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Experienced parents....

Ocean Lover avatar
bean
2,632 views
...I value your opinions. I'm not sure what I should do. Sam's (8th grader)grades are not what they should be. She's not a straight A student but has always had a 3.5 or better. One of her weaknesses is organization. She also has the type of personality that is happy go lucky, I don't have a care in the world. This can be a good thing but I feel she need to take things more seriously. The teachers have a new system this year where her grades are sent electronically to my email on Fridays. Some teachers use this but not all. Every time I've seen something with a big fat 0 on it and it freaks me out and I ask her about it and she says- Oh, it's in my locker. I show her the report from my email, explain how much a 0 brings her grade down and then she promises to turn it in. Last week I got one with a 0 for a project that was worth several points. She told me she turned it in. I emailed her teacher and he said he's never seen it and he asked me if this was a normal problem of Sam's-not turning work in on time. He said he was worried about her.

I feel like such a nag. When I get the reports each week I'm always saying something and it's not that positive. The only A I've seen is in orchestra. I know she can do better. She is not spending long on homework at all. She always says she gets it done at school. 2 of her team teachers are available after school to help anyone that needs it. She never stays. If I didn't get these reports, I'm afraid what her report card might have looked like. (report cards come next week)

There's been a big change in her social life since school started. First, boyfriend being the biggest. They go to football games and occasional parties together, hang out on the weekends in the neighborhood, and talk on the phone a couple of nights a week. Most of her friends ( bf too thank god) are on the other team so she's not liking school as much as last year. Last year she LOVED it. She has a myspace where she talks to her friends too. She hasn't even been in an activity this fall. I feel worried because she's cheering for basketball and that's going to start up soon. Last year she was dancing 3 nights a week and keeping up on grades. This fall she's done nothing! Maybe she does better being busy. Do I "ground" if she brings home a "c"? If not ground...what priviledges do I take away and for how long? Will she be resentful? I haven't really needed to do this before b/c she's such a good kid. No backtalk, sweet, compliant..really not sure how I can help her while maintaing a close relationship. Which btw, she keeps me informed about everything including bf details. I'm trying hard to keep the lines of communication open b/c she's a lot like me and could shut down at any time. ( very much an introvert)

I do want to be the parent here not a best friend.

Sorry, this was looooong.:biggrin:

What would you do? Feel free to express your feelings. I'll pick through and use what's best for us!

PM me if you want!



Edited

Replies

66
peapod1980 avatar
percy
#27
That seems so harsh..she's not failing I don't even have a grade card yet..sooo, how long do you take away these items?

ITA regarding the work ethic...Sam is actually doing volunteer work this Saturday at church helping single parents. She could do more tho.
I'm not sure how long they're taking the things away, I can only assume it's for a very specific amount of time; I don't think an indefinite "grounding" is ever very effective, it loses its meaning. My friend was pretty aggravated by the fact that her competent son was simply not turning in work, that's a pretty blatant offense. She looked at it in terms of doing careless or below-par work is one thing, but not even bothering to turn it in is a whole different ballgame and warranted a severe penalty.
Camp Creek Kid avatar
Christini Zambini
#28
I've just seen this thread. I would consider having your daughter tested for learning disabilities. My brother was diagnosed with dislexia and mild ADD at age 27 while in graduate school. He had always scored extremely well on achievement tests, but his grades didn't reflect his high test scores (C's and B's). He did manage to do a little better in college. Everyone thought that he was just a lazy student. So we come to find out that he really was doing the best he could--he actually did an amazing job considering that he had dislexia.

Disorganization (or is it unorganization) is a major characteristic of a person who has ADD. It is REALLY hard to focus on one thing for a period of time and a person with ADD is easily distracted (phones, computer, etc.).

Once my brother found out about his learning disabilities, he was able to learn techniques to help him overcome them. He had just started a graduate program that seemed impossible. He was near failing a few courses and now he is near the top of his class.

Other than that, I think you've gotten a lot of good advice from SoWallers with teenagers. Mine kids aren't there yet, but our eldest is about to turn 12!
SoWal Insider
#29
I've just seen this thread. I would consider having your daughter tested for learning disabilities. My brother was diagnosed with dislexia and mild ADD at age 27 while in graduate school. He had always scored extremely well on achievement tests, but his grades didn't reflect his high test scores (C's and B's). He did manage to do a little better in college. Everyone thought that he was just a lazy student. So we come to find out that he really was doing the best he could--he actually did an amazing job considering that he had dislexia.

Disorganization (or is it unorganization) is a major characteristic of a person who has ADD. It is REALLY hard to focus on one thing for a period of time and a person with ADD is easily distracted (phones, computer, etc.).

Once my brother found out about his learning disabilities, he was able to learn techniques to help him overcome them. He had just started a graduate program that seemed impossible. He was near failing a few courses and now he is near the top of his class.

Other than that, I think you've gotten a lot of good advice from SoWallers with teenagers. Mine kids aren't there yet, but our eldest is about to turn 12!
I'm glad you mentioned this. I did have my son tested when he was about 12. It turned out that he was, as I expected, lazy. But it is still a good idea to check into. Better to leave no stones unturned.
Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#30
I've just seen this thread. I would consider having your daughter tested for learning disabilities. My brother was diagnosed with dislexia and mild ADD at age 27 while in graduate school. He had always scored extremely well on achievement tests, but his grades didn't reflect his high test scores (C's and B's). He did manage to do a little better in college. Everyone thought that he was just a lazy student. So we come to find out that he really was doing the best he could--he actually did an amazing job considering that he had dislexia.

Disorganization (or is it unorganization) is a major characteristic of a person who has ADD. It is REALLY hard to focus on one thing for a period of time and a person with ADD is easily distracted (phones, computer, etc.).

Once my brother found out about his learning disabilities, he was able to learn techniques to help him overcome them. He had just started a graduate program that seemed impossible. He was near failing a few courses and now he is near the top of his class.

Other than that, I think you've gotten a lot of good advice from SoWallers with teenagers. Mine kids aren't there yet, but our eldest is about to turn 12!

Thank you CCK, but I have no reason at all to believe that Samantha could have a LD. She was reading at age 4, very top of the class for her first few years of schooling. She's leveled off since but has never had a problem focusing before. I honestly think it's part middle-school-itis and part laziness.

I do appreciate all comments and advice and different views. If it's not helping me it could be helping someone else.
picky
#31
I honestly think it's part middle-school-itis and part laziness.

OL, it's also hormones, growing up, discovering boys, and a whole host of other external things. The list goes on and on! Sam's at a very heady age and what you're going through with her is very natural. Her life is changing minute by minute so it's hardly surprising that she is not paying attention to her school work to the same degree as she did last year. It's a rare child who is her age and disciplined and focused. Keep on top of it (as you already are) but please don't go beserk over it! You'll turn your hair gray before its time if you do.
SoWal Insider
#32
OL, it's also hormones, growing up, discovering boys, and a whole host of other external things. The list goes on and on! Sam's at a very heady age and what you're going through with her is very natural. Her life is changing minute by minute so it's hardly surprising that she is not paying attention to her school work to the same degree as she did last year. It's a rare child who is her age and disciplined and focused. Keep on top of it (as you already are) but please don't go beserk over it! You'll turn your hair gray before its time if you do.
OL, good advice here as well. I realize after re-reading my post, I was reacting to my son's habits & my own frustration, not Sam. Continue to stay on top of this and administer a reasonable consequence. Just keep a level head but don't let this get out of control.
Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#33
OL, it's also hormones, growing up, discovering boys, and a whole host of other external things. The list goes on and on! Sam's at a very heady age and what you're going through with her is very natural. Her life is changing minute by minute so it's hardly surprising that she is not paying attention to her school work to the same degree as she did last year. It's a rare child who is her age and disciplined and focused. Keep on top of it (as you already are) but please don't go beserk over it! You'll turn your hair gray before its time if you do.
Voice of an experienced mother of a daughter .... thanks Mermy.
Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#34
OL, good advice here as well. I realize after re-reading my post, I was reacting to my son's habits & my own frustration, not Sam. Continue to stay on top of this and administer a reasonable consequence. Just keep a level head but don't let this get out of control.


I plan too. :)

Sam and I had a talk last night. I think she's the type that is better to be busy than have extra time on her hands. It helps her manage her time better. She said Mr. Clark's projects were overwhelming her and stressing her out. I told her I never saw any evidence of stress at home! I think she was waiting until the last minute to complete a project and another one was assigned in the mean time and she was still working on getting the first one done or started! We told her she needs to start them right away and not procrastinate.
As of right now, she is not allowed on the computer during the week and no phone after 8:30 p.m. If the report card comes home with a C then ipod, phone, and weekend social life will be gone until grades improve.

SoWal Insider
#35
I plan too. :)

Sam and I had a talk last night. I think she's the type that is better to be busy than have extra time on her hands. It helps her manage her time better. She said Mr. Clark's projects were overwhelming her and stressing her out. I told her I never saw any evidence of stress at home! I think she was waiting until the last minute to complete a project and another one was assigned in the mean time and she was still working on getting the first one done or started! We told her she needs to start them right away and not procrastinate.
As of right now, she is not allowed on the computer during the week and no phone after 8:30 p.m. If the report card comes home with a C then ipod, phone, and weekend social life will be gone until grades improve.
Sounds like a good plan plus you've talked to her last night so there's no surprises. (Your post sounds just like Collin. :roll:)
KISH7374 avatar
Beach Fanatic
#36
And now the male view. After having to put 1 girl and 3 boys through Catholic High School one of the things I learned it that at that certain age social things for them are more important then anything else. You have to stress that priorities have to be set and the child/student must follow these priorities. As a parent you have to do whatever it takes to make sure that school comes first. If you have to take away certain things then you must follow through with this and not just threaten them with this. It is a very tough thing as a parent to do but in the long run it is worth it. It is also very important that both parents are on the same page so the kids can't play good parent bad parent. This just makes it worse for you. Once the guidelines are set you just have to follow through.
NoHall avatar
hmmmm......can't remember
#37
We've worked on this organization thing since 4th grade. :shock: I can't make her be organized!!! It's so frustrating. Dylan is the exact opposite...maybe even a little OCD.:blink: I just have a feeling her mind is not at all on schoolwork.:roll:

Oh, yes you can (within parameters.) I've noticed since my return to school that I have a couple of OCD professors who are good at enforcing organization. The clear folder idea below is a grayt one.

Sounds like you have a good line of communication between you and good consequences regarding grades and grounding. Time management is something she's going to have to learn between now and college, anyway...

I've been working on the same organizational issues with my new middle schooler...I purchased one of those heavy duty clear 2 pocket folders. I labeled one pocket "Bring Home" and the other side "Turn In." At school, she files all items to be brought home in the "Bring Home" side. All completed homework, notes, etc. goes in the Turn In pocket at the end of homework time. That way, she always knows where the homework is.
My daughter is not to get into the carpool to come home from school until the "Turn In" folder is empty. It's easy to check since it is clear. It seemed to help her to have it all in one place instead of the 7 separate notebooks for each class. She still has days where she has to return to a class and turn something in, but at least it gets there.
This was a grayt idea!

I would consider having your daughter tested for learning disabilities. My brother was diagnosed with dislexia and mild ADD at age 27 while in graduate school. He had always scored extremely well on achievement tests, but his grades didn't reflect his high test scores (C's and B's). He did manage to do a little better in college. Everyone thought that he was just a lazy student. So we come to find out that he really was doing the best he could--he actually did an amazing job considering that he had dislexia.

Disorganization is a major characteristic of a person who has ADD. It is REALLY hard to focus on one thing for a period of time and a person with ADD is easily distracted (phones, computer, etc.).

Once my brother found out about his learning disabilities, he was able to learn techniques to help him overcome them. He had just started a graduate program that seemed impossible. He was near failing a few courses and now he is near the top of his class.

I had this same thought. My 10-year-old niece was just put on a very low dose of medicine for ADD. She's really, really smart, but can't remember to turn anything in.

But it's not always ADD. My brother and I are both narcoleptic, and some of the symptoms are identical. (The disorders are not all that dissimilar.) Automatic behavior is one of them--the keys end up in the fridge, and the ice cream is in the closet. It looks a lot like absent-mindedness. Before I was diagnosed, I had to start imposing some strict rules on myself--the keys always go in one place, I check everything in the car before I get out to make sure I didn't leave anything, etc. I was diagnosed my senior year in college. My grades had plunged to a 2.2 average, but I made As and a couple of Bs my senior year.

Narcolepsy usually starts showing up around middle school. (My brother says that although my niece shows classic symptoms, they can't really test her until she's a little older.) Other symptoms: excessive daytime sleepiness (falling asleep/zoning out in class,) insomnia (believe it or not,) hypnogogic hallucinations (see Skunky's post on "Ghosts and UFOs" thread) and nightmares, sleep paralysis.

Edited

Bob avatar
SoWal Insider
#38
I had to read this a few times but it's sinking in. I was going to cut the computer all together during the week but this makes sense. The project that she said she turned in is a "no show". I asked her teacher about it today so I will have to take some action on this today.
Put the hammer of love down, and she will eventually return it. Letting her IM allows her to sit down and do her work, and stay in touch with her world too. She'll get it. Go nuclear on the lying, because that may be what some of her friends do to manipulate authority at home. Let her have her freedom when she's hitting the numbers at school, and monitor her heavily at home, and with all her teachers.
Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#39
Okay, tomorrow is the end of the grading period. One of her teachers sends me the grades today. In her language arts class ( which she claims is one of her favorite subjects) she has a 77.8 At the top of the email he said: Tomorrow is your last chance to turn in any late work or come in early 8am tomorrow and work on it. ( Tomorrow is a late start day) There was an opportunity for extra credit that she didn't do and 2 assignments not turned in. I asked Sam what she thought she wanted to do since if she gets a C on her report card she loses stuff plus social life. She was like.....oh, okay....well I guess I'll go in at 9. :yikes::banging:I said really!!!!! She said...oh it won't take me that long at all. I said, no you're going in at 8!:whack: Grrr. ..saying this to myself...then why didn't you do it in the first place and why do you think extra credit is an option at this point!!!!!! I have a feeling she's going to have really feel the hurt before it sinks in.
SoWal Insider
#40
Okay, tomorrow is the end of the grading period. One of her teachers sends me the grades today. In her language arts class ( which she claims is one of her favorite subjects) she has a 77.8 At the top of the email he said: Tomorrow is your last chance to turn in any late work or come in early 8am tomorrow and work on it. ( Tomorrow is a late start day) There was an opportunity for extra credit that she didn't do and 2 assignments not turned in. I asked Sam what she thought she wanted to do since if she gets a C on her report card she loses stuff plus social life. She was like.....oh, okay....well I guess I'll go in at 9. :yikes::banging:I said really!!!!! She said...oh it won't take me that long at all. I said, no you're going in at 8!:whack: Grrr. ..saying this to myself...then why didn't you do it in the first place and why do you think extra credit is an option at this point!!!!!! I have a feeling she's going to have really feel the hurt before it sinks in.
Our 2 MUST be related!
Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#41
Our 2 MUST be related!

:wave: I just really have to do this...:roll::roll::roll::roll::roll::roll:.
SHELLY avatar
SoWal Insider
#42
She's testing you to see how hard you are going to push back and how fast you will crumble (and taking mental notes along the way of what works and what doesn't). She knows you feel guilty about dishing out punishment and will play you like a violin.

Maybe she needs to stop the "extra curricular activities" till she learns to 'get organized' with her primary school work. When she's got that down pat, then she can start adding other activities one at a time.

Stand your ground NOW! Be consistent and swift with your punishment and praise. It will be a heck of a lot easier dealing with this situation when she is in 8th grade than when she is in high school.

How many times did we "hate" our parents for disciplining us? Back in the olden days, they didn't feel the obligation to give us the "whys and wherefores" of being sent to our rooms (which, compared to the kids' rooms today, was like the Gulag). But sometime down the road, we all had that "aha" moment...which made us love them even more.

Fight back against your feelings of guilt--good parenting won't give you "instant gratification" if you are doing your job right.

It's a tough job, she's lucky to have a mom like you who cares...best of luck.

.
Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#43
She's testing you to see how hard you are going to push back and how fast you will crumble (and taking mental notes along the way of what works and what doesn't). She knows you feel guilty about dishing out punishment and will play you like a violin.

Maybe she needs to stop the "extra curricular activities" till she learns to 'get organized' with her primary school work. When she's got that down pat, then she can start adding other activities one at a time.

Stand your ground NOW! Be consistent and swift with your punishment and praise. It will be a heck of a lot easier dealing with this situation when she is in 8th grade than when she is in high school.

How many times did we "hate" our parents for disciplining us? Back in the olden days, they didn't feel the obligation to give us the "whys and wherefores" of being sent to our rooms (which, compared to the kids' rooms today, was like the Gulag). But sometime down the road, we all had that "aha" moment...which made us love them even more.

Fight back against your feelings of guilt--good parenting won't give you "instant gratification" if you are doing your job right.

It's a tough job, she's lucky to have a mom like you who cares...best of luck.

.

:shock:Shell, I think you're too smart for your own good. ;-)I'm feelin' the first paragraph.

The thing with the extra curricular activites is it hasn't started yet. Cheerleading starts Monday and that will not be something I will not take away. She has signed a contract, committing to practices and games. I actually think being busy will help her manage her time better. At least I'm hoping. It worked well last year.

I think I have been more wishy washy than I wanted to be b/c I don't have the official report card yet. I really didn't expect to see zero's for non work in these emails so I didn't lay out my expectations for that ahead of time..kwim?
SHELLY avatar
SoWal Insider
#44
The thing with the extra curricular activites is it hasn't started yet. Cheerleading starts Monday and that will not be something I will not take away. She has signed a contract, committing to practices and games. I actually think being busy will help her manage her time better. At least I'm hoping. It worked well last year.

I think I have been more wishy washy than I wanted to be b/c I don't have the official report card yet. I really didn't expect to see zero's for non work in these emails so I didn't lay out my expectations for that ahead of time..kwim?

When you do determine what your expectations are--and the consequences for failing to meet those expectations--put them into a MOM'S & DAUGHTER'S CONTRACT and both of you sign it too.

In this day and age, I believe it is more important for parents to put their foot down and set hard and fast rules and boundries for their children.

There is so much more danger out there than when we were teens and much more peer pressure. Having 'strict' parents gives the kid who doesn't want to do something a chance to save face with his peers. Instead of saying "I don't want to do that," they have the added opportunity to say, "My Mom/Dad would ground me for life!" (or something like that). If your child's friends know that "Mom or Dad" has a reputation as an active, informed and involved parent, they may be more apt to just drop the pressure on their friend (and probably secretly wish their own parents were as involved in their well-being).

.

Edited

CPort avatar
Beach Fanatic
#45
When you do determine what your expectations are--and the consequences for failing to meet those expectations--put them into a MOM'S & DAUGHTER'S CONTRACT and both of you sign it too.

In this day and age, I believe it is more important for parents to put their foot down and set hard and fast rules and boundries for their children.

There is so much more danger out there than when we were teens and much more peer pressure. Having 'strict' parents gives the kid who doesn't want to do something a chance to save face with his peers. Instead of saying "I don't want to do that," they have the added opportunity to say, "My Mom/Dad would ground me for life!" (or something like that). If your child's friends know that "Mom or Dad" has a reputation as an active, informed and involved parent, they may be more apt to just drop the pressure on their friend (and probably secretly wish their own parents were as involved in their well-being).

.
This is all so true!
ShallowsNole avatar
Beach Fanatic
#46
I just stumbled upon this thread, and hope that Sam will improve (with a big hug to OL :wave:). My stomach is in knots, as we are anxiously awaiting reports cards for the first nine weeks down here.

Fuzz e-mailed all of Squirt's teachers a couple of weeks ago, asked how he was doing, etc. They all e-mailed back with "he is doing fine" but were not any more specific. I am not certain that their definition of "fine" agrees with ours. Squirt has also confided in me that he bombed a couple of tests, but evidently not in the same subject, and for some reason, he was having to take a test after school last week. Basketball has started now, and that in itself gives him motivation to keep his grades up. For now, anyway.

But, more relevant...I have a nephew who declared in his senior year of high school that he did not have to do homework. (He can pass anything without even opening the book. Infuriating.) His theory was that if he aced all of his exams and was able to answer correctly every time he was called on, which he did, there was no way that they could justify failing him. After all, the point of going to school is to prove you are proficient; only learn those things you haven't mastered yet. Plus, I'm leaving for basic training in September, they wouldn't dare fail me. Right? Wrong. They did let him walk through graduation, but no diploma. No USAF (actually, that was a medical issue.)

Fast-forward 16 years...he did get his diploma after summer school, eventually graduated from FSU with honors (paid his own way, just finished paying student loans) and makes more than Fuzz & I put together. He also has a lovely wife and two beautiful toddler girls. And - last but not least - he is watching his "little" cousin, who adores him, like a hawk, lest he get any notions...;-)
Beach Runner avatar
beats on hood
#47
I've just seen this thread. I would consider having your daughter tested for learning disabilities. My brother was diagnosed with dislexia and mild ADD at age 27 while in graduate school. He had always scored extremely well on achievement tests, but his grades didn't reflect his high test scores (C's and B's). He did manage to do a little better in college. Everyone thought that he was just a lazy student. So we come to find out that he really was doing the best he could--he actually did an amazing job considering that he had dislexia.

Disorganization (or is it unorganization) is a major characteristic of a person who has ADD. It is REALLY hard to focus on one thing for a period of time and a person with ADD is easily distracted (phones, computer, etc.).

Once my brother found out about his learning disabilities, he was able to learn techniques to help him overcome them. He had just started a graduate program that seemed impossible. He was near failing a few courses and now he is near the top of his class.

Other than that, I think you've gotten a lot of good advice from SoWallers with teenagers. Mine kids aren't there yet, but our eldest is about to turn 12!
I concur. OL, you need to rule out ADD or ADHD. It could save your child's future if she has such a disorder and gets put on meds before she has to ramp it up in college and is undiagnosed while not being under your protective wing.

Edited

Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#48
:wave:SN, actually a good story/lesson for lil cuz to know.

I concur. OL, you need to rule out ADD or ADHD. It could save your child's future if she has such a disorder and gets put on meds before she has to ramp it up in college and is undiagnosed while not being under your protective wing.



BR, did you happen to read my response to CCK by any chance?

Edited

Beach Runner avatar
beats on hood
#49
:wave:SN, actually a good story/lesson for lil cuz to know.





BR, did you happen to read my response to CCK by any chance?
I will pm you.
Ocean Lover avatar
beanAuthor
#50
UPDATE:

Sam is doing so much better. I think she is the type of kid that needs to stay busy. Cheerleading started, she's stays after with her Algebra teacher once a week, and she's starting to understand that we mean business. Today, which happens to be her 14th birthday, she got back her ipod and her phone after losing it for 2 weeks and then another 2 weeks for lying to me about turning in homework. A whole month without her 2 prized possesions! I really think she's learned that we won't put up with lying or carelessness. I told her if she brought her grades up she could use the computer during the week after all homework is done. We got her interim reports back and they were all A's except a B- in Algebra. We will of course keep an eye on her but I'm proud that she's getting back on track.

She also broke up with her boyfriend this week after 3 1/2 months. She said she just wanted to be friends and not tied down...ohthe life of a young teen. I was actually kind of sad. He's a really nice boy, they didn't see each other all that much and it was pretty low key. Hopefully it'll be a while before anyone else comes along.

Happy Birthday Baby! BTW, this pic made a really good elf yourself pic...the goofier the pic the funnier the dance.

Edited

Sheila avatar
SoWal Insider
#51
UPDATE:

Sam is doing so much better. I think she is the type of kid that needs to stay busy. Cheerleading started, she's stays after with her Algebra teacher once a week, and she's starting to understand that we mean business. Today, which happens to be her 14th birthday, she got back her ipod and her phone after losing it for 2 weeks and then another 2 weeks for lying to me about turning in homework. A whole month without her 2 prized possesions! I really think she's learned that we won't put up with lying or carelessness. I told her if she brought her grades up she could use the computer during the week after all homework is done. We got her interim reports back and they were all A's except a B- in Algebra. We will of course keep an eye on her but I'm proud that she's getting back on track.

She also broke up with her boyfriend this week after 3 1/2 months. She said she just wanted to be friends and not tied down...ohthe life of a young teen. I was actually kind of sad. He's a really nice boy, they didn't see each other all that much and it was pretty low key. Hopefully it'll be a while before anyone else comes along.

Happy Birthday Baby! BTW, this pic made a really good elf yourself pic...the goofier the pic the funnier the dance.



Good job OL! :clap: I always have the upmost respect for parents that care enough to lay down the law and stick to their guns. This is the age that they are really testing the waters and need boundaries that are clear cut and well defined. Sam is a beautiful young lady and is very lucky that she has such grayt parents.

Happy Birthday SAM!

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