Jury Summons Question

Look engaged and make the appropriate facial gestures when the B.S. starts in earnest. Your lack of bovine behavior will have you out of there without the overt T-shirt. Justice in our country is determined by manipulation and money, not intelligence.

Sorry! You want jury duty???? Drool on yourself, and move your lips while reading printed materials. Your in!

Sorry! You want jury duty???? Drool on yourself, and move your lips while reading printed materials. Your in!

I just added a to the end of my post, to clear up that confusion.

that might work for the prosecution

Maybe my shirt could be more subtle and read, something like:

- freedom

- gov't sucks

- pick me

- legalize pot and prostitution

- down with Whitey

- or maybe my signature line

Maybe my shirt could be more subtle and read, something like:

- freedom

- gov't sucks

- pick me

- legalize pot and prostitution

- down with Whitey

- or maybe my signature line

:funn:

or:

- "I just love me some Jury Duty"

or:

- "I just love me some Jury Duty"

or:

"Take a gamble on me."

Maybe " who dun it??"

Maybe a tie dyed or air brush tee that says, "If the glove don't fit you have to acquit. "

Maybe a tie dyed or air brush tee that says, "If the glove don't fit you have to acquit. "

LOVE IT!

I had to go a little bit ago - I didn't get picked but I showed up. I was really surprised at how casual most people dressed. Way more t-shirts and flip flops than I expected. I know if is the beach in all - but it was a little shocking.

I had to go a little bit ago - I didn't get picked but I showed up. I was really surprised at how casual most people dressed. Way more t-shirts and flip flops than I expected. I know if is the beach in all - but it was a little shocking.

I, too, recently had to drive up to Defuniak, in the pouring rain, to find out immediately upon my arrival, that the case was dropped, and they sent me home. The trivial amount of money which they paid everyone to show up, which didn't even cover gas money, could have been saved with a phone call. I'm sure on the large scale it adds up. They wasted my entire day, as I had blocked out several days in my calendar, just in case I had to sit in the box. The last time I actual went through the selection, I wore a suit, as I had came directly from work. I was one of the first selected. I'll never wear a suit again. I'm thinking overalls and a straw hat, with that very inquisitive look on my face, which screams, "I think he did it." Anyone have a wife-beater that they can loan me?

I, too, recently had to drive up to Defuniak, in the pouring rain, to find out immediately upon my arrival, that the case was dropped, and they sent me home. The trivial amount of money which they paid everyone to show up, which didn't even cover gas money, could have been saved with a phone call. I'm sure on the large scale it adds up. They wasted my entire day, as I had blocked out several days in my calendar, just in case I had to sit in the box. The last time I actual went through the selection, I wore a suit, as I had came directly from work. I was one of the first selected. I'll never wear a suit again. I'm thinking overalls and a straw hat, with that very inquisitive look on my face, which screams, "I think he did it." Anyone have a wife-beater that they can loan me?

Well, there is a Wall-Mart on the way up there. Breeze through and I'm sure you'll have lots of options. As an added bonus you could cut most or all of the sleeves off (if you don't pick a wife beater). And bring something really odd to read - I'm sure Wall-Mart could help with a slightly scary magazine too. I would rough the magazine up like you have already read (or looked at the pictures) a million times. Just think - save everything and you have a fun Halloween costume!

Remember the presentation is all about the details!

I may have found my saving grace. They ask that you complete a Jury Questionaire. I noted that I hung a jury once in an armed murder trial, and that I have family and friends in law enforcement, as well as being a witness in a criminal trial. I know that scares the hell out of lawyers.

I did read that "No beach attire or shorts are permitted." Since I wear a swimsuit to the beach, I guess that leaves the door very open for interpretation of what I can wear. For the record, I wear sandals year round, even to work, so they better not call me out on that crap.

"If the glove don't fit, you must acquit." I'm still lauging. Maybe the book I bring should be O.J.'s book, I didn't do it, but if I did, here is how I would have done it. Either that or the National Enquirer.

Around here if you have a pulse, your in.

I used to dread it like the plague until a trial lawyer asked me, that if I was on trial would I want only the deadbeats to be on my jury.

Made me rethink my position and I went willingly and actually ended up enjoying the process.

I may have found my saving grace. They ask that you complete a Jury Questionaire. I noted that I hung a jury once in an armed murder trial, and that I have family and friends in law enforcement, as well as being a witness in a criminal trial. I know that scares the hell out of lawyers.

I did read that "No beach attire or shorts are permitted." Since I wear a swimsuit to the beach, I guess that leaves the door very open for interpretation of what I can wear. For the record, I wear sandals year round, even to work, so they better not call me out on that crap.

"If the glove don't fit, you must acquit." I'm still lauging. Maybe the book I bring should be O.J.'s book, I didn't do it, but if I did, here is how I would have done it. Either that or the National Enquirer.

That's perfect! The National Enquirer! There was a guy next to me that was reading a Nascar magazine. Maybe bring one of each? :roll:

They most likely won't mention the flips. Like I said a good number of people were extremely dressed down. I was the odd one out since I was dressed well enough to go have a formal dinner. :roll: I wish I would have worn my flips - I live in them year round too, I look fairly akward in heels even though I'm a shrimp.

Just a thought, since Freedom of Speech is not confined to verbal speech but is understood to protect any act of seeking, receiving and imparting information or ideas, regardless of the medium used, if my clothing, has a political statement on it, and let's say the Judge declares it beach attire, couldn't I claim that my right to Freedom of Speech was being censored by the Court? Why is the gov't dictating what clothing I wear?

I must be a hopeless citizen. ;-) Everytime I get chosen, I go downtown and hope to be picked. I think to myself that I am a stay at home person and have the time to devote to a trial, while most of the folks I am sitting with have left their jobs or other responsibilities to sit and wait for three to four hours to be told they are not needed. One time we waited for three hours and then about 20 of us were sent clear across town to sit and then be told we were not needed there either.

I must be a hopeless citizen. ;-) Everytime I get chosen, I go downtown and hope to be picked. I think to myself that I am a stay at home person and have the time to devote to a trial, while most of the folks I am sitting with have left their jobs or other responsibilities to sit and wait for three to four hours to be told they are not needed. One time we waited for three hours and then about 20 of us were sent clear across town to sit and then be told we were not needed there either.

...I just want to be used.

...I just want to be used.

Oh my. I think that might have been TMI.

Not that my mind is in the gutter or anything.

I used to be able to casually mention to the defense attorney that the D.A. is my cousin, but she went back to private practice. There are handy tips out there for those who

Sure, you have a civil duty to serve in the esteemed court in judgment of your peer. But, really, who wants to do that? Probably someone who?s never had to do it before.

If you?ve received that dreaded piece of mail demanding hours of your life and you?re desperate to get out of it, then read on. I?m going to assume that you?ve already attempted to get out of jury duty by means of mail and have failed; you will have to present your last ditch effort within the confines of the court. Now, being a nice person, I?m going to offer you a valuable, Arthurian-esque, warning:

?Whilst it be fairly simple to ditch ye civil duty, thou mustn?t possess the backbone of a jellyfish, for only those brazen enough to appear retarded in public shall succeed in gaining freedom.?

In other words, you must be willing to embarrass yourself?without appearing embarrassed?or else you will be forced to serve in silent torture. If you are not capable of this?well ?sorry, you?re screwed.

Okay, step one: start small and work your way up to more severe actions. Remember, only as your time frame to escape closes should you begin to act like a desperate, rabid animal.

1.Pretend to be completely skittish?terrified even?of the court, the judge, the officers and bailiff. Squirm uncomfortably in your seat, sort of like you have bad cramps or gas. Look around constantly with a nervous ?I?m gonna barf? look on your face, cringe whenever the bailiff moves, and wince a little when the judge talks. After a little while, you will inevitably be asked why you are acting in such a manner. Take advantage of this by quaking under the judges direct attention, talking like a terrified public speaker, and say something to the effect of: ?Your honor, the courts and cops make me real nervous. I always get terrified like I might go to jail [gag a little after this word]. Where?s the nearest bathroom, I think I?m gonna blow!? I guarantee you will be personally escorted out of the building.

2.When the judge questions you, say something like ?Oh no, your honor, I really do want to serve. See, I?ve always had a tendency towards reading peoples mind, and I always dreamed of using it for good. Now I get the chance to send this guilty person to jail!?

3. Wear a t-shirt that says ?It costs a lot to house prisoners. Capital punishment for all!!?

4.Write a highly opinionated, articulate, confidant, and frank letter stating the reasons why you feel the entire justice system as a whole is a load of crap and that you could never find someone guilty under such a faulty system.

5.Cross your arms, squint your eyes, and say ?my grandpa was a cop. I know all about YOU attorneys.?

6..Whip out a notebook, take furious notes as soon as you enter the room, ask the attorneys and judge annoying questions, and express a great desire to be on the jury. Tell them that you are a writer, and that you will be the next Grisham. Then ask the judge if you can quote him/her in your book.

7.Scratch your head furiously, like an insane maniac, groan and pull at your hair. Then raise your hand, say you think you have lice, and ask if the bailiff can check your head for bugs.

8.Ask a fellow potential juror if they wish to get out of duty. If they do, set up a scene where you pretend to be ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/friends who can?t stand each other. Start yelling and arguing about something from your ?past?. You may be forcefully removed, but you will be removed nonetheless.

9.Pretend to have a sinus infection. Constantly blow your nose, and just when you can?t get more irritating, ?run? out of tissue and simply resort to sucking the snot up your nose. Your fellow jurors will likely kick you out.

10.If all else fails and you?re really desperate, run to the nearest Army recruiter and enlist.

I hope you have found this list useful. All of these tactics will likely get you out of jury duty. Just remember: you must know no shame. Nothing is beneath you.

Not even soiling yourself.

LEGITIMATE ways are available, too. They will often ask if you are self-employed and if jury duty will cause undue hardship for you. They will also sometimes ask if you have a strong opinion about a specific issue. Develop a strong opinion about everything, just in case...

NoHall, we can count on you!!!!!