't accept all of her hours (not the physics "because they teach it differently at MIT"), not all of the math hours ("because their calculus is 6 hours, and we only allow 4" even though Calc I and II at MIT is equivalent to Calc I, II, and III at Georgia Tech), etc.. She changed majors after one semester at Georgia Tech. That cost her time.

Then she told us last summer that all she had ever wanted was to be an art major. She is an art major now and is very happy. Her prof told her today that she is incredibly gifted. We are glad she has found her calling.

But time is money. A year at MIT cost us $40,000 -- they give no merit scholarships because they say everyone has merit if they get into MIT, so all scholarships are need-based. Then the time lost due to changing majors at Georgia Tech, plus the two years to pursue a totally different major.

Bottom line: Ask your child what s/he truly wants to do. Don't assume they want to go to a highly-ranked school just because they can. Tell them that you want them to be happy, not live up to the expections of others. Happiness is more important than prestige.

I realize that this is very personal, but maybe some of you can learn from our mistakes. It will make your child happier, and it will be less costly.

Agreed here on this end. My son announced 2 years ago that he never, ever wanted to do what his dad does (engineering) and sit at a desk all day long. Almost his words exactly. Of course, we already knew that but we had to let him make the discovery.

It's true, we all worry that our kids will be poor and never be able to afford health insurance but the most important thing is that they be happy! Seriously, poor and happy is way better than poor and miserable.