Dating

It's about control as well as delusional psychosis. Most stalkers have personality disorders to start with and becoming overly possessive after a first date is a major red flag. Moving too fast is another and thats why my bells went off after reading NoHalls post.

Someone earlier said something about trusting your gut and I firmly believe in it. I also have a friend who imparted a little wisdom to me after he worked as an assistant District Attorney in New York and New Orleans. He said, "Be careful AL, anyone can pretend to be normal for six months, after that, you start seeing the real person."

Good Advice indeed!

I got lucky.......I knew my husband for 3 1/2 months when we got married. We've been married almost 2 years and I would marry him again in a minute!!! eHarmony......................it works.

It's about control as well as delusional psychosis. Most stalkers have personality disorders to start with and becoming overly possessive after a first date is a major red flag. Moving too fast is another and thats why my bells went off after reading NoHalls post.

Someone earlier said something about trusting your gut and I firmly believe in it. I also have a friend who imparted a little wisdom to me after he worked as an assistant District Attorney in New York and New Orleans. He said, "Be careful AL, anyone can pretend to be normal for six months, after that, you start seeing the real person."

Good words...

I got lucky.......I knew my husband for 3 1/2 months when we got married. We've been married almost 2 years and I would marry him again in a minute!!! eHarmony......................it works.

My parents were engaged in 9 weeks and married in 5 months. That was 42 years ago. As efficient as that sounds, they obviously had an exceptional situation. (And they met through a group of mutual friends!)

eHarmony works for some people. I had someone sign me up on Match.com, and it creeped me out, too. I think my network is better than either of theirs, anyway.

Some mega red flags from Saturday's nuclear disaster:

What would your response be if after a year, your boyfriend said "If you really loved me, you'd get my name tattooed on you." ? (Apparently my answer of "the suitcase is in the hall closet " was charming.)

What if your boyfriend wanted you to call every day at 5 p.m. and check in? Then referenced the movie Casino where DeNiro gives Sharon Stone a beeper she has to answer w/in 5 mins OR ELSE.

Then there was the charming anecdote about him putting beer in his non-drinking Baptist friend's coke just to be an arse.

Seriously, you can't make this sheet up!

P.S. That guy WAS from Eharmony (There's no way I would have gone out w/ a guy like that if I'd met him in person). Makes me severely question the Chemistry.com advertising campaign criticizing their high rate of rejection.

He said, "Be careful AL, anyone can pretend to be normal for six months, after that, you start seeing the real person."

I couldn't last 6 months.

Some mega red flags from Saturday's nuclear disaster:

What would your response be if after a year, your boyfriend said "If you really loved me, you'd get my name tattooed on you." ? (Apparently my answer of "the suitcase is in the hall closet " was charming.)

What if your boyfriend wanted you to call every day at 5 p.m. and check in? Then referenced the movie Casino where DeNiro gives Sharon Stone a beeper she has to answer w/in 5 mins OR ELSE.

Then there was the charming anecdote about him putting beer in his non-drinking Baptist friend's coke just to be an arse.

Seriously, you can't make this sheet up!

Scooterbug...we need to find you one of the nice, smart ones. Seriously...

I got lucky.......I knew my husband for 3 1/2 months when we got married. We've been married almost 2 years and I would marry him again in a minute!!! eHarmony......................it works.

Aww sweet story Seagrovegirl. I know eharmony has alot of success.

But let me share my funny story. I have a coworker that was filling out her eHarmony questionnaire. She said "I don't want anyone from Russia, they can be scary...hello...Hitler". :funn: When she was trying to determine which choice of religion best suited her she ruled out Protestant as she said " I believe in God I'm not protesting Him". I think she gave up and met someone in a bar.

I couldn't last 6 months.

Amen......Hon, I have problems assimilating into normal society for an hour. What you see is what you get with me.

I find that punching a man in the arm on a first date to be a good way to tell which way the wind blows.

If he whines........no second date.
If he hits you back and knocks you down, no second date.
If he files assault charges.....no second date
If he taps you back and grins.......good sign or if he rubs his arm and smiles like,"What a woman." second date material as well.

Amen......Hon, I have problems assimilating into normal society for an hour. What you see is what you get with me.

I find that punching a man in the arm on a first date to be a good way to tell which way the wind blows.

If he whines........no second date.
If he hits you back and knocks you down, no second date.
If he files assault charges.....no second date
If he taps you back and grins.......good sign or if he rubs his arm and smiles like,"What a woman." second date material as well.

We need more useful advice like this! Bravo!

Amen......Hon, I have problems assimilating into normal society for an hour. What you see is what you get with me.

I find that punching a man in the arm on a first date to be a good way to tell which way the wind blows.

If he whines........no second date.
If he hits you back and knocks you down, no second date.
If he files assault charges.....no second date
If he taps you back and grins.......good sign or if he rubs his arm and smiles like,"What a woman." second date material as well.

Good advice! Wonder what a gal could tell by punching him in the snoot?

Good advice! Wonder what a gal could tell by punching him in the snoot?

It would be according to where his snoot is located:shock:

It would be according to where his snoot is located:shock:

This, coming from a dog with a prominent one!?

This, coming from a dog with a prominent one!?

I had to say it

The eHarmony thing has advantages and I understand it is not for everyone. They match you based on criteria you post. You don't surf and pick. You communicate for as long as you want before you meet, if you want to meet. The man I married is a total opposite of the men "I thought I was attracted to."

I wasn't criticizing Eharmony, just wanted to clarify how I ended up on that date so people didn't think my judgment was so bad I was meeting a guy like that and then wanting to date him! Considering what still gets past their filters and the details of a local I know who was rejected, I can't imagine why Chemistry.com wants to appeal to their rejects!

It's quite a bit better than the other sites based on friends' feedback and one truly horrifying and short lived attempt at Yahoo personals. My responses to some of those were "you spelled nymphomaniac wrong" and "your kids are closer to my age than you are." :roll:

OMG....LOL. It's a scary world, whether online or in a bar.....church for that matter. That was the worst one ever!!!

OMG....LOL. It's a scary world, whether online or in a bar.....church for that matter. That was the worst one ever!!!

I agree. Speaking from experience, don't trust them just because you see them in church.

I'll see you there, but you won't see me. ;-)

That explains the rustling bushes.

Didn't mean to exclude you, just assumed you'd be "there".

I agree. Speaking from experience, don't trust them just because you see them in church.

Scrutinize more!

We can get together for coffee and exchange stalking tips. :funn: The first meeting of the SoWal Stalkers Coffee Clutch.

sweet baby Jesus...I missed this on the first go-round!

My boss is helping me with my anti-stalking operations. On Monday and Tuesday, I had a planning period that backed up to lunch, so I went off-campus to eat. Today I didn't have time, and had to go to the cafeteria. I was sitting apart from the cadets (and in my usual spot, actually) but managed to get behind a ficus tree.

My boss and his wife were with me on the other side of my table, and he knew that I was trying to eat as fast as I could and bug out of there. I couldn't help but laugh when he looked up and said, "Target acquired." (For you non-military folk, that means that crazy prince charming was in the building.) He ended up taking my tray for me and "covering" while I ran out the back door.

If it weren't so stressful, it would have been funny.

sweet baby Jesus...I missed this on the first go-round!

My boss is helping me with my anti-stalking operations. On Monday and Tuesday, I had a planning period that backed up to lunch, so I went off-campus to eat. Today I didn't have time, and had to go to the cafeteria. I was sitting apart from the cadets (and in my usual spot, actually) but managed to get behind a ficus tree.

My boss and his wife were with me on the other side of my table, and he knew that I was trying to eat as fast as I could and bug out of there. I couldn't help but laugh when he looked up and said, "Target acquired." (For you non-military folk, that means that crazy prince charming was in the building.) He ended up taking my tray for me and "covering" while I ran out the back door.

If it weren't so stressful, it would have been funny.

I do want to apologize as we are not trying to make light of your situation. Honestly you should join us, it might give you some counter-moves. Although you seem to have some back up already.

You SO need to hang out w/ us more. Quite eye opening when it's pointed out that it's certainly not you, because that cute guy just made a trip to the bar's parking lot w/ another guy.

And as far as getting rid of unwanted boys, I'd want Biff in a bar fight, but SWGB for long term psychological damage and jokes.

You SO need to hang out w/ us more. Quite eye opening when it's pointed out that it's certainly not you, because that cute guy just made a trip to the bar's parking lot w/ another guy.

And as far as getting rid of unwanted boys, I'd want Biff in a bar fight, but SWGB for long term psychological damage and jokes.

Against you or the latest psychopath?

I do want to apologize as we are not trying to make light of your situation. Honestly you should join us, it might give you some counter-moves. Although you seem to have some back up already.

PLEASE make light of it! As soon as school is out I plan to have a good laugh over it! :funn:I really need some lightness this week...

(And maybe I'll learn something from all this, too.)

Have you tried a shirt? It might send mixed signals though.



A book:


[ame="http://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Stalker-Everything-Need-Yourself/dp/1569246041"]Amazon.com: Surviving a Stalker: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Yourself Safe: Linden Gross: Books[/ame]

The saga of life at a military school continues...

Only a few weeks ago I was creeped out by an adult(ish) co-worker with a crush on me. Part of the ickiness was that I am honestly insecure enough that I don't understand men who have crushes on me.

Tonight I got a message on Facebook from a wonderful student who told me he "respectfully" has a crush on me. He was our cadet commander, and I told him that out of the few times I've been paid that compliment he was the highest-ranking and possibly most mature. (I did remind him that I graduated from high school 6 months before he was born. )

Too bad about the age thing, because he's a winner...