Dating

Tue story:

Worked in the engineering department of a paper mill one summer while I was in college. Got assigned to go out with a civil engineer one day to shoot some grades for a new something or other. Really hot, sweaty LA day. The CE was the original REDNECK, and smoked cigars. He smoked one about halfway down chewing on it constantly, stopped and looked at me, took it out ofhis mouth, broke it in half and said,

"You want the wet end or the dry?"



Like to have lost my cookies right then and there.

Anyway, I got this daughter that I would like to get married off before I die. The poor guy has got to have tons of $ to support her in the manner to which her mother has grown her accustomed.

Any takers?

Tue story:

Worked in the engineering department of a paper mill one summer while I was in college. Got assigned to go out with a civil engineer one day to shoot some grades for a new something or other. Really hot, sweaty LA day. The CE was the original REDNECK, and smoked cigars. He smoked one about halfway down chewing on it constantly, stopped and looked at me, took it out ofhis mouth, broke it in half and said,

"You want the wet end or the dry?"



Like to have lost my cookies right then and there.

Anyway, I got this daughter that I would like to get married off before I die. The poor guy has got to have tons of $ to support her in the manner to which her mother has grown her accustomed.

Any takers?

Convert my folding money to pennies and I have maybe a coupla tons. Need me to sweeten it more?

Convert my folding money to pennies and I have maybe a coupla tons. Need me to sweeten it more?

SOLD!!!

Pick up or delivery?

SOLD!!!

Pick up or delivery?

that was quick..

Now here's an interesting concept. I can just see it! Beach Wo-man and Surfer Boy meet on SoWal...attend all the soirees and frequent all the hot spots...hit the skids...and the rest of us proceed to pick sides and post threads to follow the drama. Spare me. One of the great joys of SoWal Board is that none of us are dating one another (well, as far as I know).

No on SoWal, puh-lease!!!!!!

Now here's an interesting concept. I can just see it! Beach Wo-man and Surfer Boy meet on SoWal...attend all the soirees and frequent all the hot spots...hit the skids...and the rest of us proceed to pick sides and post threads to follow the drama. Spare me. One of the great joys of SoWal Board is that none of us are dating one another (well, as far as I know).

No on SoWal, puh-lease!!!!!!

Good one, but the concept is already in the works. ;-)

I don't think Sowal dating would be a bad idea because of him vs. her feuds (how childish), more for the "this is why pandas don't mate in captivity" and "your private life not being private" reasons.

Just a reminder as to how this thread started.....

Hey Kurt, how about a dating area for the website. I've noticed there seem to be a lot of singles on here, mainly wanting to date doctors and art collectors. At any rate how about a place for them to meet?

Would that need to be a gay brother?

No. As long as there is alcohol, there is hope.

Just kidding. But there is a way...want the scoop?:funn:

Cirque de scooterbug. :funn:

:funn:

If my wedding pans out, I'm holding SoWal responsible...

Do we have someone to perform your wedding yet? I can easily be talked into doing this one! Been awhile since I've done a wedding.

Do we have someone to perform your wedding yet? I can easily be talked into doing this one! Been awhile since I've done a wedding.

You'll have to talk to my wedding planner/matchmaker/guardian angel in a pink tiara...I'm only along for the marriage part of it! (I am marrying someone of the opposite sex, you know--hope you're not against straight marriage...)

You'll have to talk to my wedding planner/matchmaker/guardian angel in a pink tiara...I'm only along for the marriage part of it! (I am marrying someone of the opposite sex, you know--hope you're not against straight marriage...)

Ewww, a man and a WOMAN

Okay, got that out of my system. I know about a dozen notaries. I know some priests too, they could marry you and be DKA's date.

Ewww, a man and a WOMAN

Okay, got that out of my system. I know about a dozen notaries. I know some priests too, they could marry you and be DKA's date.

I always thought elopement sounded like funn...

I always thought elopement sounded like funn...

I'm sure BB will start planning that too. Pink limo to a pink chartered jet, to Vegas for a pink wedding!

wOw....

talk about a thread in the wild.......

Ahemmmm.... I do have my ordainment lic....... ; ) we will need a maid of honor....Oh hail...theres PLENTY fir the taking round har nawdays

wOw....

talk about a thread in the wild.......

Ahemmmm.... I do have my ordainment lic....... ; ) we will need a maid of honor....Oh hail...theres PLENTY fir the taking round har nawdays

Well me and DKA are out. :funn:

Send out the search party!

Well me and DKA are out. :funn:

Send out the search party!

Not so fast prissy. I'll have you know that I have been in a number of weddings.

I was a ringbearer at my brother's wedding when I was 4 years old. I threw a tantrum when I found out it was a plastic ring sewn to the pillow and had to get dressed up for nothing!

I was a groom in a pretend wedding in homo-economics class in highschool.

I got married to a woman May 7, 1986. Divorced Halloween 1986.

Twice I have given away brides, then stepped up to be their Maid of Honor.

I've been a groomsman twice. (same brother's wedding 30 years later) and my sister-in laws wedding.

I was the ringbearer AND flowergirl just a few years ago at Gabe's beach wedding in Seagrove. Ask BobbyJ, he was there.

I was a wedding director for BobbyJ's baby sisters wedding.

Have planned many weddings before and since.

I also perform weddings- I'm a card carrying member of the Church of Spiritual Humanism! ($14.95 on line!-legal in Floriduh)

So I've done everything but Best Man and Bride. I don't ever plan on being a BRIDE, but if I ever get to be a Best Man, I think I can go in Guiness World book of records for having covered every possible position in a wedding.

Not so fast prissy. I'll have you know that I have been in a number of weddings.

I was a ringbearer at my brother's wedding when I was 4 years old. I threw a tantrum when I found out it was a plastic ring sewn to the pillow and had to get dressed up for nothing!

I was a groom in a pretend wedding in homo-economics class in highschool.

I got married to a woman May 7, 1986. Divorced Halloween 1986.

Twice I have given away brides, then stepped up to be their Maid of Honor.

I've been a groomsman twice. (same brother's wedding 30 years later) and my sister-in laws wedding.

I was the ringbearer AND flowergirl just a few years ago at Gabe's beach wedding in Seagrove. Ask BobbyJ, he was there.

I was a wedding director for BobbyJ's baby sisters wedding.

Have planned many weddings before and since.

I also perform weddings- I'm a card carrying member of the Church of Spiritual Humanism! ($14.95 on line!-legal in Floriduh)

So I've done everything but Best Man and Bride. I don't ever plan on being a BRIDE, but if I ever get to be a Best Man, I think I can go in Guiness World book of records for having covered every possible position in a wedding.

Wow...that's a pretty impressive resume. Would you like to go see "27 Dresses" with me next time I'm down there?

So I've done everything but Best Man and Bride. I don't ever plan on being a BRIDE, but if I ever get to be a Best Man, I think I can go in Guiness World book of records for having covered every possible position in a wedding.

You would make a lovely bride

Agreed Alli; SHE WOULD make a lovely Bride

well, sowal.com is already a meet & greet place. I wonder, is there a couple who met on sowal yet?

for you singles, it would be GREAT if you would give us date reports, like lindabobhat did once. and take pix too. heck, so many are into "reality shows" your date would probably not mind a dang bit.

If any of the dates go like this one....

In the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went out into the audience to
find the most embarrassing first date that a woman had ever had. The
winner described her worst date experience. There was absolutely no
question as to why her tale took the prize!
She said it was mid-winter....snowing and quite cold..and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was
a day trip (no overnight) They were strangers, after all, and truly had
never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed
home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain,
when she gradually began to realize that she should have not had that
extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the
middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested that she try to hold it,
which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of heavy snow and
slow going, there came a point where she told himthat he had better
stop and let her pee beside the road or it would be in the front seat
of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing,
so she let her butt restagainst the rear fender to steady herself. Her
companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think
about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of
thesituation.

Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As
she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued to the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to
pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her
flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand
new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a
reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
assistance!" He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with
her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst
out laughing. She too got the giggles and when they finally managed to
compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to
unzip is pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed with laughter, she took the Tonight Show
prize hands down....or perhaps it should be "pants down".
............And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment. "This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed
off".

Just spewed coffee all over my monitor

:funn::rofl:

Funny, TOO FUNNY

OMG! I wasn't sure if this was SoWal or a Penthouse Forum!

Hey Kurt, how about a dating area for the website. I've noticed there seem to be a lot of singles on here, mainly wanting to date doctors and art collectors. At any rate how about a place for them to meet?

We don't need no stinkin' website--we have BB. I'm finally going to meet my fiance this weekend. BB has the wedding planned, but the engagement party is still open. Do I have any bids?

We don't need no stinkin' website--we have BB. I'm finally going to meet my fiance this weekend. BB has the wedding planned, but the engagement party is still open. Do I have any bids?

Dragged this old thread up again huh? I think the engagement party is April 19th right?