Filene's Basement Sale and the Two Dollar Chuck lane

[traderx]

Shortly after I relocated to the People?s Republic of Massachusetts, back there when I was in the corporate world, a business associate pulled me off to the side to ?educate? this poor Southerner on the ways of Bostonians. There are three ironclad rules to live by said my buddy:

• Filene?s is a local department store. Periodically, they have a basement sale and women line up outside the doors for days. Never allow yourself to get within three blocks of Filene?s on the day of the sale. A guy from Utah walked by at the wrong time and he was trampled and stampeded. They had to use hair samples to run his DNA to prove his identity;
• When someone says ?thank you?, never never never say ?you?re welcome? or some other weak, nonsensical Southern reply. You say ?yep?. ?Yep?? ?Yes, yep?;
• When you enter a rotary, never never never let the other guy see you looking at him. It requires the ability to look at other drivers with your eyes. No head movement is allowed. If they see you see them, you are regarded as weak and scared and you are theirs and they will take the right of way. There was a guy from West Virginia who got stuck on the Rt. 2 rotary for seven hours. He finally ran out of gas and they rear-ended him. His car blew up and well, the rest is history.

When my friend was finished, I really did not know what to say. I wanted to ask: what is a rotary, but it somehow seemed rude. I wondered if I were too polite to survive in Boston. So, I simply said what comes natural:

?Thank you?.

?Yep?.

So, fast forward to a few days ago. My son asked if I wanted to go to Trader Joe?s. I had only been one other time and honestly, have never been able to understand the big deal with Trader Joe?s. We walked into the store and my son headed for the aisle where they store the salad dressings and sauces and stuff. I decided to just stand off to the side of the main aisle. I had heard about Two Dollar Chuck so I thought I would see how many bottles folks carried to the register. I could not have been there more than ten seconds when all of a sudden, I was knocked to the floor. I heard a woman yell, ?They are out of Merlot; better hurry if you want the Shiraz.? Next thing I know, as I tried to stand up, two hundred women knocked me down and trampled me. One was carrying a blue cloth bag and I figured she was she letter carrier and had brought mail to Trader Joe?s but the bag was filled with heavy hard things (later, I discovered it was a bunch of wine bottles) and she knocked me down with the bottles and almost knocked me out.

My son found my crumpled body. I was still in a stupor.

?What happened Dad??

?Well, I?m not sure. There must have been two hundred women running towards the wine boxes over there?.

?Dad, you were standing in the Two Dollar Chuck lane! Never never never stand in the lane between the front doors and the wine boxes.?

?What is Two Dollar Chuck??

?It?s wine that cost two dollar per bottle?.

?It cannot be that good, right??

?I don?t know Dad. They seem to love it?.

I finally got my balance and what was left of my senses and we walked to the cashier lane. We took the long way, ever mindful of the fast lane known as TDC Lane. I never did get within three blocks of Filene?s so I cannot compare the terror of Trader Joe?s to Filene?s but the Filene?s crowd had better wear their game face to compete with the Two Dollar Chuck warriors.

Live and learn I always say.

The cashier had seen everything and asked if I were okay.

?Yes, I am. Thank you.?

?Yep.?

 

[sunspotbaby]

Get your butt to the South. We still say "you're welcome"

 

[Mermaid]

I grew up in New England. My first job was at Filene's. I bought my first (and only) Emmanuel Ungaro from the Basement. I got my wedding band from E.B. Horn across the street from the the Basement. When we moved away from Boston to Atlanta, I used to carry home sacks of groceries from Trader Joe's because we didn't have one down South. Sometimes the back seat had more TJ groceries than luggage on it.

We're going to Chicago over Easter and I most certainly plan on a stop at the Basement on the Mag Mile. Gotta get my fix!

 

[aggieb]

tx.
best thread i've read in a long time.

 

[scooterbug44]

They've got Filene's Basement in Chicago too, but there people say "you're welcome". Stampedes to get into sales have nothing on a group dressing room for honing your survival instinct once you find the item.

Per a family friend, you go into the liquor store, buy a bottle of $2 Chuck, then open and taste it in the parking lot. If it's good, you go back in and buy a case. If not, better luck next time and use that for cooking!

 

[DD]

All of this lingo is totally foreign to me, but great thread tx!!!

 

[traderx]

Thanks for the feedback.

I had a fever today and really believe I was somewhat delirious when I wrote the post. I was going to delete it but there were a couple of quick posts so I let it stand. I was not chewing on 'shrooms, honest. :shock:

The first part about Boston is absolutely true. Second part, maybe a little literary license although I did find myself aggressively bumped in the TDC lane at Trader Joe's one day.

 

[Miss Kitty]

Thanks for the feedback.

I had a fever today and really believe I was somewhat delirious when I wrote the post. I was going to delete it but there were a couple of quick posts so I let it stand. I was not chewing on 'shrooms, honest. :shock:

The first part about Boston is absolutely true. Second part, maybe a little literary license although I did find myself aggressively bumped in the TDC lane at Trader Joe's one day.

...nothing better than traderx on a combo, or not! Loved it!
...misery loves company...I am a bit infirmed, as well. Sure hope you feel better.

 

[Lynnie]

I think it's Two Buck Chuck, right Aggieb?? I wonder if that woman gave you a concussion?

Southern men in the north are funny.....my brother was pummelled when he opened the door for a woman.....this was during the 80's and I thinks the movement was still something strong and raw.

Yep!

Cheers~

Yep!

 

[traderx]

Two Buck Chuck sounds better. The first time I heard the expression, I thought it meant ground chuck.

For two bucks, it cannot be very good, right? I realize it is not Shafer Hillside Select but is it even drinkable? Or do they use the bottles as paperweights or objects d'art?

Yes, I was almost attacked in Boston for holding doors. I tried to explain that I was from the South and holding doors and such is in my DNA. It did not go over well. I don't want to talk about it. :shock: